Show T ik P philosophical A 41 by BYRON WILLIAMS 40 tah alow now Is the time when the old resident emalls the awful winter ot of 1823 or thereabouts this was the same arel pieplant pie all froze you will re member it no this trade mark even though the year you may not feel certain about how deep the snow was the the white haired native says a fearful blizzard began pieplant froze october and continued until the next may with slight interstices of clemency and sunlight even to think of it makes males one shiver it was snowbound indeed there were few spelling bees in the country school houses that winter and thank ye mams were as as sturgeon sturgeons s eggs es on a caviar sandwich the ice froze so deep tn in the eners the f fish ish wore all the fins off their backs and snow shovels con ti oiled by a trust were used only in the homes of the very rich the young women painted summer scenes on the shovel blades and set them on the handle ends beside the mantels in the parlors the snow was so deep very little courting was as done and the heads of families aved greatly on the gas and kerosene oil bills the roads were almost impassable and the horses got so frisky standing in their stalls that they barked their hip bones badly for ears afterward horse traders told the age of equines by the white hair that came in after the hips bad had hea healed led and eien to this day mabbe seen an occasional old stud on the lal e shore drive of chicago thus marked it was a fearful winter ice froze in the and butter and beer were kept in the range ovens for weeks at a time wells congealed and cellars had to be steam heated to keep the preserves from bui ting milk froze in the coas cov s udders and we went without ice cream throughout through out the long lonesome days and nights of a calamitous season but praise to old sol the warmth came at last and by july 4 the old residents were as busy as ever asking casual acquaintances well is this hot enough for youa moral it Is always coldest just after the janitor takes one glass too many someone Is responsible for a proposal party fad to all who are enamored we would respectfully warn of an old custom that of burning bridges behind it Is well before attending one of these amorous affairs who invented to look well to the backward track that a reverse the english may be used if desirable many a young man proposal party of bright prospects and happy go lucky associations has lived to be tongue lashed by a modern mrs rip van wini ie Is because of a too early application of the torch to the bridges over which he has passed to the home of a fairen fair en amorata As we understand this proposal party a careless man who enters there has little show of ever again seeing daylight as a bohemian he Is saddled and bridled in the rosy eff efful ul gence of the back parlor and sent galloping out after the ring and a marriage license he ile doesn doean t wake up until about six months later when his wife wants a new something that costs a month months s salary then he lip can see it all the dainty invitation the unique wording the novelty of the reception the lights burning low the incense the tender loving cooing conversation the glossy hair the cheeks checks glow the warm arms and rash capitulation like a simple he stood before the matrimonial fakir wagon and bought soft soap badly then he takes up the married man mans s burden and purchases a house on installments occasionally he wonders it if Zan tippe herself didn dian t originate this proposal party business and mourns because he burned his bridges proposal parties are no end of tun fun it if you leave your watch on the piano at home keep keel your hand on your pocketbook and cut a loop hole for craw fishing otherwise it Is a ser ous business and means nothing more nor less than tacky ben benedict edlet hood beware of the torch when doctors disagree it Is time ordinarily to embrace a faith cure in this instance however you cannot substitute faith tor for a bath and the aeterna tive perishes the man who has so steeled himself to what to do cold baths that he can break the light ice scum on the in bosom of the miniature lal e with his bare heel and an emergency tumble into boreas grip with one splashing gasp is a brave citizen he was as nerous months ago and hia his physician prescribed the cold bath cure at the outset he refused and beside the icy tub resol resolved veI to die rather than take the plunge he ile but touched the bottom of his foot to the water and shrieked then he tried getting into the frosty fluid by degrees and felt his heart jumping out of his mouth as he suf fared himself to sink those were sad days of trial and not until he learned to hang over the tub with feet and hands and fall in all at once was he happy then he soused sou ed about shook a bit soured some more and got out into the warm air of the bath room feeling like a colt his nervousness disappeared but now he has the rheumatism and another physician tells him the cold baths close the pores throw the waste back into the kidneys and cause his aliment ailment he ile has been told that warm baths are enervating and he Is in the inimitable words of herr wagner the prince of pilsen up against it he Is thin thinking kina ot of trying the perfume habit and of abrogating baths entirely except on state occasions men worl hard for power and pelf and occasional we see some provi dent fellow worl ing in the sunset of ills his life through for e of hab t I 1 ew men or women however love work for itself a one tom work without sawyer much preferred going in shimming to white the washing the fence about his home and many a boy prize incentive has hoed potatoes with a heavy heart in sucker fishing time to begin with we don dont t take to work as we do to play but as we progress through life a s vale we note tl at everything depends upon work work with the hands or the brain butimore buti mork tor for all that success is only attained through effort comfort poci position tion adulation of the many are but the masterpieces of labor we soon learn the lesson set our eyes straight to the front and upward and work many over worl in their zeal to accomplish great thing but these same toilers with the prizes gone would work little the fact is joy of work ork independent of results is most ex felt by those who dont don t hae ha e to toll the hobo that dreamed he was working and awoke with a cry of consternation is not a fit illustration but the fact remains that none of us are too fond of work b because cause it is work having successfully fully thwarted the liquor traffic in this country it Is said carrie nation will go abroad and hatchet the hydra headed monster er in england and elce elsewhere where we don t believe carrie Is really plan suspicions ning bing to do any such thing but if she really is we would still respectfully notify her that a few remnants of the linger here bellida traffic remain on oil the north side ot of chicago only last saturday night we noticed a square box with handle holes in the end being carefully carried through the rear door of an apartment house on winthrop avenue it may possibly have been mineral water but the clin kety clink of the mysterious contents did listen like beer bottles and sunday when we were out exercising our family rhinoceros on the lake shore drive we saw a man hide behind a minnow pall and drink frem from a long black bottle of course this isn t proof positive of liquor being sold in this country but it if the tip is worth anything to the kansas le former we are gratified there Is a man in buena park wa wh 0 has an awful red nose too car rie riel don dont t desert us and quit throwing wate the fire of Z our ur thirst until it has been quenched indeed but then on to england the man who confessed to duider he t do explains he just keep from lying if much murder is committed we feel sure someone shou lili warn the department store salesmen to keep indoors when prevaricating tor for a few days until the matter blows over lying la 14 becomes said to be such pastime with some people they second nature prefer it to the truth but of course we cannot all be in the newspaper business bu iness somehow we always feel sorry tor for the modern ananias nobody expects him to tell the truth and to be eternally lying Is no easy accomplishment I 1 am told some men are natural born liars they can lie ile from the first note of the thrush in ili the gray dawn until the cuckoo clock chimes the hot rs of the early morning many a wife unconsciously owes her peace of mind to the smooth alacrity and suave truthfulness of mien assumed by her recreant husband it is well there la Is no possible excuse tor for stirring up family misunderstandings at last a genius has been born he ile has invented a comb that will not tall fall from a lady a s hair no matter what the provocation location Is or I 1 ow mussed up the fair one a crinoline the comb like the star an inventor spangled banner is still there the frizzes may catch who on willies shirt studs or in his elk pin but that makes good precious comb sticks to its work like an organ grinder unexpected company maa ma come ma ina or pa may drop in almost unannounced verily the comb keeneth its 0 we et and doth its mission well the inventor bids fair to become acry popular valle his grap pie tooth comb is already a joy and a cupid a assistant now if the same genius will invent a bald cure tor for the shiny top of middle aged bachelors he h will have made good indeed |