Show Page 32 — The Herald Journal Logan Utah Thursday November 16 1995 Psychologist s advice for bullied Use compassion courage or martial arts to avoid conflict MONTPELIER Vt (AP) — For the child who lives in terror of (he schoolyard bully — the taunts and threats the sticks and stones — psychologist Terrence Wcbstcr-Doyl- c has this advice: Don't get mad But don’t get even cither Instead use courage and compassion to avoid conflict altogether “If you can see through the roles and games that people play no one will be able to control you or get you to do things you don't want to do” said in his illustrated Web-stcr-Doy- text lc "Why is Everybody Always Picking on Me?” for bullies and the bullied alike “You will be able to relate in healthier and more intelligent friends with your tormentor agreeing with them or ignoring them (“This is an alternative that requires caution” Wcbstcr-Doyl- c writes) are timid fearful shy fragile weak and sorrowful They use self-pit-y and fear to make Victims people feel sorry for them The weakness backfires causing the victim to be singled out for more ways” And if that doesn’t work there's always martial arts “It doesn’t mean that one’s a doormat of course not” said Wcbster-Doyl- e a karate instructor for 30 years “If it escalates to the physical level the person has the trained skills to prevent harm to hold another person humanely” Dealing with conflict is best done holistically Webster-Doyl- e said His method has three components Alone they cannot prevail over aggressors Together they can do so without a brawl First you avoid the con- frontation in the first place — if you can “A fight takes two people” said “If you Webster-Doyl- e refuse to fight this can stop the bully from hurting you” Failing that try using humor to defuse the tension or making And if that doesn’t work karate can come in handy A combination of understanding reasoning and physical force should be enough to forestall a fight At least Webster-Doyl- e said it will save the small kid on the playground from getting a black eye g Bullying can cause damage agrees Maryjanc long-lastin- Cipcik health and welfare chairwoman for the National PTA The group includes “Why is Everybody Always Picking on Me?” in its publication “Safeguarding your Children” “Little things can truly lead into a lot of emotional despair for the children” said Cipcik an administrative assistant at Prairicvicw Elementary School in Battle Creek Mich “A lot of times the verbal confrontation can do just as much damage emotionally as the physical abuse” Webster-Doyl- e says his ods work for adults too meth- Often people bully others because they have learned — sometimes from their parents and teachers — that intimidation is a way to soothe their own fear Webster-Doyl- e said But mankind’s fear is outdated Most humans no longer have to compete for food shelter and clothing In general aggression is no longer necessary for survival he writes “I think mankind learned this behavior long ago and that we’ve been passing it down to each other generation after generation Is this behavior necessary today?” Bullies aren’t just schoolkids who demand lunch money from their smaller classmates says There are miliWeb-ster-Do- tary and political leaders bosses and criminals authority figures who abuse their powers “Our world has been run by bullies for thousand of years” Webster-Doy- le writes As there are bullies so too are there victims Victims are timid fearful shy fragile weak and sorrowful They use y and fear to make peofeel ple sorry for them The weakness backfires causing the self-pit- victim to be singled out for more tormenting he writes With this legacy of bullying behind us is there hope that mankind can ever form the peaceful and compassionate envisociety Webster-Doyl- e sions? The psychologist says yes Migrant prostitutes blamed for China’s growing AIDS epidemic BEIJING (AP) — They work of dimly lit hotel bars in drab beauty salons and along busy truck routes These workers in China's new service economy ply the world's oldest profession Many arc migrants drawn from the impoverished countryside to economically vibrant cities and health experts say they are playing a crucial role in carrying AIDS between city and village in soaring numbers “I came here because I don't out like the cold” a woman from bleak northeastern Heilongjiang province said She ir works out of a small grimy barber shop around the corner from one of Beijing’s big tourist hotels After making some money the prostitutes go back home an two-cha- AIDS expert with the World Health Organization said According to a survey of 267 female prostitutes in police detention centers in the cities of Beijing Dalian Nanjing and Xian about half came from out of town The 1993 survey — the first in China on AIDS and prostitutes — found that few of the women sold sex full time They resorted to the trade to augment meager incomes h or for the nearly unemlittle a to make ployed money to one-fift- survive Most reported on average monitor Jack panel Auto color FH remote hav- ing had less than five clients although one woman said she had had more than 100 Tang Wcihong the Beijing Union Medical College student who conducted the survey said thought the risk of infection was nonexistent or only slight Nearly half never used condoms although they are readily available and an additional 30 percent used them seldom or sometimes two-thir- ds GREAT GOBBLER lGIVE AWAY! w r-- Stereo ItCIVHS HO video Recorder w on screen Program on ProgrammaNe Franttoad saeen program Emote DSP $wuif(57g VHS Camcorder soNYHandycam Auto Aus feus Beefed 'ligfitweight 17 LB TURKEY FROM SMITHS FOOD & DRUG AUTO RESIDENTIAL COMMERCIAL FREE ESTIMATES Jcrxcnen’ SPcPOV ffAUTipGLA55 1209 N MAIN 8mmHandycam w steady Shot he no pat apes in home vet Specaiettcs Mr Smug ft&giai room ECU vra OKU STERCO’SYSTE Remote Stereo System l w Cassette SONY 100100 “J22S 100100 CD Ptayer watt Compact watt Pack system Stereo System wSUstaamjtr w 5 Disc CD Changer 100100 att Home stereo Rack system w Dolby £®5r?l Sound S SONY CD Player c: tJ by kenvtood satellite Stereo Receiver Subwoofer Speaker system wDoQyProLogic Surround i o a u Lrj t kJ fcT REOtCOMPONENTS r ML Proiotfc I?:-- CMC T:m Palm size i zx ALL YOUR CLASS NEEDS TE2-BBB- E record -- J with any Windshield Replacement SONY (HS w Digital Processing lightweight Use reguar vhs ape ncnAMFM vV ftus'lhr fePOMTZOOffl 1 camcorder axiom w HCI KENWOOD Dual cassette Deck i 13 mr 14-5- WE STOXtS CREDIT Lo S tKjf Pjvner Owil W WLL A?Y AD 100 Nort thru SAT 10 TO 7 pm LOGAN: 155 East HOURS: MON I Cfowmd Suntlty FEAT rr CE |