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Show OPINION WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21, 2004 How to turn a woman off ...and on Newspapers Men. you are going me for this column. too to thank Women, Because in the course of researching the latest pertrends - as any serious learned journalist must from a bona fide scientific institute the three smells that most turn women off. fume I Ready? acted to inhibit female and Research Foundation in Chicago. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Hirsch! For, while the number of men rubbing themselves with cherries andor spare ribs is not large (although if you ride the subways, you know they're out there), the number of misguided men still slapping themselves with cologne is legion. Now at last they know: It is time to stanch the stench. Why do these three particular scents make women turn up their noses, lovewise? Hirsch's theories are not Perhaps, the smell of cherries reminds women of the medicine they took as children. Yuck. Perhaps charred meat reminds them of cooking Yuck. And perhaps, he says, "Cologne reminds them of going out wath men Yuc ... " mean a smell that reminds a woman that she's going out with one of them again - you know, a man - is enough to doom a date? Well, says Hirsch, who has , also spent grownreal-life- up, paid-fo- time discovering r that the scent of certain candies arouses women: "My advice for men is to get rid of the cologne and buy a box of Good & Plenty." Now, it takes a man who innately intuits the food connection to even think of exploring the maribread tal happiness-garliconnection. And that's exactly what Hirsch did. In a study recently conducted by his institute (and it's not that I didn't interview real perabout fume companies sex-jun- k c see Enroll SMELL page Now Classes "'Begin in . . March . Dental Assisting "Medical Assisting Pharmacy Technician Medical Dental Office Management Ophthalmic Assistant -- j jDental Lab Technician Denture Technician j j Massage Therapist? Provo ffrtify j Financial Aid Available to Those Campus .Who Qualify AMERICAN INSTITUTE technology l 435 652 0900 - - 19 EDUCATION continued from PAGE 4 Understanding the entire scope of education will promote thoughtfulness. During required courses, facts and figures are taught and tested and are easily forgotten, but general education seems to carry many underlying objec- tives. People with a liberal education are better communicators, said Professor Jack Heppler. They take more continued from PAGE 4 is education General geared toward sparking an interest in learning about new things. The fact that general education is a requirement simply proves that someone in the world understands the imporof tance diversity. Remaining thoughtful and accepting throughout our lives may prove less diffi Many are pushing for $50 million more to fund states' contraceptive programs. Sen. is also Max Buucus, in million for $50 pressing new "safe sex" funding. Del., Let's not forget that all of this would come atop the $1.73 billion we're already spending on this type of sex education. all of these of an interest in world events and in all the facets of learning, rather than those who do one thing all the time. "abstinence plus" programs don't give that message. ADVICE Worse, Surgical Technician OF mfdical-denta- ) be the only guy studying tins, so - weh suck with him. You Can Have a Career Irt.,9 Months or Less! . O You sexual arousal," reports Dr. Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment . MAC 5 wha? Cherries. Barbecued meat. .And cologne. "Ail A fOR POCt o& HCtPS THM vJHlie U&AUNO Whh HOs AfV AVMfRACrice HuAad-- -- what you'd call ultra deep, but then again, he seems to by Lenore Skenazy Knight Ridder DIXIE SUN pro- grams, and many others, play off the popularity of abstinence education by claiming to be "abstinence plus." But in reality, they focus on the "plus' and almost entirely ignore abstinence. While more than 90 percent of parents want teens to wait until they are at least out of high school before having sex, safe sex or contain sexually explicit material that shocks many parents. For example, in the government-- program "Focus on Kids," middle- - and high school students are told about the joys of bathing together, watching sexually explicit movies together and reading erotic books and magazines. The "Be Proud! sponsored Be Responsible!" program promoted by the Centers for Disease Control asks teens to "think up a fantasy using condoms" then "use condoms as a method, of foreplay." Kids as young as 13 are taught to "act sexysensual" while putting on condoms. "Becoming a Responsible Teen," also pushed by the CDC, ironically gives students instructions that are likely to make them behave cult with a broad understanding of the many facets These of education. requirements may seem pointless and useless, but in truth, when is gaining knowledge ever pointless? There are values in life that don't involve making money, said Payne, and understanding how the world works through general education is indispensable. General education probably wont help to earn a dime, but it's guaranteed to enrich your life. The program has teens practice putting a condom on a plastic phallus and encourages them to scrounge around the house for a sexual lubricant "B.A.RT helpfully suggests grape jelly, maple syrup and irresponsibly. honey. Clearly, any abstinence message children might happen to hear in these programs is overwhelmed by their real message: "We expect you to have sex, but please use a condom when you do." We're putting our money in the wrong place. Instead of investing heavily in contraception and sexual education programs that send the wrong message to teens, we ought to spend more encouraging those teens to wait until they're older to have sex. After all, when they do, the news is better for them and for us. -- |