Show Real child abusers don’t fit stereotypes By JOHN DeVILBISS Editor It could be a stethoscope around his neck or a clerical collar — it makes no difference Despite popular myths to the contrary child abusers cross all socioeconomic groups of people of both sexes and in nearly all age groups said Marilyn Sandberg coordinator of the Weber County Task Force for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse Sandberg speaking before a gathering of religious leaders at the Ogden Area Ministerial Association said people who think they can recognize a child abuser by physical appearance are fooling themselves it’s seldom possible She said the notion that fender is somehow “weird an ofor ugor someone people would naturally dislike is one of several myths surrounding offenders In reality an abuser is not a social misfit A person such as an incest offender “seems to function very well in society” she said They are manipulative and polished liars Abuse is usually considered a learned behavior since most child molesters were molested as children Consequently they learn from a very early age to lie mistrust deceive misrepresent and keep family problems secretive she said Sandberg said another myth is that molesters and abusers are mentally incompetent In reality a low percentage of bffenders ly” Larry StephensStandard Examiner Convicted sex abuser have mental problems — “they just have serious emotional problems” The age of offenders — thought to fall in the 18- - to category — is also a common myth she said Actual-la high percentage of offenders in this community involve juvenile age boys — “and were not just talking about curiosity" Sandberg said the county has recently dealt with several cases involving juvenile-agboys who have “seriously molested” younger children — some as young as 3 and 4 years old It is also a myth that most molesters are homosexual oversexed or lonely In reality many male offenders are married and have sexual relationships with their wives Often such men turn to their children to feed abnormal sexual desires and need for attention she said Most reported sexual abuse cases involve an adult male and a female child though many more male victims are now showing up in reports she said Another myth is that a child abuser is usually a stranger The truth is that 80 percent of all child abuse occurs in the home and 90 percent by “someone they know and trust” she said Sandberg said it is also a myth that children are frightened to discuss the topic of abuse Children are actually less frightened if they know what to do and how to report it eport child abuse or face justice rtant thing is the safety of 5m is that it is the needs e of the victims that are in in recent (reporting law) debate’ current law for prosecutors dearly understand the need for confidentiality in a religious eld re- - on text css I pc- - have no issue with clergy who work hard to protect the noeent victim and endeavor to get the perpetrator into treat-ihnicni I am concerned with aj- - to who have arrogated themselves the power to decide a situation needs profes-si- s 'tonal intervention These are the people who in fact by their actions support continued sexual and physical abuse and who — by their actions — condemn the 'lclim to a life of fear shame g jve whether jus a cd nal f ers der pril 19 1986 It takes little and isolation imagination to realize why a person in those circumstances might want to take their own life I have been asked if my strong stand in this matter might adversely affect my relationship with a parishioner who is an abuser My response is that my strong stand has enabled more than one victim to come to me seeking help knowing that in me they have a strong friend and advocate Interestingly until my strong stand in this matter became known I had not been approached by a victim in 15 years of ministry I ask your help as advocates for children I am asking your help in educating the clergy of this state about the reality of child abuse and neglect and to enlist their aid in the fight against this demonic and destructive disease Many of xou arc aware that legislation has been adopted — called Senate Bill 65 — which purports to protect the churches claim to privileged communication between penitent and cleric Under this legislation an exemption is granted to clergy only within a very limited confessional definition By such narrow definition the more therinformal apeutic spiritual counsel now given by clergy will no longer be exempt in practice In other words pastoral counseling is not exempt from the requirements of the Reporting Act I believe there is good and bad here Those of us who are already aware of the law and who hold the needs of the victim before the needs of the perpetrator will have no trouble no matter the form of the legislation But clergy who believe that they have the right to decide who should get treatment and who is really sick or not they are going to find themselves liable to prosecution Heretofore those informal therapeutic pastoral counseling modes of interaction have had the protection of precedent Senate Bill 65 has now removed from them that privilege I feel so strongly about this isthat I intend to work with prosecutors therapists and law enforcement officials to see that the narrow provisions of this law are enforced In other words I feel so strongly about the desperate plight of the abused child that I will support the prosecution of those clergy who will abuse their constitutional privilege and protection I strongly encourage those of you who are active in a religious community to speak to your ecclesiastical leadership and help them to understand their duty as well as their very narrowly defined privilege under the laws of the State of Utah sue on ‘leave’ Religious News Service NEW ROCHELLE NY — The Rev Nathaniel Grady convicted on child sexual abuse charges quietly read to members of his congregation a letter requesting a leave of absence as their pastor Grady whose attorneys plan to file an appeal in his case as soon as he is sentenced May read his formal request to his bishop for a leave of absence at St Methodist United Luke's Church here during the regular morning worship service last Sunday About 50 members of the congregation were present for Grady's final sermon before going on leave "I do this with a heavy heart” said in the letter to Bishop Dale White of White Plains NY who heads the New York Annual Conference of the Unit- ed Methodist Church The letter also expressed appreciation for the “consideration and support” he said he had received from the bishop a review committee that has monitored the case the conference’s ministry board and the relacongregation’s tions committee “I trust there will be a time when I will have the privilege of serving (St Luke’s) again” said Grady’s letter He indicated that he was "still seeking justice” in the appeals process minister has The repeatedly asserted that he is innocent of the offenses He was found guilty of sexually abusing five children in a day care center located in a Bronx church where he was pastor in 1984 but is expected to remain free on bail pending appeals Several women worshipers wiped their eyes during Grady's reading of his letter to the bishop but the mood of the service was calm Members know that Grady may not return as their pastor especially if he docs not w in his appeal of a Bronx court's guilty verdict The Pastor and several members greeted each other with embraces after the service he A small choir sang the gospel anthems “The Storm is Passing Over Hallelujah” and “He Knows Just How Much You Can Bear” during the worship service without preaching Grady notes from the Gospel of John talked about Jesus’ doubting disciple Thomas and told the congregation “I like him perhaps because my middle name is find in mjsclf Thomas and something of his personality” Ogden Standard Examiner Church News 7 |