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Show PAGE 30 THE ZEPHYRMAY 1991 feedback Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. the readers respond Dear Sir: Dear Editor: friend Dan, over at Honey Creek, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go Into the "Not Raising Hogs business next year. What want to know Is, In your opinion, what Is the best kind of farm not to raise want to be sure that I hogs on? And what Is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I approach this endeavor In keeping with all government policies. would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but If that Is not a good breed not to raise, then whatever you would suggest will be the one I will not raise. As I see It, the hardest part of the NOT RAISING HOGS PROGRAM Is keeping an accurate Inventory of how many hogs I havent raised. My friend Dan Is very Joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising for twenty years or so, and the best he has ever made on them was $422.90 In 1968, hogs until this year when he got your check for $1,000 for not raising hogs. If I get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, then would I get $2,000 for not raising 100 to on a to at small scale about plan first, 4,000 operate hogs? holding myself hogs not raised the first year, which should bring In about $80,000 then I can afford an airplane. Now another thing these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. understand that the government also pays people not to raise corn and wheat I Would qualify for payments for not raising these crops not to feed my hogs that I will not be raising? I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a good time of the "Not for the year Raising Hogs and Not Planting Crops business. I am Also, giving serious consideration to the "Not Milking Cows business, and any Information for that business would be appreciated. In view of the fact that I will be totally unemployed, I will be filing for unemployment and food stamps and was wondering how long that process takes. Be assured, Mr. Secretary, you will have my vote. My was eating at one of Moabs "fine fast food a Jeeper complaining about how the land management In establishments, our area was Infringing on his rights to 4 wheel wherever he wanted. I saw him the other day when I was out skateboarding. He told me to get off the sidewalk.... One day after a good session In one of the best places to skate on our now famous Sllckrock Trail, we rested In some shade. While resting, a couple of Americas The other day while I I over-hea- rd types rode by and smirked upcoming, Yuppie, at what we were doing. His friend said, thought Sllckrock was a mountain blke-rldlarea only. By the disgusted looks on their faces I could obviously tell that they were Impressed with the way we dressed. I was Impressed by their biker shorts. A friend of mine once wrote In my high school year book that "Rattlesnakes and kangaroo rats cant mate. But they can still have fun In the sand, (the terms she wrote It In were a little different), but the Idea applies here too). The moral to this story Is: The sooner we all accept each other for our differences and Ideas, Is the sooner we can all have fun together. 1 ng Peace, Jeremy Parrlott, Moab Dear Editor: was skimming through my April Issue of the Zephyr while In bed late one night and began reading David Travers article, The Marching Men. What a great story I I havent laughed that hard In a long time. It brought back similar memories from my own I childhood. Thanks David! Id like to see more of this talented writer's work In print Is David planning any future articles? P.S. The Oddities section Is a great ldea...cant wait to read more of the "weird, true! but P.S.S. Please comment on the vicious rumor circulating that Jim Stiles, Infamous biking authority, has been seen around town In lycra?!! I I I I Patriotically yours, Don P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to give out the free cheese again? Sincerely, Kim Reilly, Salt Lake City, Utah NOTE: "P.S.S" Is untrue...Ed. Dear Jim and folks at the Zephyr: Here's some money for another year of your fine rag! Keep up the gnarly drawings and funny pictures of locals (and foreigners, l.e. James Watt). I particularly enjoyed last months article on Cactus Ed by Uoyd Pierson (aka Floyd Bence), even though he makes covert rude comments about Earth Flrstiers. To paraphrase Cactus Ed, Til out live him! Anyway, have a great Spring and Summer In Moab. I wish I could be there lurking around! Jeff Foster, Grand Junction, CO NEWS Oldest Cable News Program - Est. 1 956 DID YOU SEE... Bricks at the Equestrian Center and the Minit Lube? over the Jeep Safari Permit? Commissioners on the Keystone Pit? Moab Sign Ordinance? Bighorn Sheep in the canyons? Local residents head off for war? Fight CHANNEL 6 WAS THERE. Local Daily News 7:30 AM, 9:30 AM, 6:30 PM 89 N. Main Moab, Utah 84532 C, 801-259-84- 44 mm VjV'viAvvt vvvv. .v; mm ..: vv vvvYvVvVvvwvvvvii v.-- , v.v-- , , , .. .. |
