Show EVIDENTLY Indignant Fault to OUT PUCE OF ARRESTING Frenchman Had 8om Find With Postmaster and Said So A Frenchman with a name spelled a la Paris and pronounced something like had never learned to read or write but he managed to disguise the fact pretty well until he moved to a new community where the name was not common Going to the postofflce one morning he Inquired: "Got any mail for Joe the name?’’ Inquired “What's clerk Joe "How do you spell it?” "Can’t you spell Joe "No” said the clerk "I it before” Then the the 1 never heard disgust of the Frenchman which had been constantly rising boiled over and he snorted: "Well if you can’t spell why don’t you sell your old postofflce to some one that can?” Appointed Day of Judgment A in an English town tad lent a horse to a solicitor who the animal through bad usage The dealer insisted on payment and the lawyer refusing cash said he would give a bill for the amount but lx must be at a long date The lawyer drew a promissory note making it payable on the day of judgment An action was raised and the lawyer asked the sheriff to look at the bill Having done so the sheriff replied: "This is the day of Judgment I decree ou to pay tomorrow” killed Point for Sherlock Holmes Somebody wondered how long a certain woman who had Just left the room had been married “About 15 years” said the jeweler “How do you know?” asked the Jeweler’s wife “You never saw her until tonight” "I can tell by the ding ring” he replied her size of wed- “The width of wedding rings changes about every five years The kind she wears was In style 15 years ago” Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of UASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for infants and children and see that it Bears the Signature of Use For Over 30 Years Children Cry for Fletcher’s Castoria In A Dead One "The doctor says that I will about a year” “That will be a great change You” T - “What will?” "Living” Wasted Energy Nimrod (Just back from —I got this string in less ’ hour Nimrod’s live for fishing) than an Wise Wife — There’s than that John store nearer a fish Precaution Chimmie — Hey hold dis Maggie bag o’ peanuts fer me fer a minute— here comes a poor relation o’ mine!— Life Melancholy Fact Man is weak That is why he invests in a cantaloup when he knows the chances are ten to one against him — Toledo Blade FREE ADVICE TO SICK WOflEH Thousands Have Been Helped By Common Sense Suggestions Women suffering from any form of female ills are invited to communicate promptly with the woman's private correspondence department of the Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co Lynn Mass Your letter will be opened read and answered by a woman and held in strict woman can A confidence freely talk of her private illness to a woman thus has been established a confidential correwhich has extended over spondence many years and which has never been Never have they published a broken testimonial or used a letter without the written consent of the writer and never faas the Company allowed these confidential letters to get out of their possession as the hundreds of thousands of them in their files will attest Out of the vast volume of experience which they have to draw from it is more than possible that they possess the very Nothknowledge needed in your case ing is asked in return except your good will and their advice has helped thousands Surely any woman rich or poor should be glad to take advantage of this generous offer Adof assistance dress Lydia E Medicine Co Lynn (confidential) Mass Every woman ought to have Lydia E Pinkham’s Text Book It Is not a book for as it Is too general distribution It is free and only expensive obtainable by mail Write for it today : Tta Good Beet Cough 8rup ia tims Sold by Drofftifte Um HEmHEEEnH FLIGHT OF TIM German Sclentlats Advise the Eating of Egg Sheila by Those Who Approach Old Age ‘aoTWENTIEThr ' soMojNNUAt SALT MEETING" LAKE CITY' SALT LAKE THE MECCA OF THE IRRIGATORS Salt Lake City — The capital of the state of Utah which owes more to rigation than any other state In the union is the Mecca of thousands of visitors The occasion Is the National Irrigation Congress the opening session of which was held Monday morn30 The city is in ing September gala attire was flags and bunting In while myriads of electric profusion lights turn night into day Twelve thousand persons a thousand of them delegates from all over America and even from foreign countries thronged the Tabernacle Monday for the opening session of the twentieth National Irrigation Congress The program for the official opening comprised many musical numbers by the grand orchestra Tabernacle and choir the augmented organ Speeches were made by Senator of Nevada president of the congress and by George A Barstow of Texas former president Brief addresses were also made by the Queen of Irrigation and George A Snow chairman of the Utah hoard or con- trol entire is estimated at more than and about 4000 persons participated in tho great march As the attenance of delegates and note exceeds that probably persons oi of any session of the congress held heretofore tho ceremonial and entertainment features were on a more pretentious scale than ever before attempted The musical program includes sev 120000 Salt Lake City— The annual state fair opened here Monday 5000 people passing through the gates the opening day This year's fair in every department any exposition in the history of Utah Superintendents of various divisions report increases In exhibits in their departments in some cases running as high as 75 per cent and in no instance below 25 per cent War in Balkans Threatened and Mandot Matched Wolgast London — Only a tiny spark now apMemphis Tenn— Joe Mandot of New pears necessary to explode the Balkan Orleans regarded the best lightweight element for in the south Every powder magazine and Ad Wolgast chams tremendous upheaval seems ready pion of lightweight division have been Seven European armies are now under matched to meet In New Orleans Noor calling In reserves mobilization vember 2 Bryan Rests in Wyoming Rawlins Wyo — William J Bryan arrived here early Sunday and rested most of tho day at the home of John E Osborne chairman of the DemoThe cratic state central committee Nehraskan made no political speeches BABY IN MISERY WITH Sets New Hammjrthrow Record New York— Matt McGrath world’s champion hammer thrower added a new world’s record to his string Sun day at Celtic park He threw the hammer wilh unlimited run and follow 191 feet 5 inches temper As they entered the little village a large dog ran at one of the party The ferocious look and was dog had But the fisherman barking furiously did not take much alarm at the aniHe mal just kicked it away carelessly "Aren’t you afraid he’ll go for you?" inquired another of the party somewhat anxiously The one who had kicked at the dog looked at his companion in a sorrowful manner "I only wish he would!” he replied "I’d chance almost anything to he able to go home and say I'd had a bite!” Like lT Got This Fine Pipe With Liggett ' & Myers Duke’s Mixture” All fiinds of men smoke Duke’s Mixture in all kind of pipes— as well as in cigarettes — and they all tell the same story They like the genuine natural tobacco taste of w A RASH Monroe Wis — “When my baby was six weeks old there came a rash on his face which finally spread until it got nearly all over his body It formed a crust on his head hair fell out and the itch was terrible When be eral selections by the augmented would scratch the crust the water choir orchestra and organ the feawould ooze out in big drops On face ture of which were the rendition n and body it was In a dry form and McClellan’s ‘Ode to Irrigation” rewould scale off He was in great mis hearsals for which have been In pro- ery and at nights I would lie awake gress many weeks holding his hands so that he could not The (National Irrigation Congress scratch and disfigure himself I tried held its first session in Salt Lake City simple remedies at first then got on September 15 1891 and the pres medicine but It did no good ent session Is something in the nature “Finally a friend suggested Cutlcura of a week for many oi Remedies so I sent for a sample to the delegates see what they would do when to my Delegations from various states and surprise after a few applications could see an improvement cities began to arrive late Saturday and he would rest better and continuing through I bought a box of Sunday Each Cutlcura Ointment and a cake of Cutladditional train Incoming brought cura and before I had them half Soap delegates and the hotels were soon filled almost to capacity Among the used my baby was cured His head is to arrive Sunday now covered with a luxuriant growth larger delegations of hair and his complexion is adwas the party from El Paso and other mired by everybody and has no disTexas points which traveled in a speMrs Annie cial car They were headed by Rep figurements” (Signed) resentative W R Smith chairman ot Saunders Sept 29 1911 Cutlcura sold Soap and Ointment the house committee on irrigation Senator Francis G Newlands of Ne- throughout the world Sample of each Skin Book Address vada president of the irrigation 'con free with “Cutlcura L Boston” Dept gress arrived Saturday night Gov- Adv ernor Oddie of Nevada arrived Sunday and Governor Hawley of Idaho Wanted a Bite and Governor Carey of Wyoming came Oh yes it was raining — had been In Monday morning Among the of- all day But they didn’t mind that so ficers of the congress who was not much you see they were fishermen able to attend Is R Insinger of SpoAll the same they were trudging kane Wash first vice president who home with weary steps and very is reported to be faces Their baskets were empty and to WATER USERS ORGANIZE be candid they were in a very bad The queen and her maids of honor were escorted to the Tabernacle from the Commercial club by Governor William Colonel Spry and his staff James A Irons and staff Mayor Samuel C Park the city commissioners and the board of governors and members of the Commercial club As suggested In the official speech Demand That Control of Water be of President Francis G Newlands Transferred From Government to United States senator from Nevatit Users and echoed In the preliminary discusSalt Lake City— Those water users sions of the delegates the twentieth on reclamation federal will In Include its Irrigation congress projects who deliberations the most extensive plan have been meeting in Salt Lake to for control of America's of the National water supply perfect organization in the broadest sense ever contem- Federation of Water Users associations demand that control of the water plated by a public body Revision of lands laws and home- thereon be transferred from government agents to the settlers themselves stead acts to check the tremendous drain of capital and citizenship now and that provisions be made so that settlers movemay own water as well as resulting from the emigration ment to Canada is another vital ques- land These demands are incorporated with others which criticise adtion to be considered by the congress Never In the history of Salt Lake ministration of projects by governhas there been presented a more bril- ment agents and ask greater rights liant scene than that which marked for water users In resolutions adopted Monday by the and electrical the grand parade water users pageant of the National Irrigation Con- Government agents on reclamation gress Monday night Not only was projects are charged with extravagance and waste the pageant gorgeous and satisfying to the spectators who thronged the The adoption' of resolutions and streets but the story of Irrigation was election of officers on Monday wound up the first annual convention of the The Industries realistically depicted resulting from irrigation were splen- National Federation of Water Users associations didly unfolded to view E'arl B Smith of Yuma Ariz was There were more than 300000 varieties of decorations used in the en- named president of the federation and tire column and over five tons of real chairman of the executive committee E 0 of and various Farnbam fruit vegetables Newell S D is products and G and exhibits The electrical wiring the secretary E Rodman of used was more than 6000 feet in Sunnyside Wash the treasurer The officers All scenes were hand painted with Scott Etter Carlsbad length every flower used was either grown or N M and Fulton H Sears Fallon Nev the made here and more than 200 pounds executive commitcomprise of nails wero used to fix various arti- tee cles in place UTAH STATE FAIR A SUCCESS The cost of tho parade and pageant Two Germans deep thinkers — Professors Emmerich and Loewe— state that egg shells eaten Increase the power of resistance against “the withering blight of time” add weight to the body activity to the brain and trength to the heart that they destroy injurious bacilli prevent inflammation and disease and lend courage and energy This reminds me Philip Ilaie writes in the Boston Herald of the preparation advertised In London thirty or more years ago as removing superfluous hair being an excellent substitute for table butter none genuine unless stamped on the blade Eustace Miles the English court tennis player and vegetarian sayB he had an old nurse who used to eat egg shells and crunch them Joyfully between the teeth that happened to meet and she said she ate the Bhells because they “Bhaved the hair off Inside of the throat” The discovery of the Gorman scientist is peculito dwellers arly welcome the by ocean for it is a well knowu fact that if you do not break egg shells the Witches will put out to sea in them to wreck vessels and if you burn the shells the hens will cease to lay Furthermore as eggs are now absurdly high — evon case eggs —In the neighborhood it seems a pity to waste any part of them Choice bright leaf aged to mellow mildness carefully stemmed and then granulutcd— every grain pure tobacco— that’s what you get in tho Liggett Gf Myers Duke's M ixture sack You get one and a half ounces of this pure mild delightful tobacco unsurpassed in quality for Ac— and with each sack you get a book of papers fee Now About the Free Pipe Inevervsack otLiggett & Myers Duke’s Mixture we now pack You can exchange these coupons for a pipe or for many acoupon other valuable and useful articles These presents cost not one There is something for every member of the penny catcher's gloves tennis rackets cameras toilet articles suitcases canes umbrellas and dozens of other things Just send us your name and address on a postal and as a special of fat daring Sap will tambar and October tend you oar new illustrated catalogue of preaentt FREE of any charge Open up a sack of Liggttt $ My are Duke’s Mixture today Commons from Duke's bfircturo may hi assorted frith tars from HORSE SHOE NATURAL LEAF! JT TINSLEY'S GRANGER TWIST and Coupons from' FOUR ROSES (!0c ttn double coupon) PICK PLUG CUT PIEDMONT CIGARETTES and CUX CIGARETTES other tags or coupons issued by us onyun Premium Lg d rr fCt N C Durham WL DOUGLAS SHOES 300 350 400 450 Mushrooms Paradoxical Ballot Many a a woman would a party right but trying to Tuff’s Pills The dyspeptic the debilitated whether from excess of work ol mind or body drink or ex — posure In MALARIAL REGIONS will find Tutt’g Pillc the most genial restorm tive ever offered the suffering invalid FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS If you foci “out of sorts— “run down’offot tb bluet "buffer from kidney bladderncrvousditteaRaw chronic weaknesses nicer akin eruptions piles book tor my in t bo most Instructive medical book over wrhten It tolls all about throwdittcaNCft&ndthoremarkahloctircserTmedbvLheNew rench Horucdy TH It A F I O S' No No nd you can decide for yon f it Is remedy for cent It’s abaohitel your ailment Dont send rHKHJ No”fllowup"rin-nlaervMeC Co Haverstock ltd Hampstead UIm ksf it be hav- the right keys” nlf It Depends Do you think a wife should go through her husband's pockets?” Alln tl urimNiiv’ourehl Yes — if there's anything in ’em' I lrSorofulonfrieer lrle m ESt “Wait “Well of t Unfitting till I hobble please don’t the lawn” horse' my do People who are crippled get less sympathy than any ples It rouu l leers boo art cone hlteNw tler LeffisverSoreiigsiiolRiMniii fnw J p ALLEN iMsp it on the in the other head RrviiiWw tit Paul Minn LADIES AND GIRLS Bp1" '?rnln uiooeycollertingname addresses No canvass! op pull Instructions to cum no and stamps Mrs WinslowSoothing Syrup for Children teething uoftens the gums reduce inflammation allays palu cures wind colic 26c a bottle Adv would be wiling to husband for a alimony Might may overcome never destroy It can Groping What is Miss Hammerah play on the piano?" “ ‘In the Shadow’ ” “I thought she seemed to ing some difficulty in finding voting skirt The Language “I’m going to whip that child” “No you're notl It’s my child Now beat it!” trade 500 Wife Almost Entirely “DicK” Quay at the Congress hotel in Chicago was talking about a notorious politician "And he’s worth eleven millions” Mr Quay ended “And is an entirely man too I believe” said a correspondent "'’Entirely so” Mr Quay answered "except for nine thick coats of w hitewash that have been applied to him by various investigating committees" A AND MEN AND WOMEN Boym w oar W L Douffes 0200 $2BO A 0300 School ( Shorn bmoauae one pair will pom ll Irmly outwear two pair ot ordinary homo nemo a tho mon’a ahoaa WLDougias makes and sella more $300 $350 & $400 shoe than any other manufacturer in the world THE STANDARD OF QUALITY FOR OVER 30 YEARS The workmanship which has made W L Douglas shoes famous the world over is maintained in every pair Ask your dealer to show you WL Douglas latest fashions fer fall and winter wear notice the ahort vamps which make the foot look smaller points in m shoe particularly desired by young men Also the conserva tlvo Stylet which have made W L Douglas shoes a household word everywhere If you could visit W L Douglas large factories at Brockton Mass and nee for yourself how carefully W L Douglas shoes are made you would then an derstand why they are warranted to fit better look better hold their shape and wear longer than any other make for the price yaat Cyolata CAUTION— To protect too against inferior those WL Douglas stamps his name on Hie hot Look for tho stamp tons Bowara of substitutoe W L Douglas shoos are sold ia 78 own No matter whore you lire they are within your reach stone and shoe dealers srerywhers If pour dealer cannot supply you write direct to factory for catalog showing how te order bymaiL Shoes sent every wboro delivery charges prepaid WLDouglae Brockton Maes FOR Thoughtful As they emerged from the subway “Think I'll go to the ball game tostation they were confronted a by giant skyscraper rising into the blue day" All right Is there a telephone at “What building is that?” she asked the grounds?” not being an habitue of the downtown “There’s one near there Why?" district “I don’t know” he replied “If the home team loses I want you She looked at him In surprise this to me so that can take quarter of New York being his daily the telephone children and over mother’s to go locale “No” he insisted wearily “I until you get your temper back” doh’t know It wasn't there yesterday’’— New York Press “I should think the women in the new suffrage states strike one obstacle” "What is that?” r“How can the matrons of cast their maiden vote?” Dept lnA Mwenktili luieeia EX— RECIPES and rare old Indian andl fortijrn herb secrets fn ’Hrb Doctor Reclp Rook" 10c lud Herb Gardens Bx Haiu niond Ind Pettits Ev&Salve FOR SORE ALL EYEtt- crip- W N U Salt Lake City No For Headache Nervousness and Backache dueio disorders of Kidneys and Bladder PUTNAM FADELESS DYES S Colormoregoodabrighterandfastercolorsthananyotherdye dye any garment wthont npptng apart Wnte for free One 10c package colors all ow to Dye Bleach fibers Thevdve and Mix In HON BQiTte u fatS? HU |