Show i A r yvv--v- s ' v v - ''V: VV t :: ( i The Herald Journal Logan Utah Sunday July 21 2002 — AJ v on what makes men tick Lewle-Clar- k vtk 's down According to the a reaction called “apontaneoui — which u caused when combinea rapidly with a snack —took place iinside the bucket and die pecans “burst into flames" (The same reaction occurs inside your stomach when you eat a Slim Jim) The getting both sides of the story contacted a Missouri pecan grower Elizabeth James 82 who has been growing pecans since 1940 She stated that her pecans have never 'inall those years given any her trouble' i don't explode by them- !They selves’7 she is quoted as saying -adding myLocd Nevertheless we can all agree there are several important conclusions to be drawn from this Missouri tragedy:' V‘ V latrine found LOLO Mont (AP) — Archaeologists have uncovered what they believe is the i latrine used by the Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery it ' their Travelers’ Rest campsite almost 200 yean ago The site was found after two ' days of excavation ihThtvel- - : r The discovery could be a substantial pointer in the exact alongLoSo Greek campsite That search is part of an effort to place a national historic landmark on the site of the Lewis and Clark camp ' “The national historic landmark for Traveler’s Rest was established around the confluence of the Bitterroot River and Lolo Greek and does not include dns site” said Loren Flynn director of the organization that m TTynn said finding the latrine is a significant piece of evidence in identifying the site as one of the expedition's camps Very few such camps have been pinpointed Archaeologists first believed the site was a latrine because its size and distance from remnants of fire hearths fit military guidelines for setting up a camp which they believe the expedition followed “It’s consistent with the pattern they’re finding at the near Great portage campsite Flynn said Daniel Hall the historical archaeologist leading the research project theorized that tiie latrine would contain traces of mercury from Dr Rush’s Thunderbolts a widely used cure-al- l of the time that the Corps carried It was 60 percent mercury - S'-- X oday wepresentan inwoftant breakthrough in me ongoing effort by research scientists Id figure out what if anything men are dunking' But first we have an important warning concerning a woniaometopk that unfortunately is very much on our minds these cays: pecan safety This warning is based on an alarming report from the SL Louis ( whidh ill part of the brain causes men to believe that women will be attracted to them if they have a big red - Corvette baffled everybody for thousands of years: Why do men like to look at women? The answer according to a study that I am not making up conducted by researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital is that looking at attractive women — prepare for a shocking findgettheirown ing — gives men pleasure ' darned nuts Yes According to news reports the 2 If your dog wants to get at your researchers had a group of young men look at photos of people of various pecans it's best to just let him even though he will eat the whole bucket degrees of attractiveness The study and then iafter conducting thorough showed that when the men saw a survey of your entire photo of a beautiful woman their house throw up on your most valuable pecans burst into flames if you get my floor covering drift If the men wanted to keep look3 Congress needs to hold hearings ing at a photo of an attractive woman into this question: How come airlines they had to keep pressing a key a I mat trout b to researcher is quoted as saying that prevent people onto planes and -a- pSome men pressed the key 6000 men just riAnu EVERYBODY A in 40 minutes which is “as much as a BAG OF NUTS? rat presses for cocaine” Speaking of questions we are now The researchers myhuVd that look- approaching our actual column topic ing at attractive women stimulates which is a really hard puzzler that has “reward centers” of the men’s brains '' good-looki- ng ‘ sions: 1 pecans in their garage “TTirir viMting pnHeliiMfBi lilrw M feed the nuts to squirrels” explains the ‘V- inch-by-in- Post-Dispat- ch The story states that One fateful day thecou-int- o the bucket pie’s dog from getting second a bucket on of (t top —put thus sealing the pecans tightly inside You have probably already what happened next: The dog burned down No Sony The HOUSE burned ' If a man is with let's say his wife and he sees an attractive woman and his eyeballs go shooting SPRO-INout of their sockets and dangle from their optic fibers around his knees this-i-s NOT HIS FAULT because he is under the control of his primitive reptile brain and his wife should not get angry at him even if it happens to be their wedding reception 2 We now know what part of the brain causes men to believe that women will be attracted to them if they have a tug red Corvette 3 Let the rats get their own darned cocaine v (14millian)of akrt readers The report concerns a Pacific Mo cotq)le who — like so many people!— kept a bucket of theman— seeking to keep We now know what Post-Dispat- ch I Post-Dispat- ch was written by Heather Rat- cfiffis and sent in by a number that are “considered to be evolutionary holdovers from reptiles” That sounds right to me I live in South Florida which is Lizard Central There are thousands of lizards in my yard alone and as far as I can tell the males dbVirtualljMiothing all day long except stare at the females Occasionally when a male lizard sees a female lizard that he considers to be particularly hot he will inflate a red sac on his throat Apparently the malt believe that this is highly attractive — that when female lizards get together in the ladies’ restroom they say: “Did you SEE the throat sacion Vfetnon?" But the point is that thanks to this ' breakthrough Massachusetts research we can draw some important conclu- com-basti-on - i m Post-Dispat- ch Media Services' : G ch 1 a humor columnist for Die Dave Barry is Miami Herald IDAHO LOTTERY! T Employee drug uso Istha logstof my worries" T1 MMadjutt BIMnIWib boofclnt wmi tfpu on puMkig mmiMi worth wnnylng Don’t Let Your Lawn Dry Up This Summer I "' : v: ft I ti- r‘j ° ‘ H-- i 4 - i M I Ronnette & Mark Anderson CacheValley will experience a very dry summer this year Many communities have already suited to radon water dr limit its use and many yards will safe because of it With increased growth and construction m the valleK will only become more emenshfe and less available and more yards and guldens w31 fed the effects of a diminishing witter supply Wouldn't it be nice if we could just apply a mirawjproduct to our yards that could help aconite the amiount we have to wate£ could make our fertilizer mote effective' and could actually improve our soil? Surprise! 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