Show blunders of women by A MERE MAIM wy VW THE HIGHLY respectable PERSON HILE these arti cies have been appearing I 1 have received a large number of letters among these Is one which I 1 feel I 1 must mention as it has made me pause and consider carefully whether I 1 should continue this ser es or drop the whole subject and let the world continue in the same haphazard way that women hae reduced it to the letter runs as follows I 1 wish when you wrote that article about women that ou sic some one had strangled you you have made my lire a burden to me through my husband what with your bar ness and lour bran mash etc and codr mutton chops and so on there are no words in the english language bad enough that I 1 could throw at you please close your series at once as they won t do good at all and are only making strife in once peaceful homes this is signed an angry wife and I 1 spare my readers the PS it would be easy to sneer at this blotted and lolite te letter but I 1 am not so hard hearted as some of my readers may imagine and I 1 can see that this badly written letter is sta ned with tears there is even a pathos for me in the vulgarity of the postscript and I 1 am deeply sory it any words of mine have led some foolish man to apply them too near home for his own and his wife s comfort my mission is not to make discord but to preach peace I 1 want to how women where they fail so that they may mend their man ners and if they will only take heed and their husbands will only be a lit tie patient with them though there may be little storms I 1 am sure the sunshine will succeed with these few words and in this hope I 1 continue and I 1 take for my subject women s idea of a good ant or at least their idea of a ant they ought to put up with she Is common to all homes and I 1 am sure all my readers will recognize her under the title of such a b ehly re spectacle spec table person she Is a very tidy person she al ways carefully puts away anything you want and you see by the way your papers are turned over that our desk has been thoroughly dusted round the edges and she is bandy withal it the chair is brol en ou will not find it out at once as she will make it hold together till you sit down b tying it with string or dri ving a denpel ny nail agh the back which is so brittle and old that it splits it she has any washing to do she makes no fuss about it she waits till you re out and does it in the bath room and when the waste won t act and the plumber comes and pulls up hai the floor and the force pipe smothers the ceiling with semi decayed soap and dirt you can satisfy yourself that the mischief was as much due to the fluff and hair which somebody put in the bath as the fact that the highly respectable person forgot that hot water will melt a bar of soap in time it allowed to stand but what the highly respectable person is moot careful of Is mas tere things she always knows where his socks can be bought cheap er than he can buy them for himself and she has endless suggestions AS S has la read her mistress s letters to what to do with his clothes or ties and which he so foolish ly treasures above much newer fash ions and colors which can be picked up at sales it is needless to say that such a clever useful person who Is so care ful of the interests of hei master and mistress is not adored by the other servants they of course not being highly respectable persons have to be carefully watched their letters have to be scrutinized and it possible read their conversation at the kitchen door with the milkman or baker and at the ball door with the postman are duly noted their manner of addressing one another and any words which they drop have a terrible significance when reported at appropriate moments and that they are very foolish persona 1 proved by their objecting to be inter with on every point and by al lowing themselves to be exasperated into telling the highly respectable person to mind her own business that euch a state of open revolt should be allowed to continue 1 of course impossible having awakened to the fact that the highly respect able person Is trusted and honored in the eyes of her nominal mistress the rest of the servants fearing a month s notice and a bad character take the unfair advantage of protect leg themselves and give warning it Is thus that the highly respectable person prevents her master and mis tress fron fro n being served by bad ants for every one must admit that it Is much better not to ba served at a 1 than by bad servants but the greatest of all the quail ties of the highly respectable per son Is the tact that she Is a dragon of virtue she has no followers that anybody ever saw or heard of nobody calls and asks to see her ghe at tk tl M receives no letters that are not in an unmistakable feminine hand nobody hangs about the gate and whistles and nobody has ever been seen to raise his hat to her look after her or pass her the time of day in going by perhaps however an even great er quality la that she wants no sun days or week days out except to go to church and although she la strict ly religious she sets her duty above all things and never demands her right when she thinks it would be in any way inconvenient to her mistress her mission in life Is to stick to her mistress as long as her estress will stick to her to do this thoroughly she has to read her mistress letters and woe betide the mistress who not being all that she might be attempts to part with the highly respectable person for the highly person Is as solicitous of the welfare of her mistress as she Is of her fel low servants to attain this end she is careful to keep her mistress up to her mark in the present deplorable state to which generations of women have brought the servant market the mistress is bound if not to shut her eyes at any rate not to look too close ly tor faults but this laxity does not suit the highly respectable person her motto is whom the lord loveth he chast eneth and the highly re spectacle spec table person has aggregated to herself the lole of social blister she tells her mistress all she does not wish to know but knowing must no tice she instructs her when the sieves were not scalded when the pots are not cleaned when the bread pan has been allowed to grow over full where half a pound of butter has been put away and forgotten and she leads her around the house to point out where the dusting has been skimped and turns up the rugs and carpets where yesterday s dust has been hidden in this way she fans her mistress into perpetual ar fare with her servants and poses with virtuous pride men who are unreasonable and know nothing of what Is good for them as opposed to the luxury of peace ind quiet are no respecters of servants who are highly respectable and act firebrands they advocate the casting out of the one highly respectable person and the beeping of the majority who are merely hu man beings who have followers and who want to go out regularly as they are entitled to do and they care 1 atle bow behave when they are away from home these are the lines upon which men conduct their businesses and this Is possible why their maggers their clerks and oth er employed emp loyes remain tor years in their service and work together in harmony laomen are always crying out against their servants does any lady or gen tieman want a highly respectable person with all the above addan agest I 1 know one at least whom I 1 shall be only too pleased to becom mend to any master or mistress who has not experienced such a luxury and I 1 promise to ask no questions copyright by funk Wag nalls co |