Show kindness wasted on mules notwithstanding the graphic esque and vigorous language the mule driver was using he was a man who evidently had seen better days and when the elderly matron with the shocked and grieved expression of countenance reproved bilm for his reckless style of talk and suggested that he use kindness on the animals he apologized try your recipe ma am be said come Bell atric come betel guese this leisurely manner ot yours is you know I 1 kindly a little more animation into bour movements you are lag ging behind the process on are you not aware my amiable quadruped that this consignment of merchandise is due at its place of destination two hours hencel allow me to direct your attention to the circumstance that at your present rate of locomotion we shall be one hour or more behind our schedule in arriving par don me Bell atric but there Is no ne cessley tor agitating our caudal appendage there are no flies at this season of the year you will oblige me greatly by concentrating your energies upon an immediate solution of tha traction problem exemplified by you as the motive power and this hicle with its contents as the thing to be moved Betel guese may I 1 remind ou that you are doing what Is known in vulgar parlance as soldiering I 1 regret the necessity ot appealing to our sense of dionor but the case Is urgent it it were aa absolutely nee essary I 1 assure you I 1 should not ad dress you in terms 0 remonstrance please be more expeditious both of you and I 1 pledge you my word you will lose nothing by it it doean doesn t seem to do any good ma am now you get out of this or wallop the hide ot you you brutes the caravan hereupon moved for ward at a greatly accelerated rate ot speed leaving a horrified elderly woman standing gasping and speech less on the street corner chicago tribune |