Show V n im U 11 g s 19 uM The Herald Journal '? vn JLj ' fc- !- Logan Utah Tuesday February 19 1985 W M — - ntimig U Here are a few pointers for people who want to test the waters before taking that big plunge 0 N By Paula Huff: staff writer t II you were suddenly endowed with 15000 what would your' first' thought be? Would you Immediately start Caribbean cruise? If so you might not be HfS planningto astart a family says Trida Thompson-Hanso- n ready community educator for Planned Parenthood ln?I lectureentitled “Am I Parent Material" Ms : Thompson-Hanso- n last week suggested prospective ' parents carefully examine several such cues before deciding to have children The talk was part of a free of lectures being sponsored by the Utah State m iseries University Health' Crater and Women’s Center each v Wednesday this month Called "Fertility Kites and : Wrongs” the series will continue tomorrow and Feb 27 with talks on female physiology and fertility Both sessions f 0wlll be in the Taggart Student Crater Room 227 at 12:20 r 1 -- J told the lecture Last Wednesday Ms Thompson-Hanso-n audience that people should consider the world’s condition and their own financial resources personal values and maturitylevels before launching into parenthood She added the most' important question people considering parenthood should ask themselves is: “Would I like to be ndsedbyme?"f'‘ ‘ to? s - The other considerations Including the financial ones are important too Ms Thompson-Hanso-n said These days nVrlt costs 1250000 to raise a child to 18 years of age she out Baby’s first year alone carries a price tagof 7 pointed about $7324 — more than one Caribbean cruise she pointed rat distributing a list of expenses connected with v birth and infancy Many prospective parents don’t realise 3 how expensive having a baby is she said "How many many to achieve financial success and professional ’Un people have considered : T : : &ii- the mother’s maternity asked the audience wardrobe?' Ms Thompson-Hanso- n She panted rat other first year costs include the mother’s and baby’s medical expenses and outlays for Items ranging from diapers clothing and food to furniture babysitters - : and baby pictures n-- i fM If prospective $ parents weed to think about dollars-an- d cents they alsd need to evaluate the condition of the world Ms Thompson-Hanso- n said "In a rail that was taken do you know what the major concern for teenagers was?" she asked "Nuclear war was their number one concern Teenagers are sitting around wondering if they are going to be able to grow up” Prospective parents also should examine their personal values she said pointing rat Planned Parenthood offers a course designed to help people do just that H earing for children seems like a tedious and boring job 10-we- provide themselves with help for their old age or to carry : v I n to Ms Thompsra-Hansoit is important to According divine just who is making the decision to have children "U a husband and wife drat agree on having children then there is a problem" she said She added prospective parents need to ask themselves not only when they want chOdren but if they want a family -- To get people to judge their maturity and to consider how children fit into their life plans Ms Thompsra-Hanso- n to draw time lines She Suested audience tomembers indicate the ages by which they professional training to jkfx on family traditions - : to make a permanent home and to attain a reasonable number of their fantasies and dreams "Did you see what I left out?" Ms Thompson-Hanso- n asked “Put in when you want to have your first child by" Suggesting that people planning to have children to said "Go expand their time lines Ms Thompsra-Hanso- n through your goals and put them down Determine 'If I had a ehUd at this age what would happen to my goals’" She said people’s motives for having children fall into four categories egotistic compensatory conforming and satisfaction Jf -- p ’ -- affectionate': who decide io biave children becaus thby feel People will produce "another Einstein’’ are prompted by they motives she said egotistic Those who plan a baby “as therapist" to Save their marriage or to fulfill other needs are propelled by compensatory reasons Couples who start families because of pressures from society or from their grandchild-hungr- y parents act from conforming motives she said Statistics from ‘‘The Parent Test’’ by Ellen Peck and Dr William Granxig show thaU satisified : parents “did conform somewhat" aerardlng to Ms Thompson-Hanso- n But she said the best motive for having children is the altruistic desire of people to give what they have to someone else fra the gratification of giving not receiving "When you can say I want to have children because I want the experience of loving more (you probably will become) v very satisfied parents" she Ms' Thompson-Hanso- n "A Baby Jfaybe" by suggested Dr Elisabeth M Whealan MD and “The Parent Test" to : anymie thinking about becoming parents Additionally people who are considering having children might get a realistic idea of what parenting u like by talking to people who’ve been there Two such sets of parents shared their experiences with The Herald JournaL Parents of daughter Claire Peggy and Harvey Neuber said they felt parenting has opened a new realm of emotion to them r - saidyf : Business p unishing motherhood Most women have little income protection utility-firNext week a analyst named Nicki will reluctantly leave her baby and return to work still feel trashed rat physically" she “I y She applied fra an additional says but her supervisor had to OK it — and didn’t “It’s either go back to work or lose my job” says the new mother At a small law firm down the street one of tiie secretaries who also just had a baby thinks Nicki is lucky: “I only got two m Rusty Brawn Syndicated coiimnist 30-da- leave-without-p- ay weeks paid leave” The difference in how these two companies handle a worker’s pregnancy is typical Across the country maternity-leav-e policies vary widely They are often arbitrary or vague — and many companies have no policy at all It is estimated that only 40 percent of employed women receive a disability leave for childbirth That proviso is the result of the Pregnancy Disability Act of 1972 a measure requiring companies to treat pregnancy as a disability if disability benefits are provided in other six-we- ek situations Payment varies however and is usually a percentage based on seniority Unfortunately the majority of women work for smaller companies that offer no fringe benefits so their pregnancies are not covered Only five states (California Hawaii New Jersey New York and Rhode legislaIsland) have temporary-disabilit- y tion giving short-terdisability payments to almost all working women m Social workers Sheila Kamerman and Alfred Kahn of Columbia University’s School of Social Work surveyed 250 companies and in a comprehensive report noted: “Most working women still have no — or very little — income protection at childbirth” Many women also face the worry that if they take unpaid leave for several months they might not get their jobs back What a contrast with most European countries where the minimum is 14 weeks paid leave In Sweden mothers receive 90 percent of their salaries for up to nine months Furthermore the "parent benefit" can be used by fathers too Kamerman and Kahn think it’s ironic that the United States one of the richest countries in the world lags in recognizing the importance of ensuring new parents and their infants a decent period for recovery and for launching their lives together it A survey by Catalyst — the and career agency monitoring family issues — shows that a handful of US companies are leading the way to superior maternity benefits CBS provides paid maternity leave and allows mothers or non-prof- at childbirth fathers to take up to six months unpaid leave with job reinstatement guaranteed American Telephone k Telegraph has a policy of eight weeks paid leave fra the mother and couples working fra the company can take up to a year of unpaid leave between them Some companies encourage women to e ease back into work over a month or two to help them adjust to their new life as working mothers Other firms are open to or part-tim- e employment But such employers are the exception Most women face two choices: returning to work in six to eight weeks or bowing out of the labor force fra a period of time Yet it is said that a woman’s interrupted work pattern is the primary cause of the 40 percent wage gap between men and women — a disparity that has barely changed in 40 years Some maternity-leav- e critics say it’s double talk for women to ask to be treated equally and at the same time ask for economic protection fra childbirth But attorney Brian Hembacher of the California Department of Fair Employment has argued that employers make Handiother special accommodations capped workers fra example are given equal access to the workplace full-tim- job-shari- ng When a woman seeks paid maternity leave all she wants is economic impunity not favored treatment Only in the American marketplace is motherhood a frequent cause fra punishment Having' their first child when they were both S3 the Neubers made "a conscious decision to become parents” Harvey said he discovered himself to be a “nurturer" after the birth of his daughter "I like to inter srt with my daughter to see her grow and change" Harvey said :Peggy was most surprised by the respraslMIity of “I didn’t expect to be on call constantly" she ssid “I I am really drat have a break even though I am away responsible fervhericare I- - was surprised " wasi"io:1(i' wv crarianL" " - Harvey bald althragh parenting hu taken away from' free time he does not feel compromised He admitted to having to put "somethings on the back burner" but claimed Claire takes a priority over those things Asserting she would not go back and not be a parent Peggy said she sometimes has doubts about whether she was doing a good job a parent but added the position has "filled her life with an element that it didn’t have ? u before” v v- Waiter and Rosalee Mueggler sre the parents of six children and the grandparents of two The lived in Bozeman Mont fra IS years before moving to the Cache : e Valley where they have Uved fra 10 years Married in a generation when people did not question whether they would have children Rosalee said she and: Walter married and started a family “because we wanted ' to have children'’ ? She eralalned parenting has brought many surprises to her and her husband: "I didn’t reaUxe l would be so nutty about them (the children)’’ she said commenting about one of the biggest of those surprises "I didn’t realize it would be a love affair" Walter said there are "a lot of trials and an awful lot of joy" in being a parent” And now that he’s a grandfather he sometimes wonders how he coped with it all: “When I am around little children I :r how in the world I ever raised six kids ’’ he said “I had forgotton how stressful young children can be" Soviet women put family life first NEW YORK (UPI) — Most Soviet women work outside the home but there is a swell of support for a return to more motherhood and homemaking according to an expert just returned from a special tour “My impression is that Russian women are cheerfully running backward” said Kate Rand Lloyd an editor at Working Woman Magazine She just returned from a Soviet tour hosted by the Soviet Women’s Committee “Although 90 percent of the women wort and also are the primary caretakers they are much more interested in family life than career and would love to just stay home and be housewives” The group that hosted the Americans is chaired by Valentina Tereshkova the first woman in space and has an appointed membership of 350 women — leaders picked from all the Soviet Republics and many areas of accomplishment Money for it comes from citizen contributions to the Soviet Peace Fund Lloyd was one of 11 Americans invited by the Russian group to discuss child care women in politics and pay - equity “Their magazine Soviet Woman" Lloyd laid “contains ’nature of women’ and the many articles on the bee that got into my bonnet was the terrible retreat from things we are trying to get” she says The “nature of woman” popped up frequently in discussions Lloyd recalled In mining country for example “the nature of woman” was the reason given for barring women from mining where they once were regulars on crews doing the dirtiest and most dangerous so-call- ed work That struck Lloyd as backpedaling in fields when Russian women race were welcome occupations in which American women have been battling male-dominat- toluudjobs ed |