Show uncle josh les I 1 went t to hev m pitcher took I 1 care euthin about it m self but wife aez land sakes jonathan what et ye should die off like an bothin fer th boys t remember ye by an f aez well III be gol darned ef th a has got to have m photograph ter te kaep m irem ry fresh an green I 1 guess it wont make much difference th novelty of the pitcher wears off but wife ashes jest like all th cimmin biks when they git sot on anything so I 1 dressed up fit t hlll haan hadn t had on a baled shirt fer six years that belli when I 1 run fer school director th paper collar dill that s my boy loaned me dian didn t ride sidesaddle very good but we tied er darwn with a red an yeller necktie wife had fer a scarff when she wa a young critter an off we went t th choti grafters my sunday boots mak in me mis able an that bummed collar chokin th seeds my adam s apple well sir we got there and the was t hum four dollars fer a dozen and three dollars fer a halt aez he I 1 begin t back out but birlar she got tween me an th door and argued art allus does come high eba aez me back inter the grafter s tentacles well bum by they got me ready fer a and th he smoothed my suit about th shoulders and aez t look right about here on the door jamb an then be put th back my head in a vice and aez to keep cool and look fatral then he pressed one them injia rubber balls in his hand and click went th dumb thing an I 1 jumped up an triumphant never huit a bit aez I 1 laughin and he aez wait I 1 ain tool it yet and pot me down agin an put me in th iron vice and got behind a buggy robe machine cover er so methin like that and turned th darned thing around right at me mr enot grafter I 1 aez ye dont it 11 break th glass do yea an I 1 haw hawed right out he dian didn t pay no to me but all to be grabbed hold of tn handle of th cannon thing an started right down th room towards me I 1 could see th muzzle right at my heart an with one blood whoop I 1 up an jumped ye see I 1 d been shot at in th bat tie guttenberg an I 1 want no chances on having th thing repeated in times peace but anyhow when I 1 jumped that bummed vice on th back my head hung on like a puppy t a root and in less than a linit we was all down on the floor photo gratter pitcher machine scenery an me an them there clamps a hangin on fer dear life well t make a long story fiort I 1 finally got loose and dumb through th side window into th alley an cut fer hum an I 1 reckon that them kin git shot that wants to anyhow fer me I 1 d ruther be a forgotten father than a dead goliath FAMILY again johnnie was playing david and goi lie was david and every stray dog that chanced that way was go hath of course this isn t goliath at all he mused sending a stone down the alley after a keyling dog but III meet the real thing one of thesa days crash the stone had the top ot the alley fence and bounding hurtled through a plate glass window in browns conservatory I 1 that night when father came home and had to pay tor the window john met goliath all right but the scriptures were dreadfully reversed A woodshed holds great revelations to the average boy A pennsylvania clergyman has lost his place because of a love tor shakespeare the reverend gentleman frequently quoting in his from the works of the bard it Is evident his congregation wanted abel religion straight and soon again we will list the r 1 crated assertion that katydid I 1 as we said before we have ideas about the matter the music that always appeals to tte ever f va can not be beautiful but day at least keep her ears clean that sanguinary fellow mr M 0 bulto Is with us once again shall we the woman who gives men heart disease I 1 very man a wife Is the architect os happiness an electric fan Is no respecter ol 01 fingers |