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Show r Lakeside Review, Wednesday, August 23, 1989 Lakeside Helping the new student on the block adjust VALERIE PHILLIPS - Lakeside Review hen the school bell rings this fall, some students wont be filled with cheerful anticipation. These kids left their familiar teachers and friends behind when their family moved to the Lakeside area. Now they must begin a new struggle for social acceptance and aca'demic success. Moving to a new school can be either painful or rewarding, as portrayed in past teen movies such as Karate Kid and Footloose. Not everyone can become popular through karate talent or dance moves, but parents can do much to make the transition successful. It took a while to fit in, says Robin Chandler, who moved from Cedar City to Fruit last Heights as a ninth-grader . year. pretty hard to break into the social circles. The things that are acceptable are pretty v, ' f 'I - y; X ... ' John Nalder such as the jocks, the cowboys, the druggies, and the normals. Or they unknowingly violate one of the schools taboos. For instance, Layton High School has a group of cowboys. They even have a door coming into the school that is just for the cowboys to use, Nalder said. One student was mortified when her father dropped her off at school in front of the designated door, wailing, But thats for the cowboys! I cant go in visa-vers- d. get off to a good start - rigid. Basically I was the outsider. The kids are the type that all grew up together. But one girl was a really good friend to me. there! Most of her friends are the ones However, Nalder finds that in I went out with. most cases water seeks its own According to John Nalder, a level and if a child was a good Davis School District psycholostudent at his former school, gist, social and academic success within a short time hes doing A bad adjustwell at the new school. Or go which hes found in dealment can lead to problems. kids who transfer to anin left with If theyre being ing out, remake friends to other high school due to trying they behavbehavior problems. sort to attention-seekin- g ior that is undesireable. Their parents think if they Or in some cases students just change schools, it will be could fall in with the wrong different, Nalder said. But it crowd. takes about one trip down the Janet Gibbs, a counselor at hall and they find the same kind Layton High School, says, of friends they just left. Theyre Schools are very cliquey and comfortable with that value sysits hard to break in, so who ac- tem. While Kendall had no statiscepts you the most readily? L,ast year Gibbs initiated a tics on the number of new stupeer support program at Layton dents moving to the district, he were each acknowledged, that there are High where move-in- s quite a few. assigned a student to show them He said while the districts around and invite them to lunch. curriculum is fairly typical of The purpose of the program the rest of the U.S., the sizes of was related to drug and alcohol schools and classes are larger prevention, Gibbs said. The than in many areas. If theyre moving from Calreasoning was to intervene at first. They had a face they could ifornia, thats normal to have identify with at lunch or in the large classes. But if theyre comhall. ing from Minnesota, ConnectiBut since funds have been cut cut or upstate New York, theyre off, Gibbs isnt sure whether the in a state of shock. program will exist this year or Farmington Junior High counselor Susan Gleed said that not. Grade-schochildren usually with about 50 new families have an easier time fitting in moving in each year, Chances are the person sitting next to than do teens. The higher the grade level, you is just as new as you are. She adds that its much easier the harder it is, says Nalder. You get up to seniors in high if the student moves at the beschool and its pretty hard to ginning of the school year rather break into the social circles. The than in January or March. But with some elementary things that are acceptable are d schools switching to pretty rigid. Davis District Superintendent school, Nalder says, I dont Richard Kendall points out that know if well know who the new kid is or not. Since people the district has a very homogenous population. Thats a sur- moving to the area may not be d proprise to move from urban areas aware of the and find theres not a large Hisgram, Im sure when Septempanic population, or a large ber 1 comes, there will be a Asian or black population. whole flock of new students. Nalder said after living in Theres not a lot of ethnic or Canada and Iowa, hes found language or religious diversity. Yet a new student might be adjustment in Utah is pretty mystified at the various cliques much the same. hand-in-han- Help child You get up to seniors in high school and its Vv y t '' Jfci, & 8.3?? , VALERIE PHILLIPS 3 Lakeside Review 4 f The first day v. f f 4 in starting children off with the needed throughout life, according to the child development experts at the ' ce 1 - i5 ' n Na-tion- i Health. This is built upon good feelings about par-- , ents, authority figures at school, other children, and the childs ( ce J Vt, ;p y v self-wort- year-roun- year-roun- h. The Institute gives some tips for helping your child get off to a good start. Recognize that the first day of school is an important event. It is the first major separation from the secure and familiar world of home and family, and it marks entrance into a new world of friendship and learning that parents can never again en- 3 4. al Institute of Mental ' 'V tirely share. a, ol of school is a milestone in your childs life. Parents play an important role August MillerLakeside Its always nicer to have a friend to lean on when youre a new student attending a new school. Robin Chandler, a student People talk about the church influence here, but the kids themselves really dont notice the difference, he said. But its not like the old days when every Tuesday afternoon everyone in the whole school went over to Primary. So what can parents do to help avoid the new school blues? Portray a positive attitude about the move. Up to age 5, a kid reflects exactly what the parent says, Nalder said. If youre positive about the move and school situation, the child will be, too. Contact the districts public information office for a booklet of information about the schools and services offered. Attend the PTAs nigfit, which Kendall says are held at virtually every back-to-scho- ol school., Visit the school and meet the principal, secretary and counselors. Find out how the school operates grades, field trips, use of the library, etc. And look around to get an idea of what kids dress like, says Nalder. If at the last school, they all had a tail of hair hanging down their backs, or all wore shorts, you wont want to stick out like a sore thumb. Talk with the school counselor and get a schedule of classes offered, Nalder said. If he was in A.P. (advanced placement) English in his old school, he can get involved in those same classes and activities. That Review new to Farmington Junior High last school year, is ready to attend Davis High next week, along with her friend Cara Morgan., will get him into a particular group by the classes he takes. I like to see them get into a class like choir, with a ton of kids all doing something fun together, Gleed said. At Davis High, the Pep Club has immediate activities lined up and kids to go with. For elementary students, Nalder suggests rehearsing what will happen the first day. Ask, what are you going to do when the teacher asks your name and where you came from? If you practice, its not new and frightening. Make sure they know their new address and phone number, which is now part of their identity. A few days later, when school isnt in session, have the child show you around the school. He can show off his new territory to an important person, Nalder said. Grade level testing is available at the parents request. But both Nalder and Gleed advise against holding the child back a grade in elementary school. Generally, you dont want to change them from their chronological age peers, Nalder said. You run into social and developmental problems. If theyre in trouble they can transfer to a resource program or supplement them with tutorial services. Gleed adds that a struggling high school student can take less challenging courses, such as general math instead of algebra. Involve the child in community activities such as sports teams or dance classes. Its a good way to get acquainted, not only for the children but for the parents to meet other parents. Volunteer or help with school activities. The more closely the parent is involved in the childs education, the better the chances for success, Nalder after-scho- ol said. They know if theres a science fair coming up and can get the project started before the kids come home with a sheet of paper. They see the social interaction. If a child comes home beat me up, saying she knows who the kid is and can believe the story or not. Coach them in being outgo ing and confident. If you smile, people usually smile back, Gleed said A lot of time, kids who come in are so scared they look hostile and unapproachso . able. Make sure your child knows he can invite kids home to play after school,' so he can take the initiative at making friends. These invitations will usually be reciprocated, Nalder said, Otherwise he may wait all year for someone to invite him to their home. Keep the lines of communication open, especially with teens. If you cant talk to your Mom and your best friend is gone, thats a real killer, said Gleed. Adjustment is easier if the family is loving, supportive and encourages them to express themselves. r Learning to like school and liking to learn are closely related. Your childs first school experience can contribute to a good or bad attitude toward school in the years ahead. Explain what to expect and an swer all questions honestly. Children need to know the length of time they will be in school. A child may be anxious and needs to know details in order to handle the stress involved. Working parents should make certain the child knows the arrangements for before- - and : care. Convey a positive attitude about school. Make transportation plans clear. If he is to walk to school, walk the route together a few times before school starts. See if he can walk with other children from the neighborhood. If hell be taking a bus, help him identify it. Encourage older children to watch over the younger ones. Once the bus arrives, be direct; and allow the child say good-by- e board alone. to If he cries, try not to overreact; in most cases the tears will soon disappear. ' Give your child time to play at home. Now shes spending more time in a structured school you should allow free time for play. Get to know your childs teacher. Become involved in PTA, volunteer your services or check out ways you can help improve school conditions if you are unhappy with them. Praise your child tor good things he has done. There is more to be gained for accenting the positive. Treat school attendance as a normal course of events, something expected of your child and accepted by you. envi-ronme- Free education? Family may never know its meaning And then theres always the straw that broke the camels back. In this case, the financial pain of purchasing clothes and the $100 expense for five haircuts. We spent $400 on shoes alone, said Jill, who works e for the Internal Revenue Service in Ogden. But Jim says his wife is doing the best she can. BRYON SAXTON Lakeside Review Jim and Jill CLEARFIELD Judd of Clearfield may never know the meaning of a free public education. The Judds, who both work, have six children between the ages of 8 to 18 who will all be answering to one school bell or another come Aug. 28. Those children are Jennifer, 18, a Weber State College freshman; Bridgette, 16, a Clearfield High junior; Stephanie, 14, a at North Davis Junior High; Sean, 12, a seventh-gradat North Davis; Nicholas, at Doxey Ele1, a and Jocelyn, 8, a mentary; at Doxey. crunch Its the that hits them harder financially than the Christmas rush, he ninth-grad- er er sixth-grad- 1 third-grad- er er back-to-scho- ol says. This is the time were always going to save for and never do, said Jim, a captain for the Ogden City Fire Department. For school registration the Judds paid $76 for Bridgettes high school fees, which includes a $20 yearbook but no additional activity fee. High school activity fees can include athletic participation fees which range from $30 to We always try to anticipate the expense, but you never realize how much its going to back-to-scho- full-tim- be.1 Jim Judd a bargain goes, all the way from Spanish Fork to Ogden in search of school clothes for the kids, My wife is $40 per sport with an $80 maximum for the year. Other fees are $15 for club expenses and a $10 fee is assessed any time a student requests a Between the five Judd children hunt-er.,s- he he said. We always try to anticipate the expense, but you never realize how much its going to be, class change. The Judds also paid $31 each in registering both Stephanie and Sean for junior high. Stephanies school registration fee didnt include the $430 cheerleading fee she paid to cover the cost of her uniform or the cheerleading camp she attended. As for the two younger children, the cost of elementary school registration is free, while Jennifer is paying for her college tuition. But the expense of sending children back to school involves much more than the cost of registration and activity fees. ol he said. Jill said one of her strategies for school clothes shopping is to buy a few new clothes to hold off the rush, then wait until after Labor Day to catch fall sales to buy more expensive items such as sweaters and coats. But even with Jills keen shopping eye and the unselfish assistance of her six children, chances are Jim and Jill Judd will never experience the ever elusive free education. back-to-scho- ol Review August MillerLakeside Jim and Jill Judd and four of their six children. who will be attending school in the Davis School District more than $100 a month will be needed to pay for school lunch tickets. Lunch tickets for elementary school students cost 85 cents a day, while junior high and high school lunch tickets per day. I rather have them eating school lunch for a $1 than eating us out of house and home, Jim said. cost $1 And then there is also the cost of school supplies for the three older children, estimated by Jill to be another $100 at the beginning of the school year, You just cant buy any notebook, Jill said. f 5 |