| Show ajl I 1 sat substitute it was an amateur pla the heroine v as scheduled to 1001 daggers at the villain at the ast moment however it was discovered that the property man had neglected to lay in a supply ot dag gers oh never mind said the heroine look 1 atspins i dont use superfluous poor soap read hungry hawkins from the piece of newspaper that came with a hand out some folks waste er lot uv words growled weary walker in dat sen tence I 1 d leav e out de word poor would help his business stubbs scribe the poet says he d like to run tor the legislature won der penn he heard that members of the legislature get free postage on to him borroughs I 1 ve got a great chance to make big money on a certain in vestra ent if wise sorry old man but ive had to borrow myself this month phil adelphia press new thing in ce pensions weary V illie what s your idea on pensions 9 dusty rhodes well I 1 think every man who chasn t worked tor twenty rs orter have one his po nt of view why Is it asked the landlady as she glanced up from the paper that a wife murderer always puts up a plea of Insanity 7 most natural thing in the world ed the scanty haired bachelor the mere fact of his having been married goes to show that such a plea Is justifiable CALLED HIM DOWN guest I 1 want some raw oysters they must not be too large nor ta small not too salty and not too tat they must be cold and I 1 want their quick walter yes sir will you have them with or without pearls sira his method of support father sternly that Is all very well young man but can you sup port my daughtery 9 intending son in law oh yes fairly well that s to say I 1 can sup port her for an hour or two but I 1 be gin to get tired after that ashes thundering heavy you know her antell gence Is she very Intelligent 9 she is certainly much more intel legent than the average woman how is thata why she is intelligent enough not to try to read a paper on a subject that she knows nothing about before a woman a club sf actor I 1 hope said the visiting person that when you get out of this place have a higher aim in life than cracking safes I 1 dont know about that replied prisoner no I 1 did try porch climbing for a while but there gasn wasn t much in it not impress ve A justice court marriage seem like a marriage at all no iso it s just like a lawsuit and you have the feeling all the time that an appeal lies to a higher court when ever you become dissatisfied wih the verdict but its immoss he I 1 d consider it a great pleasure to talk to a woman like miss gas away she what why she d talk you to death he 1 said id consider it a pleas ure to talk to her not to listen to her he was surprised one object of our organization said the would be reformer is to prevent the practice of allowing corpora alons to get valuable franchises for nothing why rejoined the exal deiman in surprise I 1 dian didn t know they ever did never touched H m mrs I 1 m going to call on one of the neighbors this evening john don t worry it I 1 m not back by 9 clock cheerfully oh all right not worry it you don t come back for a week natural deduction the maid I 1 believe that married love Is the only true love the bachelor it would seem so ac to the old adage the maid what old adages the bachelor that one about true ove never running smooth for H s second wife there Is just one more thing I 1 ask said the ex husband to the ex wife as they concluded the divorce settlement what Is thata asked the ex wife inasmuch as it Is agreed that I 1 retain the house property kindly let me have your visit ng card plate pos dively brutal do you know what the average woman s weight isa asked the fair typewriter boarder who was interest ed in statistics sure replied the scanty haired bachelor at the foot of the table her wait Is until some fool man proposes the polite formula little fourbear old margie was a model of politeness how Is your baby brother this morning margiee asked the doctor when she opened the door in answer to his ring oh hes dead thank you she replied wise and otherwise and how Is you daughter getting on with her music fine ashes got so she calls her teacher the maestro right along that nas excruciatingly t funny joke you ciote ha ha about the fellow who dian didn t know a bunker from a stymie said the golf fiend made a hit with the goiters eha ed the jol e writer of course such jg norance Is lang able I 1 suppose so say what are bunk erg and stymies that bad boy you appear to have quite a bad cold mr said the hostess sympathetically yes replied the guest it s settled in my chest and its exceedingly tight oh yes pa was tellin us about it brote in the hostess little boy he said you were awful tight cheated H s L atle joke docton said the patient after pay in his bill if there is anything in the theory of the transmigration ol 01 souls you II 11 be a war horse after death that sounds rather flattering re marked dr price price yes you re such a splendid chang er catholic standard and times vary ng nat onal customs mrs bacon I 1 see in china when an interior person on horseback meets a superior he dismounts and waits antil the latter has passed bacon yes in this country it is different athen a superior person in an automobile meets an interior person on foot he immediately runs over ibia yonkers statesman his private on an sighed henpeck who is fond of quotations man was made to mourn and what was woman made for asked his self acknowledged better half to make him do it I 1 suppose re plied his wife s husband days of the week what are the days of the weeke asked the teacher the little girl pondered deeply for a moment big dinner day washing day iron ing day baking day the girl s day out last school day and play day she answered finally an escaped porker deporter Ke porter how were you impressed by the european you visited 7 distinguished traveler they are marvels of cleanliness sir to return to one of our cities after be ng abroad Is like coming back to a hogpen reporter may I 1 ask what hogpen you started froma A thorough understanding Understand inQ would you want me the heiress ed it I 1 were penniless 7 would you want me to want you ohp flabby looking earl replied it I 1 had no titled then they agreed to lay the matter before her pa without further conald ON HIS BIRTHDAY mr wise I 1 dont think bobby Is feeling well today to day mrs wise why nota mr wise he has had his toys tor nearly an hour and none are broken dens ve he says he created quite a furore with his new play remarked the first actor huh snorted the other he means he created quite a few roars git off the stage shoot him etc As def ned say papa asked little cordelia what Is a woman called who thinks twice before she she s what they call a mute my dear answerer ans the knowing parent that poor careyl mrs dolan does yure husband 1 iss ye marnin s bedoor goin to mrs casey just married he does if he dian didn t he d be in no condition to go to burk judge too real soubrette so you went out with a sea orama I 1 suppose there was a skipper m the play bedian yes the manager skipped with our salaries ft jiA Jeaa humorous hobo so de man give yer a camel s hair undershirt 7 interrogated gritty george chuckled joking jim an now all I 1 need Is a pair of elephant skin pants an I 1 II 11 feel like a circus mere thought new clerk I 1 think I 1 understand the business pretty well now employer yesa keep at it four or five years perhaps you 11 understand it then as well as 0 o i think now true D parson brown I 1 want to sell my horse he s a good traveler sound as a dollar and gentle as a lamb deacon smith how old Is hea parson brown oh er about the usual age of horses A message will the fine gentleman let me tell his fortune 7 asked the gypsy girl sure ed Har duppe tell it to hurry along I 1 ve been waiting for it all my life exchange |
