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Show THE CITIZEN iiuiiniiiuiuitumtu l.llllllllW HHHHIIllllllll the great outdoors :ord at ti adg 20UDt EES Mike This, is a great coutnry, Pat. BASEBALL SEASON HERE Sophomore :What makes you think French history dates back to the time of Noah and the flood? Freshman Why, Joan of Arc was French, wasnt she? Town Crier. Pat And hows that? Mike Shure, th paper says yez can r bu a money order for three cents. San Francisco Examiner. seball season opens Tuesday MUCH NEARER THE TRUTH. A CHANGED MAN. The statement that one person out of every twelve is working for the government should read: One person out of every twelve is paid by the government. Milwaukee Journal. You see; marriage hasnt changed him at all. Hes as big a drunkard IIHIUHIIIUIIIIIUIIIIIUIUIIUIIIUIIIIIIUIIIIUIlllllllllll iiiiimi oil AN INVESTMENT. OBVIOUS. is; AND OAKLAND OPEN foive-dolla- nateh chin Tbe b; 8 Ik met rtatfc hodi tep d will be played between in-ialt Lai i: and the Oaklanders, the gan .e of the Pacific Coast league obe played in this city. Johnny Derks, Les Goates, our teve Maloney and Salt laaeball critics, vouch for the re- ake Be 's and according to their iorts to ihe fans we are going to have hummer of a team and one which rill mak-- a strong bid for first position al 3s. Tl I 80 at Bonneville park. The pening .:ame j: of N( - fternoo:- ( 1 80 Euro; j fthf ts, The fans have been patiently waiting the Busi-les- s or the opening of the season. )r to men are beginning to get cranky ansji ifter being held in the office all winter, and the ball season appears to be go the only remedy which brings a smile urge to the boss. The help gets away occalately sional1' to see the games and often it wort becomes a case of hide and seek beorce tween boss and employee, dodging :h e at the games. As a spring ski: iach other kimulator, baseball has any patent d by Wdicine skinned a mile. The fan cia: gets out in the open air, forgets all lturj business and mingles with the thrillers in the stands. The chain of thought is 8 so compeltely transformed from busihas ness to pleasure that the reaction be- din comes the best tonic for man, woman wbo .and child. Baseball is the greatest icise American game and it develops more )lett Icleancut athletes than any other game, lit :and the best business men we have in .the United States today, are not only M .baseball fans, but at one time were thrs - Of hid real players. If you have )fal fulld the to the gumps, sneak ball game and get cured. 1 WHO IS dui; If CAT fee: rati: 1st off WHO? FISHERMEN BEGIN MIGRATION TO UTAH LAKE host of catfishermen will leave the city tomorrow morning for Utah lake, T with the hope to fill their creels with jthe spiked fish. According to reports jthi? fishing is not good at the present time. April and May are the two best 1 months for cat fishing, but the weather Has been so unsettled that the fish a Have not come to the edge of the lake jSsyet. A few warm days, however, ought to make fishing good, providing they have not all been caught out by the market fishermen who for the past two years have taken tons of the fish out of the lake with seines and traps. ; A "The boys have been promised, how- tat ever, that if the ugly cat is the lak will be filled with f nott d id d-- k t caught out, game fish, as the bass and trout. The bst bait for the catfish is puch battfl I j large angle worm (night is found on lawns after , ' in all parts of IIOi No. 2207 COME TO THE FRONT. A novel plan is proposed to relieve the tragic congestion m down-towBoston, city of narrow and crooked streets. It is to separate cars into odd and even, using the last numeral of the license tag, and allow the .odds to come down town on odd dates, while the evens can visit and shop on even dates. Naturally, the proposition has met w th tremendous opposition on many grounds, to which the proponents of the idea retort that it is better to be allowed down town three days a week than no days at all, and that if something isnt soon done to relieve the traffic situation, a crjaplete prohibition of all auto traffic in the restricted crawler), nightfall the city. sTEirs WEEK, APRIL WHO IS WHO"? the 4-- . area w.ll result. What is Bostons problem in an acute stage is the problem of every road in embryo; it is already pressing on many main traveled roads. But the problem on the road can be met by widening the highway; Boston can not widen many of her streets without destroying herself in the process. The whole matter forms an educational exhibit of the most intense interest and vital import to all who are considering the building of a new road or the resurfacing or other improvement of an existing road; that it be built wide enough now, and with sufficient land acquired now, to permit still further widening when the traffic of the future demands it. as SPOILED HIS ILLUSTRATION. lecturer, aiming to make a telling point, said: Now, supposing I had a pail of water and a pail of beer and then brought on a donkey, which of the two would he take? Hed take the water, came a voice from the gallery. And why would he take the water? A temperance the lecturer asked. Because hes an ass, was the quick reply. Rock Island Rotary. 4-- So you want to marry my daugh- ter? What is your financial standing? Well, sir, Ive figured out every exemption possible ; Ive had the best legal advice that money would secure; Ive done everything I could do to dodge it and I still find that I can not escape paying an income tax. Boston Take her. Shes yours. Transcript. WHO? WHO IS EVANS & EARLY Funeral Directors 48 8outh 8tate 8treet Telephone Wasatch 6616 10 !3llllllllllllllltlllllllllll!lllllllllllllllillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!llillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllUl I I Louisiana Syncopaters THE COUNTRY'S GREATEST ORCHESTRA PLAYS IN THE DANSANTE Texas has the greatest total road mileage, 182,816 miles. New York Is first in population, with 10,385,227. Little Rhode Island is first in the ratio between population and Federal a!d road mileage, having 3,640 people per federal aid mile, against for instance Nevada, which has but 50 people per federal aid mile of roads. New York is first in taxable wealth, with more billions. New Hampsh're than 15 claims first place in state revenue from automobile, and truck, getting an average of $25.72 from each. California gives most money to its counties from its automobile license fees, with $3,785,055 to be spent on roads. Pennsylvania gets more per mile in federal aid than any other state, her takings per mile of federal aid road being 10 4-- 10 1 EVERY EVENING r,iiiiiiiiiiiiii:iiiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiiiiiiMiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii:ii:iiiiiiiiiiir- Have You Had a Meal at ROAD AID. BOOSTERS WEEK, APRIL SATISFACTORY. McAdoos manager that all the candidates bare their private lives. Not necessary. The matter will be attended to by others. Pittsburg Gazette Times. BOOSTERS WEEK, APRIL as he ever was. Yes, but he used to drink for pleasure; now Its from sorrow Sans-Gen- e (Paris-- . UNIQUE AUTO PLAN. n the league. n NEWSPAPER ASSOCIATION MEMBER, . THE NEWHOUSE HOTEL $50,000 Cafeteria A combination of elegant refinement, atmosphere and service. The finest Cafeteria Equipment in the United States. Table arrangement to seat 400. 100 employees at your service. BEST QUALITY FOODS AT POPULAR PRICES J. H. WATERS, Managing Director - |