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Show Get ready to swat the fly. " Vassar college Is 50 years old, but doesn't look It. Dead artists are appreciated, while the living are ignored. Fishhooks are ripe, and you can dig tiait while, spading the garden. A baseball team's winning stride will do it no good if it never strikes it. Farmers should welcome the aeroplane. aero-plane. They won't have to turn out for it. The strawberry always makes good In the shortcake. It is the national berry. So if you go to the coronation, you cannot watch the baseball games here at home. The shrinking violet has plenty of cause to shrink or even to shrivel if It prefers to do that. A Chicago doctor has found dangerous danger-ous microbes in the whiskers of cats. Don't kiss your cat. "Let a woman have the last word," Bays one of our jurists in advising mere men. Superfluous advice. Berlin boasts of a talented canine who can talk. His education is probably prob-ably progressing in dog Latin. Another kind of optimist is the man who expects to find the garden trowel and rake where he put them last fall. A Newark (N. J.) attorney Is suing for $500 for his services in reading a bundle of love letters. . Cheap at that. It is estimated that over $5,000,000 will be spent by Americans at King George's coronation. Why not have it over here? Wealthy men cannot always do as they please. A judge wouldn't allow Cornelius Vanderbilt to cross his legs in court. We agree with the police that a burglar who upset a lighted lamp 6houId be tried for criminal carelessness careless-ness ,at least. A friend of E. H. Harriman says it was thinking in bed that killed him. And where else do any of us get a chance to think? Litigation over a $17,000 estate in New York cost J13.000, and now they are wondering how the lawyers over looked the $4,000. A California judge declined to recognize recog-nize poker as the great American game. It goes on, however, without judicial recognition. Mme. Rique, the prophetess, says that the breath typifies the spirit. And 6he might add that cloves don't seem to make much difference. An Iowa man Is out with a demand that all dogs be killed. Perhaps he didn't know of any other way of attracting at-tracting attention to himself. An American actress has become the wife of an Egyptian prince, and will have some justification for it if she wishes to wear a harem skirt. The secretary of the treasury is in favor of discontinuing the coinage ol $2.50 gold pieces. He could do so without causing many people to miss them much. A Rhode Island man run over by an automobile climbed into the machine and punched the chauffeur. Next time that chauffeur may be expected to be more careful in seeing that the job is complete. All men may be liars, as the good book says, but the baseball umpire is a burglar, highwayman, a safe blower and an undesirable citizen besides. His villainy is proclaimed unto the world from the ides of April until the ides of October. Professor Sargen'. of the gymnasium for women at Cambridge says woman can stand more than man. Any man of experience is willing to admit that, but no man of experience would dare j give as his reason what Sargent eays, that woman is a near-barbarian. A Pennsylvania town has passed a law prohibiting undertakers from doing do-ing business on Sunday. If we could only pass a law preventing undertakers underta-kers from working at any time there would be no need to combat race suicide. |