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Show The father of the trolley car is dead. Ho left a large family. Let us hope the sign painters will not adopt the cubist art. Currency reform can never make money any more popular. Philadelphia Is trying to get up a corner in baseball championships. Headline says: "Aged 83 and Wants a Wife; Owns a Buggy." Also Is. Sometimes a mere look at one's purse will reduce the vacation fever. Possibly men are going to raise whisker just to make the women Jealous. Jeal-ous. "Without warning," writes a reporter, re-porter, "the boom began to creak and groan." There will be a terrible run for erums when they begin to cure wrinkles. What will happen when a goat eats one of those ultramodern explosive golf balls? A fortune of a million or so awaits - a man named Brown. He ought to be easy to find. By a beneficent law of nature and trade the watermelon is cheapest when It 1b best. In these days when a box is more or less Indefinite, why not sell strawberries strawber-ries by the pound? No doubt the generous baseball fans are willing to give their share of the rains to the farmers. Philadelphia has a school for milkmen, milk-men, but has to send its mayor elsewhere else-where for an education. The Sunday automobile fatality Is now as regular in its occurrence as the Sunday drowning. Baseball Is a popular sport In the canal zone, but Culebra cut continues to do most of the sliding. Men like to talk about their achievements, achieve-ments, while women are content to talk about their neighbors. A Danish Inventor has contrived war machines to be covered by crops. This will make plowing exciting. The most fitting punishment for a bigamist would be a sentence to live with both his wives at once. Women are said to be wearing socks, but doubtless what they blush-Ingly blush-Ingly ask ask for Is half hose. The world must be getting better. The proprietor of a Chicago cafe advertises ad-vertises the fact that he has no cabaret. cab-aret. A Denver man with a broken neck is attending to his business which is not the watching of balloon ascensions. ascen-sions. The alarm clock trade ought to prosper if the police succeed In putting put-ting a silencer on the early morning Iceman. Save your old umbrellas. Some genius ge-nius has discovered that It is possible possi-ble to rob a bank with a fractured umbrella rib. Now Is the oppartunlty for the scientist sci-entist who can develop a mosquito that Is as fastidious about biting as a brook trout. In defending a suit for separate maintenance a man testified that his wife always won at poker. The double dou-ble significance of this is striking. As to those counterfeit $20 bills In circulation, you never have the slightest slight-est trouble in remembering where you got your 20s, do you? It Is to be hoped that, the swatting of the fly having been raised to the dignity of a campaign, the usual language lan-guage will not be used. New York church has hired a doctor and dentist to look after the health and teeth of worshipers. How about a tailor for the backsliders? Another of those useless noises Is the language indulged in by the average av-erage baseball fan when the umpire makes a decision that doesn't please him. A Maryland farmer caught a black snake in the act of swallowing a cast Iron rabbit. That explains the disappearance disap-pearance of the cast iron dogs and deer. |