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Show THE ZEPHYR APRIL 1993 handsome, serious, ambitions, bright and eager to succeed at his job. He had come to us in the fall from a very traditional boys' school in Los Angeles and had been left alone in charge of the school for the first time, while our headmaster was away at meetings. He did not know that three floors directly above his head, there was a naked woman. He would not have believed it. It never would have occurred to him. And I neglected to mention the model to him, because, as I say, the fact of her existance in spring term had blended into the life of the school several years before he came. You must imagine him sitting at his desk, facing the door to his office which opens onto the main hallway of the school. It is almost 3 o'clock and the end of the school day. Just one more piece of information before the action begins: The model had a boyfriend. The boyfriend was coming to pick up the model at the end of the school day, and as long as he was there he thought he might as well play a joke on me. He would rent an ape costume and kidnap the model. There is quiet in the studio. ) Model is posing. Students are drawing. Mozart is on the stereo. BAKED 1TROUT WCORNBREAD 1 1 I STUFFING NEW SEASON NEW MENU Come see & taste i x the difference All is well. I leave the room for a little while to give the students a chance to work without my looking over their shoulders and to get some more supplies from a storeroom. While I am there I hear cheering from the studio, then quiet again. I return to the studio. The class is gone. And so is the model. A prank, I suppose -they're just hiding somewhere. I'm cool. They will be back soon, of course. What I don't know is that the boyfriend has charged into the room in his ape suit, beat his chest, hollered "ougha-oughapicked up the naked lady in his arms, and charged off down the stairs. The class thought it was me in the costume. Cheering, they jumped up en masse and chased down the stairs behind the ape. Three floors down to the main hall and then all the way down the hall from one end to the other and out the door at the other end, passing, you may remember, the open door of the assistant headmaster, who has bolted up out of his chair and stumbled to his doorway as the unbelievable rambled gaily by, down the hall and out the door. Calmly, I walk down the stairs, looking for my class. I know nothing about what's happened. Nothing. I swear. And headed my way is the assistant headmaster, who is nonplussed and inarticulate. He thinks I have set him up. He also thinks it was me in the ape costume. But here I am. He shouts, "What the HELL, Fulghum - what's with the AFE and the NAKED LADY?" "What?" The ape and the naked lady, in the meantime, have jumped in the ape's pickup truck and driven away, and the students have returned to the studio by another stairway. The assistant headmaster pulls me by the arm out the front door. Nothing. I shrug. "Jack, get some rest." PAGE 4 5 ," i h i i i i i i Years later. Jack still thinks I did a number on him. The students still think it was me in the costume. And the ape married the naked lady and they have a couple of little apes of their own now. "Ougha-Ougha- ". Is this story true? You have my version. The ape and the naked lady and the assistant headmaster will of course have theirs. The truth of many witnesses is a fact of life. Let me add one more view, contained in a letter I received this past year from an alumnus of the school - a student in that very Graphics class. She confessed that she had been afraid to be in the same room with a mixed crowd and a nude model, and even more, afraid to be afraid. She didn't eat all day. She was a doubting Catholic, but she seriously prayed to God that some miracle would happen if she went. She arrived late to class - just as the ape carried the naked lady away. Her prayer had been answered. A miracle. God had provided an almost unbelievable 92 E. Center open 7 days FINE ,5 accepted 9 259-429- 5 ESPRESSO DESSERTS Mountain Hying Service Office at 321 N. Main in the Navtec Bldg. 801-259-80- 50 "Offering scenic flights of the old Book Cliffs Highway Right-of-Way- ." SCENIC FLIGHTS solution. It kept her going to church for a long time. i i Collectibles - Jewelry Beadwork 1 35 n. Main st. Crafts 5 Reservations (across from the Poplar Place) 259-16- 01 ! "iWiiYriv..v. CHARTERS |