Show grasped the opportunity tess mr saphead gave you a camel a foi our birthday dianthe he jess yes and we took it with us on our stroll through the country es clr what do you thinks he proposed ed to me actually flopped down on his knees and tess what did you saya jess why I 1 said look pleas ant please and I 1 do hope the picture will turn out well some good shooting any good shooting on our farma asked a sportsman of a farmer splendid did replied the 1st there s a canvasser man down in the clovel meadow a pedlar at ane house a county board candidate out in the barn and two tramps down in the climb right up over the fence young man load both barrels and sail in knew one of them of course mr sophomore Soph more you are familiar with all the great plas re marked miss kulcher now do you consider goldsmith s as clever as sher Goldsmith 9 replied sophomore Soph more he must belong to some minor col lege why there isn t another half back in the country that can touch sheridan of our varsity A break I 1 coulden couldn t help remarking mr bull said the girl who was forever fishing for compliments what a nice confidential chat you were having with miss kulcher I 1 fear you 11 find me dull by comparison not at all replied mr bull it will be a positive belief to talk to a girl who is not clever that is lovely weather isn t it cool are you going to make a fuss about a little thing like this asked the woman who was found shoplift ing we are obliged to take action answered the proprietor of the depart ment store humai you ought to be glad I 1 m no mrs chadwick star A proverb D weary wot is it willya dat old gag about time hem money aint so wy aint if W it it auz you an med have Rocky fellers fortune lookin like a chadwick autograph auty graph dai s w don t blame H m why did you engage that steno grap iera she can t spell at all I 1 know it but I 1 dictated a test letter to her in which I 1 used the word christmas leeral times and never once did she write it xmas so I 1 hired her at once by no means five dollars bald the medium thanks now a spirit wishes to to you a female spirit would you like it materialized 9 er can you tell who it isa certainly it is our mother in law lord no here s another five dollars dont fort worth record not suitable mater al don t make your nest of that warned the first mouse why nota q bened the other who was busily tearing a piece of paper to bits that s a piece of wagner s music and it 11 give you insomnia hous tou post emonas s on the man well he said during their rel I 1 suppose you 11 be wanting a di vorce next really she replied coldly I 1 dont why it should be necessary in this case A woman doean doesn t need a divorce unless she has been married to a man A bas the wh stier elygo here s a headline saying man stopped by wh skiing bullets grouch yes and it I 1 had my way abou the fellow that works at the desk next to mine there d be a head line some of these days man stopped whittling by illets nut in the pug I 1 st line bull yes miss lang mentioned to me last night that she knew ou by the way I 1 biever knew before that you were a pugilist Cadle a tet bull yes she told me you were a lightweight the only way to account for it lisie the richest girl in england was married a few days ago to a poor man who has no title and has no prospect of getting one maude my grac ous what a flight she must be you can t always tell it u pretty safe bet that any woman who doean doesn t gush ove a pretty baby is a confirmed old maid a not always she may be a mother who has a baby she thinks is prettier the truth conies out you lawyers remarked the doc tor are always ready to with a will right replied the lawyer but we have to wait till you doctors clear the way frenz ed finance goldburge Gold bugge have you any gilt edged railroad stocks among your in vestments 7 no b it I 1 v gofa a few all guilt copper staci s where the rub comes in youth I 1 bel eve I 1 will go to florida next week what Is the fare traveler elder eldern n young man if ou had enough to pay your board after joa got there you ask about such a trifling incidental as the rail road fare ew aorl weel ly she found out polly prise I 1 went to a fortune teller to find out I 1 was going to marry dolly wyse so did I 1 and I 1 found out dolly prise oh what fortune tell er did ou consults 7 dolly wyse bradstreet nothing strange crabbe I 1 admit I 1 was pretty cranky yesterday yest erda did the girls say anything about it 9 wise oh no crabbe funny the dian didn t notice my behavior wise I 1 don t suppose they saw anything unusual about it sets a hard pace jones smith seems to be a nice fellow and yet you say he is lar in this neighborhood brown yes he is you see he gets out and cleans the snow off his walk every morning and the rest of us have to do the same cleveland leader an impress on overcome don t ou sometimes think we are living too faste no I 1 used to but I 1 boon cured that impression I 1 moved out to a suburb and rode in to work every day on an accommodation train washington star progress deporter Ke porter have you captured that thug yeta detective no but we ve got his confession all prepared cleveland leader her remembrance of VI other ethe papa my teacher says am getting more like every day papa well you talk so much in school dear ce dr cutts I 1 made an awful take when I 1 diagnosed that man S case as appendicitis dr slash what did the operation disclosed 7 dr cutts that he have a cent cleveland leader not qu ck to judge cholly it was the first time I 1 d met crabbe mind you and he actually called me a fool haan hadn t been talking to him ten minutes don t you know what sort of fellah is he miss well he s awfully slow for one thing not a lead ng man I 1 dont see complained the sou brette why he is called the leading man why t he bea because he has been following me about ever since I 1 joined the corn pany willfully misunderstood I 1 bought a couple dozen cham glasses tor my husband today began the talkative mrs replied mrs knox where Is your husband s saloon lo 10 philadelphia press her mistake nell t told him if he dared to kiss me he d be sorry for it bella and was hea nell no I 1 was the only one who was sorry sorry I 1 told him suggest ng an easy remedy 0 rourke queer but ever I 1 feel in me pants fer me knife always in the other pocket matoole thin why don t al ways feel in the other pocket first ye foolish mana A possible explanation willie I 1 don t b lieve that story of puss in boots how could a cat have seven league bootsy tommy debbe a big giant threw em at bin one night A rather too th ck for tea officer what is the complaint here order offering basin tate that s r officer tasting well I 1 think it s excellent soup orderly yes sir that the brou trou ble they want to persuade pei suade us its tea glasgow evening times easy to guess I 1 have here an article on biow to manage a wife remarked a meek looking man as he advanced to the editor s desk ou are unmarried I 1 believe re plied the editor yes nothing I 1 merely tl ought so going out just in time goin out eha she sneered afier their quarrel yes replied her husband I 1 m going congratulate ned pilkinton you re slow the engagement as announced six weeks ago yes but it was only broken off yesterday his annual exhibit grayce Is ferdy going to exhibit at the horse show this eara gladys yes he 11 probably exhibit in his usual manner grayce biow s gladys make an ass of himself louisville courier journal another of its horrible effects new boarder I 1 wonder what makes all the people at this table so regular boarder you would be crusty too oud had to endure as much bacon as we have chicago tribune to be sure I 1 d like to turn my wife s pug dog my daughter s cat and my mother in law s parrot all into one room and let em kill each other r ah I 1 see pet scheme of yours eh the dear girls jane seemed terribly affected when I 1 told her her uncle was dead did you ever know jane to be any other waya IN ARREARS he I 1 owe a great del to that woman over there she your mother he no my landlady time for old to retire adith the old gentleman bawled irom the head of the stairs ask your young man if he doean doesn t think it s near bed time very well pa replied the dear girl from the parlor then after a pause jacb says yes it you re sleepy go to bed by all means i ii most deadly of insults j that creature actually told me to mind my own business know cholly the impertinent wretch 1 positively insulting As if to insinuate don t know that I 1 was in business one mans luck i hyker I 1 played in great luck at the races today byker soa quit winner eh hyker no but a friend at the track gave me a car ticket so I 1 dian didn t have to walk home chicago news proof positive coques I 1 must have been ally drunk yesterday hoques why do you think soa coques 1 found a receipted bill from my tailor in my pocket this morning chicago news can t touch them milliner why madam my prices are not high lady not but bately as I 1 am a bit short they are out of my reach detroit free press sure sign ernie belle Is trying to convince people that she is a college girl eva does she go around quoting latin and greek ernie no she says oh fudge and alls in the past mr goodley her age really sur me she doean doesn t look 28 does she rf t miss knappe not now but I 1 sup pose she did at one time |