Show WHEN YOU'RE FEEiING "wsx-e&qr-" (TENSE IRRITABLE HEADACHY) Our columnist picks the Unsung Heroes of 1959 The city slicker at a country auction who found the auctioneer’s daughter utterly captivating Every time she smiled and nodded to him he smiled and 1 the psychiatrist "I’m afraid to” admitted the lady "He keeps threatening to trade me to Kansas City” a Q The little girl at a progressive school who confided to her classmate My mother went into a deep depression when I was born” "Why” asked the other "did she want a boy?” "No” admitted the first "she wanted a divorce” 8 The bartender who's in- vented a new cocktail called “ The Ark" It's for people who can't say “Noah" nodded back After the auction he discovered he had purchased a pair of mules a churn and an electric milking machine 2 The misunderstood Hollywood gallant who finally learned how to shift gears in a Volkswagen without getting l his face slapped 3 The warden of a state penitentiary who had a ready explanation for the third jail break in a month "Keep your shirt on” he urged the Governor "It was a mere slip of the pen” 10 The brokerage clerk who admitted to his folks "Since I’m married I’ve really learned how to meet expenses My wife introduces them to me" 1 1 The newspaper linotype op- erator who never can set up a story properly but who is so neat and polite nobody wants to fire him He’s known as Little Lord Wrongfontleroy 12 The J P Marquand hero who kicked a football dear into the grandstand at a Ilar- - 0 4 The eager scanner of maps who has located these fascinating towns right here in the USAI Noahs Ark Near Miss Fiveand Tenn Dinah Mo and Whis Ky - 0 Phil Silvers who discovered that "frequent naps quch as when you’re driving a car keep you from getting old” Hoy vard-Dartmou- tho "BAYER BREAK" makes you feel better fast! 1 First taks two Bayer Aspirin for your headache 2 3 Then relax Sit down Q The youngster who found a salamander in his back yard and put it into a tank with his pet alligator The alligator promptly swallowed the salamander “ Something aufufs happened " wailed the youngster to his mother‘ “Sally's in put your feet up and rest for a while rest plus Bayer Aspirin so fast you’ll be on the go again This brief t have you feeling better In practically no time Try Itl will ’ our alii!" Take a “Bayer Break” next time you feel headachy worn down tense and irritable from the hot sun and high humidity See for yourself how in just a few minutes you can feel like a new person! BAYER 7 The indignant lady who charged into a psychiatrist’s office and demanded "You’ll have to take my husband in hand He’s convinced himself he’s a manager and keeps throwing baseballs at me” "Order him to stop” suggested BRINGS FASTEST RELIEF game th For him it was the punt of no return Tha Last Straw The little girl who listened faithfully while her mother went on and on about the way young ladies should conduct themselves "You’ve been most attentive” approved Mama finally "You tell me: where-dbad little girls go?” The daughter wiped away a tear and sighed big-leagu- e the fastest most gentle to the stomach relief you can get from paint THIS WKK N I "NT1 Mogl July 19 19S9 |