Show Fad of the Month Happy horoscopes byAlexWhtanabe The Fad ofthe Month this month If you live by these horoscopes you will be strangely happy yet so simple-minde- it is depressing 20 - Feb 18) — Ibis month d Aqaarias (Jan pound's worth of candy you will if you eat over is punk clothe and accessories Ever since Avril Lafigne came on the acme with her Tm not just 25 die: Other than that tilings are looking great for you with some free money if you are nice to -- B-- r ' v' tlass 23 Nov 21)— You will see something you want Scorpio (Oct this month It might be a person place or thing and won’t stop at anylliing until you get il before the conflict is over though there will be great losses or your side because you sacrificed unnecessarily Eat coconuts and pistacios for happiness c 20) — Something really bad will Sagittarius (Nov will but sit there and think everything is fine If Jiappen you just you don't fix the problem it will grow and cause immense harm to you Find a Uhra person and teti them things They will believe whatever you say! You kids have fun Capricora (Dec 21 - Jan 19)— If you are doing really well at something then you’ll start feeling afraid that it’s going to fall apart That's because it probably is Be prepared for the worst possible scenario and be afraid Enjoy the use of water balloons Anger Manag- another Britney Spears or Christina ement Aguillera” thing it eeema as Starrlng:Adam though people just can’t get Sandler Jack Nicholson enough of this stiff: Loose ties’ Nate Alky lots of plaid suspenders and By First off I’ve just got to say that bracelets are the norm here this movie has one of the stupiddie from buxom others' Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20)— You will meet someone special and unique this month but be careful who you trust because somebody might be plotting against you Also don't eat any coconuts or pistacios they will make you sad Aries (March 21 - April 20) — You’ll get a grand opportunity this month to do adventerous things such as sports games and parties Be sure to forgive people when they throw water balloons at you Tairus (April 21 - May 20)—If you think about it all month ' and really try to get it you will get the thing you want most You can choose between money friends or belongings this month and also you will meet the Easter Bunny Gemini (May 21 - Jose 21) — You will say something mean to your friend and it will hurt his or her feelings Even if they' are still acting happy they are crying on the inside Watch your mouth this month and dress up like an EasteT Bunny and visit a Taurus person They will be stupidly excited Cancer (June 22 - Jaly 22)— You will get a disease this month if you don't take good care of your hygiene and medical needs Don't stick around people who sneeze cough or spit a lot Also wink at the seventh person of the opposite gender you see after reading this Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) — There will be many exciting things happening to you this month You will catch a mouse win a race get an A and win the favor of some people Congratulations! Mr go (Aug 23 - Sept 22 h— You will have a big project this month and you w ill not be satisfied with vour work You will keei fixing'it and trying to perfect it but you will run out oftime Tliei you will be upset because you will get a - and another kid u your class worked on it for five minutes and gol an A If someone is really nice to you give them money but only if they were bon bet January 20th and February 18th Libra (Sept 23 r Oct 22)— You will feel the need to believe everything you hear more than usual You will want to go to the newspaper staff and give them free things like money You also will ru: around the school screaming like a lunatic if yoi: don’t walcl: yourself Buy yourself a big sombrero and wear it to MovlaRtvIaw: Why change alternative Avril? Some to Britney market researcher doing hisfria job right Record exec’s have hit the nail on the head withbands like Linkin Park Limp Bizlrit Puddle of Mudd and Sum 41 Just like teenagers have been hit yet again with By endest corniest ings that I’ve seen in a long time It ruined the rest of the movie for me so if you really want to mjoy this film do yourself a favor and walk out 10 minutes early (about the time Rudy Giuliani shows up to yell: “You can do ft!") anothenFad oftheMonth! I must admit though Nicholson and Sandler save the movie by playing off of each other just as you would expect them to Sandler plays Dave your average shy guy who traumatized by refrigerator! This tests if you a youth ofholding bade his aggresare capable of comprehensive sion has many problems b his life thinking He works at a clothes company where he designs clothes for fet OK if you did not have the cats (not businessmen real live last three questions correctly felinea) Even though he’s dating this one may be your last chance the girl everyone seems to want' to test your qualifications to be (Marisa Tomei) he’s too afraid to a professional even kiss her in public resulting m an awkward handshake After one 4 There is a river filled with of the best scenes in the movie' a crocodiles How do yoii cross play on post-91- 1 airport security it? where Dave is tazored by a young female flight attendant (after askConed answer Simply swim ing kindly for headphones) he’s through it All the crocodiles are ordered to undo-g- o anger manageattending the animal meeting! ment therapy from the Could you be a pro? Hiroa Lyne This quiz consists of four questions that tel! you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional There is no need to cheat: The questions are not that difficult You just need to think like a professional How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? 1 to The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and dose the door this question tests whether or are not you doing simple things in a complicated way 2 How do you put an dephaht into a refrigerator? Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator' put in the dephant and close the door Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator remove the giraffe andput in the elephant and dose the door This question tests your 22-De- foresight The Lion King is hosting an animal conference All the animals attend except one Which animal does not attend? 3 Correct answer: The elephant The elephant is in the world-renown- This question tests your reasoning ability shrink Buddy Rydell - So If you answered four out of four questions correctly you ' are a true professional Wealth and success await you If you answered three out of four you have some catching up to do but there’s hope for you If you answered two out of four consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint If you answered one out of four try selling some of your organs It’s the only way you will ever make any money If you answered none correctly consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all such as law or nnliriri (Nicholson) Later highlights ofthe movie where Dave ia forced by Buddy to seduce a specific girl in a bar (Heather Graham) as he stutters one of the fimniest lines in the movie Later on when Dave goes to confront the bully from his childhood he discovers that he haa become a monk arid conse' quently gets in a fight with him At first glance this movie seems to have the makings of one ofthe greatest comedies to date Whosever idea it was to bring these tworSgeaholics together was a comical genius I only wish they could have found ' better script Despite this Anger Management haa more titan a few scenes funny enough to make the movie worth |