Show The Herald Journal Logan Utah Sunday September 27 1898 — Pag 19 economic advice: ‘Don’t forget ketchup’ ' Motorola employee named Horace M Sueet who when asked recently how to make a TV What makes (he economy itnug clopedia and then imagine tfi endless stream of hilarious jokes set said quote "You need 12 hen Is the America ers drink biUioas of gallons of you'd be making if you were a foot of stout walnut" headed? Should we be wyriilty combs cotfn Bpwmb tourist in Vietnam” Q Are you going to get many the Stock hteket of $349 per cm Our latte iadus- -i Q Why does the Asian economic from irate crash? WiB we loae oar jobs and dwaria Oenend Motors crisis pose such a serious threat animal-lovechastising you for our Ufa savings and our homes? toAmerica? making a joke about eating dogs? Wffl wo ultimately have to wart A Because Asia is where TV sets off starvation by eatiaa our q! What will these letters say? come from Asia is haviagai currency Q Can't we just make our own A They will say: "Mr Barry 1 Hold calm dowal personally am unusually intellicansedby the fact that the TV sett? Then is NO Asians suddenly realised that a A Ha ha! The only person still gent and therefore capable of of thinklot of their currency has funny alive who remembers anything realizing that you were attemptnames such as the "baht” the about the era when Americans ing to be satirical but many of ing! Sum the econ"tip" the "ringgiT and the "Viet could actually build a working your readers particularly impressionable young people will as a omy has currency whore name we television is a been an a ByDnetBiny America work force is oo hold inviMjnn weiring for Technical Support' can't print in the newspaper but W let-te- numor-impair- ed rs itfut'a - rs direct result of your column eat their dogs” Q What about this "Year 2000” computer problem that 1 keep hearing about? Is it going to cause worldwide economic collapse?” A Don't worry! Our top minds are working on it day and night Q Who are our top minds? A Gus and Bud Their current remain wise and vigilant and keep their Vietnamese currency units in their pants there is every reason to beheve that our economy will remain robust until well into the latter part of next Thursday After that it would be wise for all of us if we are looking for a safe place for our money to drinking is that the problem is remember Alan Greenspan's recent words of advice to Q So what you’re saying is I investors Q What were those words? A "Remove the collar first” do not panic and our leaders Dave Bany Is a humor eotumnist for ew Miami Herald Writs to him co Tropic Manulne The Miami Herald One Hsr- MMaza Mtaml FL 33132 "somewhere in the carburetor” mould not be worried? A That is correct We are a strong nation and as long as we "roller coaster" of late but let's consider the reas-sating words of Federal Reserve n Alan Greenspan in hia receat speech before the Association of People Before Whom Alan Greenspan Gives Boon "This is merely a temporary economic slump” Greenspan stated adding "everybody should getsomedoo” So there is absolutely nothing to worry about except for the eerie parallels between our cur-- those surrounding the big Stock et crash that led to the Great I 1 HUB PARALLEL NO 1: The big Stock Market crash occurred in 1929 The year that we are currently in according to ft majority of loftdmft ocoBoonts is lWkTBoth of these yean start x We offer low introductory HOME EQUITY RATES with exactly die same two digits in exactly the saaae order: Coincidence? EERIE PARALLEL NO 2: Aim Greenspan gave exactly the same speech in 1929 EERIE PARALLEL NO 3: T Jupnli fail g wfutny named "Kennedy” President Because first impressions Kennedy had a secretary named "Lincoln” Incredibly nririwr of ARE EVERYTHING these presidents had an intern named"Lewinsfy” So perhaps there is indeed cause for alarm Tb help us better understand the situation let's analyze the current economic picture by making up questions and Galk jt the honeymoon t Q Why has the US economy been so strong in recent years? A The key is the software indusworkers to well-pu- d six months (a) design software and then (b) try to figure out how come it doesn't vratk Vi w K a V you'll get an rate on your home equity the economy because at any of the given time ds line of credit You'll also get Yoor viocr quick approval and have cash in your account in no else insults me tremendously! In dosing I am thankfol that I have nine healthy children (who all reride here in Cache VhUey) I l especially low introductory Q And that makes the ecooomy strong? A NaSoftwwe actually HURTS two-thir- 4 phase if you like For the first try which employs many highly educated i’ll ' ! time to spend on the things and I am also thankful for my pioneer heritage (as a fifth gener- t ation Cache Couaty native) you need Like tuition paying I am pond that I served my country during time of war and that I served Cache County citizens for ovcr21 years I am alao proud to be running the Democratic candidate for off bills or even fixing up the u house After all we want you Cache County Sheriff! William Harvey Lanoo Logan ' to think of us long after the Lacrcxxhoro honeymoon's over STOP BY YOUR LOCAL WASHINGTON MUTUAL FINANCIAL CENTER USHOUSUDAHO Michael Crapo Republican - 2ad CoQiitsrioftsI District which HfH1 FkarikRn County 437 Cannon House Office Building Washington DC 20513-120- (202)223-553- 1 2 Idaho office: 304 N 8th Room 325 Boise ID 83702 (208)334-195- 1 - UTAH SENATE lb call your Utah senator at dw : Senate: (801) 538-10To write your senator at the Senate: The Honorable John Doe 35 Utah State Senator Room 319 Stole Capitol Sak Lake Oty UT ' 84114 Senate District 24 (Box Elder ' Cache counties) — John P River City' Holmgren PoTbox 208 Bear River City UT 84301 Homs phone 279- (079 Senate District 25 (Cache Rich Summit counties) — Lyle WMttyardR4joan 17S&100 R-B- ‘ NartjLogauUT84321 ' ' ' ItaMp UVUWi k MM UIWiSiHWa VMS art Diihuiwa W "MU Mh In h opm Ml wM iwpSwi KWJBOSnamw— MMt LSMMwHRMWMvmMeMlkeMNMMamh1kMWMitMMaLlMiaiSMMllHL m mmtm mm ejw In ml w mm m m M Ik npaiW will SHOW ' t i OV will II ! nfini aii in I |