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Show THE ZEPHYRAPRIL 1991 PAGE 27 One of them put his hand on my shoulder. Til tell you what, buddy. When this comes down, well give you a ring and give you the scoop. I could scarcely contain my excitement, but somehow managed to stay cool. I shook hands with all the task force hands guys and returned to my car, I didnt believe a full well that knowing single word theyd said. deal multi-jurisdictio- nal -- Jim Stiles BOY SCOUTS AGAINST BEEF recent publication by the Great Salt Lake Council of Boy Scouts has set the Utah beef Industry mooing. Entitled The 6 Unacceptables, this publication lists several standards by which the Boy Scouts can become better stewards of the environment Reducing their Intake of meat, based on health and environmental reasons, Is one of the points stressed. Challenged by the Utah Farm Bureau and Utah Beef Council as "misguided Information, the Boy Scouts are standing firm. The measure was adopted along with e" several others: recycling, driving less, reducing the use of electricity and to camping provide guidelines for the Scouts for ways to better protect their environment A WHO ARE THESE GUYS? last week aroused the apparent law enforcement stake-o- ut curiosity of more than a few locals. Two unmarked cars, occupied by three men with video cameras, maintained a near ur vigil In front of Tom Balsleys Sears Main on Street store Several local merchants observed the cars and not knowing who they might be, called this crack reporter to check It out I arrived on scene several minutes later, and after photographing the subjects, decided to Introduce myself. The conversation went like this: "Hello, Im Jim Stiles and I publish a little newspaper here In town called the Zeohvr. A few people have been wondering why youve been parked here for the last two A not-too-sec- ret non-unlfor- "no-trac- 24-ho- days. Silence. Man In car looks at his newspaper, which may or may not be upside Damian Fagan SAVE THE PEAKS Here's the story line. Agent Dale Cooper, Investigating the murder of Laura Palmer, has been shot at point-blarange and lies In a pool of blood on the floor of his room at the Great Northern Hotel. An old man walks In with a glass of warm milk, and seeing the wounded Cooper, advises him that he'd better drink the milk before It cools off. The old man leaves, and a ten-fo- ot giant materializes before Cooper and gives him a clue that Is to supposed solve the mystery of.....who killed Laura Palmer? "The owls are not what they seem. nk down. So are you here on vacation? "Yeah, he finally speaks. "We like the scenery down here. Yes, I reply, lt's beautiful here on Main Street with all the trucks and Jeeps roaring by. Silence. Hes reading the funnies, I think. "Well, anyway, I continue, "If this Is supposed to be a secret, there sure are a lot of locals whove spotted you. David Lynches bizarre prlme-tlTV drama, "Twin Peaks, Is headed for the chopping block, unless unheard hoards of Twin Peaks Devotees speak up. If you don't want Killer Bob to Inhabit your body and make you commit heinous, evil acts, you'd better write to: me Robert IgorAttention: "Twin Peaks 2040 Avenue of the Stars Century City, CA 90067 --J- .S. walked over to the book store for a moment, and took a Zephyr off the rack. When walked back to my car, the reticent man In the unmarked car yelled out to me, "Do I make the front page? I admit I didnt look like I publish a I crossed the street, Zephyr In hand. newspaper. I was wearing my John F. Kennedy sweatshirt and my baggy purple Guatemalan shorts at the time, so I was not the most credible editor Ive ever seen. "Not the front page, I said. "Probably page 27... thats my 'oddities page. of an albeit rlnky-dlFinally convinced that I was, for better or worse, the publisher Active Earth a or (GASPI) an armed or robber, local paper, and not a drug dealer, Flrsterl, they confided In me. He was Joined by his two associates In the other car.... "Whens the paper cornin' out? No reply. I I nk "April 3rd." "Lets tell him. Thats far enough away." "...OK. Were waitin for somebody to come through here. Were cops. This is a stakeout "Who are you waiting for? I asked. "Somebody who's bad news, buddy. "Where Is this bad guy coming from? "From down south. "Wheres he headed? "North." "Whatd he do that was bad? "Can't say. "Do you expect him to stop here? "No, hell Just drive through town. Then why do you have the video camera out?" "Can't say. "Are you guys FBI?" B task force. "Were from Salt Lake... part of a "Is that State? Federal? tell you that, even The man In the car stared at me. "Buddy, we couldnt Note to Readers: Does life In the last decade of the twentieth century sometimes seem too strange to be real? Do you hear stories that you know are true but are weirder multi-Jurisdlctio- nal knew." though. work or fou mean you dont even know what agency you to comment, said his partner. "Do you have any lien, checking me out, they asked me, Not Veil, no, but my plctura I. on Pag. 2 of the papor. n much more handsome than the picture reveals. "You got a phone number?" they asked. "I sure do. Its In the paper, I explained. If we oy, . . vy good likeness, than science fiction? If you have a documented tale that fits that description, please send It to The Zephyr. Oddities Dept. P. 0. Box 327. Moab. Utah 84532. Contributions will receive a year's subscription. |