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Show UNIVERSITY JOURNAL OPINION !PAGE 10 THURSDAY, MARCH 23, 2000 ·MO\'E SUU TO SPECIALIZED LEVEL A wind of chan ge is blowing through SUU once again . Because overall campus growth continues to climb, some changes must occur. Six primary options were discussed at the faculty and staff forum held on March 9 (see page 1 of the March 20 issue) and a seventh option emerged in the forum on Tuesday (see page 1). But in order for SUU to be most successful and facilitate further growth , one option stands out a s the best route: the "vertical" . approach. This concepf would focus on specialized programs and would adopt selectivity as a way to create a distinctive "niche" that makes SUU unique in higher education. The seventh option, discussed in Tuesday's forum, blends the · v ertical" and "horizontal" approaches, creating a "consensual desire for reasonable population growth , quality programs and realignment of resources to support the need for quality teaching and adequate research among faculty," (see page 1). This option would not be best for SUU in the long term. The "mix" is essentially what SUU is right now and what many say they want. However, SUU would continue to stay in the "limbo" position it is in now , not really specifying whether it's specialized , high-quality education with small classes or general, mass-produced education. This creates confusion. Some may lean toward the "horizontal" approach , which would offer as many programs as possible, attempting to be "all things to all people.· This wou ld develop into a basic , but mediocre, education, which is good for the general population . But this is what UVSC , SLCC , CEU, Snow and Dixie are for. Many students say they came to SUU for its quaintness and what they thought was quality, but because of its growth, these benefits have begun tp slip away. SUU cannot be everything for everyone; it is simply not possible. Other Utah colleges provide horizontal education , but SUU is a university, it should begin to act like one. We shouldn't have a "get 'em in, push 'em out-type education factory." as other institutions already demonstrate. With the vertical approach, SUU would be a specialized school, focusing energy and money into specific, high-quality education. This institution alre~dy has a style and unique charisma because of the geographical location and established emphasis on the arts. No other college or university in Utah has a character like SUU's. Let' s focus on raising the standards of our education from here and building upon what we have already developed . And if we raise the quality of specific programs, we must raise the quality of the students, which would mean increasing entrance requirements. This would eventually establish a high_standard for which many would look up to and seek for. Students will pay higher tuition for higher-quality education . Everyone wants a good education and SUU could offer the best in specified areas. It could become one of the best institutions in the state. We at the Journal ask the faculty, staff and students of SUU to lift up their voices for high standards , high quality programs and faculty. Let's push this institution to a specialized level where students and faculty can gain expertise. SOUTHERN UTAH UNIVERSITY • CEDAR CITY . 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Cedat C,ty, Utah 84720 FAX (435) 586-5487 E.,nail address. ,oumal@sw e<lu CJPRINTEO ON RECYCI.EO PAPER Pl.EASE RECYCLE THIS COPY - ,, DAVE BARRY COMMENTARY Men and women disagree on humor Today's topic was suggested by a reader named (At this point, the women readers are thinking, Richard from El Paso, Texas, who wrote a letter "That's only one group!") And what kind of humor do wo men lik~?- asking: "How do you obtain a sense of humor? I am more seriously inclined, and I understand that According to a news article about the Canadian.. women really love a man with a sense of humor. study , women , because of their more ... My main concern is how to apply it in everyday sophisticated brains, prefer humor that involves "longer narratives , pe rsona l information and conversation to impress women.· The first thing you need to understand, Richard, memories.· OK, Richard, so what does all this mean for you, is that men and women do not have the same trying to "apply humor in everyday conversation to definition of the term "a man with a sense of humor." To men, it means ·a man who thinks a lot impress women"? Here is the procedure I suggest: First, get hold of a joke. The good news is, there of stuff is funny.· Whereas to women, it means ·a are plenty of them on the Internet. The bad news man who talks and looks kind of like Hugh Grant.· This leads to a lot of disagreement between the is, all of them were invented by men, who control genders about what is funny . Fo r example , 99 percent of the world's joke supply. So you will recently my wife and I, along with maybe 15 other have to modify the joke to make it impressive to expectant couples, attended a hospital class on women. Let's say you have chosen the classic joke about breastfeeding. (In modern America, having a baby requires more classroom instruct ion . than the three guys who are captured by a primitive · becoming a dentist.) At one point, to illustrate an tribe, which offers them a choice between Death~ important issue , the breastfeeding instructor and Roo-Roo. walked around the room holding up a cloth model (At this point, the women readers are thinking: of a breast - kind of like a Muppet - with a little "Huh?" Whereas the men are thinking: "The Roo.· string on the back that the instructor pulled to Roo joke! Good one!") So, Richard, when you're talking with a woman make the breast change shape . The women looked on with mature , intelligent, concerned you wish to impress. look for an opening that will expressions . But I made eye contact with a allow you to bring up the joke ("Your aunt died? · number of men as the Breast Muppet went I'm so sorryJ Speaking of death, these three guys around, and I can state with certainty that if not for are captured .. ."). But ·here's the key: Don't rush the fact that we knew this was a Serious Matter through the joke. You have to tum it into a longer Involving The Health Of The Baby, plus the fact narrative containing personal information. WRONG: So the first guy says, "I'll take Roothat our w ives would h it us. we would have Roo!" . laughed ourselves into a state of dehydration. RIGHT: "P.,s a young boy, I'd hear my parents My point, Richard, is that women and men have different senses of humor. This was confirmed last fighting, and I'd cry into my pillow for hours." Got it, Richard? It will also help if you get year in a study done by two psychologists from Canada (HUMOR TIP : Canada is funn y). This extensive plastic surgery to look like Hugh Grant. study, which I swear I am not making up, showed If you use this technique, you 'll fi nd that any that simple, slapstick humor, such as the Three woman you talk to will soon be gazing at you Stooges, appeals to the following two groups of longingly, and reaching out for your hand. That's when you give her the "joy buzzer." people: 1. People with brain damage. Dave Barry is nationally syndicated columnist. 2. Men. |