Show co- oo - t NTHETIJBF to CM The Shrine Disney and the bigger picture More on Diana Mouse ears and empty hearts came home from vacation late the other I night tired but a bit wired from the drive I wai hoping to catch aome gonzo on Cinemax to calm me down: one of those old deala in which unnatural blondes discuss spy tactics topless in a hot tub and then don halter tops and MAC-lO- s to shoot up terrorist coke dealers supermodels-tumed-superspi- Alas Cinemax was relatively tasteful that night What the hell I figured if we’re going to be tasteful let’s go all the way I flipped to the Disney Channel where I happened to catch The “Mickey Mouse Oub” Excuse me it was the new “Mickey Mouse Chib” Well new is a relative term Its origin appeared to be sometime in the ’70s: The kids all had hair as complicated and severe as topiary and wore bright with pastel what looked like a bar coderainbow plastered across their chints tee-shi- rts Our whole culture is a vortex of perky activity designed to obscure the fad that there's nothing going on in its empty heart Like the old “Mickey Mouse Oub” nothing actually happened in the course le its half-hoThe Disney-fie- d of old-sty- ur had been replaced Jimmy Dodd Disney-fie- d by ’70s-styfunky halftunes But in Disney World soul and pep are the same thing In Disney World funky always equids perky half-hu- m le Halfway through the program Tim “Spino” Considine and Annette “Annette” Punicello from the old "Mickey Mouse Oub" were trotted out to the obviously coached admiration of the new In D GommeiUaKM t My Mr Lady (1964) In the story of a flower girt taken In and taught manners What la her fMher'a name and what doea ha do lor a Bring? 10 In the mm Fargo (1996) In what cky does the statue of Paul Bunyon realde? “Mickey Mouse Chib” members flashbacks ensued and the youthfld Tim and Annette were shown in Mack and white dips doing well nothing I also recall during the early ’90s the Disney Channd trying out yet another “Mickey Mouse dub” —full of perky nd peppy breakdancing and rapping Again for all the activity nothing really happened At least it was on during die day What’s the point of showing the “Mickey Mouse Oub” at 12:30 in the morning? Is it for nostalgia-impaire- d insomniacs? Are there a lot of middle-age- d men and women out there eagerly awaiting the midnight hour so they can don mouse ears in the privacy of their homes? Maybe Disney is Just taking the opportunity to wring every last drop from its product line Maybe we all are Isn’t that what the Internet is supposed to be all about? Creating a database for everything— from weather and literature to third stooges and character actors in John Ford movies? But things never change Spin and Marty from the “Mickey Mouse Club” have been replaced by spin doctors named Marty in a Mickey Mouse world but what’s the difference really? Our whole culture is a vortex of perky activity designed to obscure the fact that there’s nothing going on in its empty heart Oh sure we have events Or do we? After all according to certain spin doctors oral sex in an oval office is not really sex According toother spin doctors oral sex from The Book IkMe Also see Cache Valley’s Tbp 10 Movie contest on Page 10 of this week's magazine Last week's answers: 1 Licorice 2 OaWrfCOpperfMtf by Charles Dickens 3 THX 138 George Lucas' first feature Nm was THX 1 138 4 Plastics 5 Their college professor or -- lb enter the above trivia contest please write down answers and drop them off at The Herald Journal office 73 W 300 North Logan or The Book Tkble 29 S Main Logan or see our website at wwwJtjnewsxom Deadline for this week's contest is closing(6 pm Herald Journal 8 pm The1 Book Ihble) Wednesday Sept Any questions call Midiael Hood Winners of the weekat 732-21will receive 10 contest trivia ly video rentals free 21 new-relea- Some is nothing but a surefire voie-getlterrorists are freedom fighters Reprisals against terrorists are either ineffective ploys too little too cynical public-relatioet the dark FROM PAGE 7 in an oval office is not only sex it’s the tip of sn iceberg of corruption Moral outrage teacher 6 “Lydia The Tattooed Lady 7 Mark Susan's brother 6 Cfflrerr Kane received nine nominations and won one award (Best Original Screenplay) 9 Jerry MuNgisfs profession was an artist and formerly a GI who stayed In Paris after the war 10 Maracas ns late or too much too soon Seeing Saving Private Ryan is a moral imperative ft will end war as we know iL Movies are events snd special events are events and eventualities are events and potential scenarios are events and everything’s just one big joke — so how can we tell when an actual event occurs? Well we can’t All we have are images to upiioid Cinemax must be die home of Lorenzo Lunas hmg fu cops and topless superspies CBS despite evidence to the contrary must be the Tiffany Network Democrats care about common people Republicans don’t believe dud government should be used as an instrument for social experiments The rich must get richer die poor poorer Disney must provide wholesome family fare Quentin Ikrantino must provide screenplays rich with profanity and random violence I must exhibit a dark cynicism unconnected to anything in reality ft’s my nature It’s my image That’s why 1 wear the battered fedora the shades the dark suits And the mouse ears of course But hey my spin is this: Hie mouse ears aren't really mouse ears They’re cultural artifacts worn ironically — bylan8hoalea 1998 Newspaper Enterprise Assn Edtor'a note: Ian Shoaled new book Not Wet Yet’ Is available from 21361 Pubkcattone PO Box 1910 Loe Angelas CA 90078 The toll-frnumber Is hi the early morning hours of August 31 1997 Diana Princess of Wales was involved in a car accident in Paris Phuice She died shortly thereafter sparking a global mourning like none before Following Dima’s tragic and sudden death a sfarme of flowers and cards sprang up overnight at London’s Kensington Palace The British public flocked to the makeshift memorial in astonishing numbers — some remaining for days — in a spontaneous grieving process that was soon replicated by people the world over Documenting this extraordinary outburst of national grief Dima Princeu of Vkdei: the Shrine airs in commemoration of the one-yeanniversary of Diana’s death on KUED-Chann7 Monday Aug 31 at 9 pm is interThe respectfiil photo-essa- y woven with commentary from mourners and footage of the funeral as seen through the perspective of those gathered outside die cathedral and along the processional route With no host or commentator the events of thoae emotional days unfold in a gentle manner befitting the occasion The images speak for themselves and offer a sense of what it was like to be in London during those days — from the hours before the fimerel to the removal of die tons of flowers and gifts outside the palace Earl Spencer in his eulogy to his beloved sister best expressed sentiments of the mourners: “Diana was the very essence of compassion of duty of style of beauty All over the world she was a symbol of selfless humanity All over the world a standard-bearfor the rights of the truly downtrodden a very British girl who transcended nationality ar el er |