Show ELING ie sure ly from the fai west to new york tib and I 1 had left the autocratic por ter and his vest billed home at Be anville I 1 won t name the state in an idle quest for tourmalines and amethyst often found in that locality A horse dealer had told ua of the place and tib am mediately took a fancy to loiter about a few days it was while at bean valle that we heard of tanker s mills 12 miles back in the mountains it was connected with the outside world largely by heart throbs tor the rough country road evidently was construct ed while the workmen were entertain ing the delirium tremens it seems that at the close of the civil war the only insane asylum in the state burned down and that a score of the inmates in escaping the flames wandered up to tanker s and took possession of a few deserted cabins As the commonwealth was bedridden with debt and as the little colony was quiet and gave no trouble the authorities decided to leave it alone to market its own garden sass in the settlement were several men of unusual culture perfectly rational ex capt on some one subject and as they controlled the weaker minded and more perfectly crazy inhabitants the taxpayers were glad to be rid of the whole outfit As the years passed the colony grew and the individual streaks of non compos were relegated to and merged in a general plane of oddity it became the custom when or woman got daffy to take them up there to board the ruined shacks had given place to neat frame houses and the queer people took the best of care of any sufferers from the outside world and often sent them back cured funny graft eha tib said it was a case of libus curan tur and mind you those people t rank crazy they averaged enough rationality to prosper and to care tor an occasionally violent voter but they were peculiar eccentric and of course every little while some one would get to telephoning to himself and cutting up dedoes we are all batty on some one sub eject he declared to me I 1 sane until it comes to shows another is evenly balanced until it comes to north poles and so it goes I 1 II 11 bet these simple folk are more rational than the average alderman to cut across lots we came to tanker s at nightfall and saw from the brow of a hill a scattering settlement of white houses As we entered the main street we observed a grocery store a blacksmith shop and a small hall and what surprised us was the busy bee activity of a crowd of men bunched in front of the village smithy s place of business what s doing fair and merry sirsa accosted tib cheerily in his old tree and easy way as we pedaled up to the gang instantly they turned and an old man with a chris kringle beard start ed back as though faced by a hooded cobra and with one dramatic lean finger pointed at us cried by my faith he has come it Is he odd bodkins put him to death cheerfully advised an urchin who am pressed my startled gaze as being IS feet in height odd hooligans cried tib and well sir the old man threw back his head and pealed out a laugh that sounded about as mellow as a rusty buzz saw eating a rock maple knot and as he chortled in unseemly glee he ejaculated walked into the trap my vitals and had he called on me at st james or whitehall I 1 had not been more surprised from his tone I 1 realized sir that we were about as popular with them as a safety deposit vault full of scar let fever germs tib was impressed after the same fashion for he whis to me up billye have we struck them at the harvest time of their speech savors of ye olden time and good queen bess sith it please ye then he asked aloud kindly identity us reverend sir and then yourselves monmouth thou wert ever a false hearted knave but think to dull my roval eyes by that d demanded the ringleader of the mental aberrations in his shrill voice nay sire denied tib looking back only to behold all escape cut off and you are 9 your uncle king james was the stern response strike me purple billy whig tib but we are invaders and if I 1 recall my history rightly mr monmouth lost his head I 1 sa old chap this is getting tiresome I 1 murmured to tib tell em I 1 m plain lly campbell and a stanch supporter of the throne A campbell shrieked king james ay smite me bleeding but I 1 know the foul scottish brood but argyle or campbell e shall hang and change from the quick to the dead more readily than ever ye shifted aliases probably some one has opened a quart bottle of murmured tib and they are unduly excited for the minute anyway if they are going to behave like this I 1 dont care how soon we desert them I 1 feel like an historical romance but sir the minute we tried to turn we were surrounded and what do ou suppose those oddities were armed witha pikes sir pikes and that was what the smithy was busy turning out As a rule tib s air of confidence would incite a cowardly pug dog to throw rocks at an elephant but he was a bit puzzled over this situ the brain tangle at tankers by HUGH copyright by jeeps bowles atlon we d net lots of heathens and irresponsible persons in our day but once you realized their status you could dope out their susceptibilities and comprehend the logical trend of their intent ons but a score of might glide from one person allty to another at any second and pluck us from one epoch only to plant us in another and in every event would probably insist that we hold the most onery cards and be soundly spanked it s no use earl of argyle to dodge our identity remarked tib to me gravely then to the king yes I 1 am monmouth our dutiful nephew come all the way from brabant to kiss your august hand the crowd pf peasants jeered at this admi s on and one stalwart rogue seemed determined to explore ou physical systems with his long prod der nay nay prohibited the king their seeming frankness shall avail them naught but retribution must overtake them in an orderly manner my lord chief justice jeffreys shall try them in the meantime lay them in the tower with the spy who was captured three days ago we were enamored wibb even this tor tib declared it was omen to be slaughtered in front of a prosaic blacksmith s shop and rounded by the we were dragged to the little town hall and thrust inside hello spy where are youa demanded tib sparring neatly to ward off any possible attack as be endeavored to peer through the dark ness I 1 say fellers admit you re all kings but for heaven s sake concede I 1 m only a drummer from buffalo begged a weak voice and a tall thin man very much frightened humbly approached us hat in ban 1 and stood where the light filtered through the window and made his angular form look willowy odds fish but ye are petitioning the wrong court I 1 am only the un happy monmouth groaned tib crazy as an owl whimpered the drummer say king help me to get out of this and send you down the best spring tooth harrow made well sir tib was so intent in trying to recall his monmouth lines that I 1 had to take the drummer aside and convince hlin of our good anten eions and sanity but lord sir he was auspicious he d been cooped up for three days and was beginning to hear bees in his own belfry but after I 1 d told him who was president and had named the capitals of 30 states he agreed we might be what we dian didn t seem for he concluded bially it ever I 1 saw a trifling light glint in a man s eye it is youl part ners there alack a day muttered tib plots and more plots now see here chil dren wove got to play our parts until the general intellect of this town clears up a bit this head fanatic is some college professor I 1 guess and he s hypnotized himself into believing for the moment that he s james of england now we must humor him or he 11 never recover so try and inhale the same kind of dope and at the first opening well leave bloody england for the quiet shores of bean ville HI you halberdier he cried through the open window to one of the guards want to earn 50 the man jabbed at us playfully with his spear and mumbled some thing about the king seea cried tib the old one has led these poor incompetents into be lieving he s king and they are hia sub ejects then to the guard again tak ing care to keep out of range what s your name fellows not your stage name but your real name the guard looked puzzled for a moment and then replied slowly why I 1 was always called al but since the king come im colonel kirke that s me kirke when did the king comee soothed tib why lets see es it was just before the blackness settled down and the guard grinned triumphantly at remembering thus much me and jed bufkins him that s my lord chief justice jeffreys now had just got back from selling some garden truck in but forgit there ain t any Be anville now it s brabant and this is england hooray for king james stand back from that winder ye poisonous critter and we all three leaped aside just in time to escape being decorated with the pike and it ye git say 11 climb in there and larrup ye warned the yeoman in con elusion gramercy for thy courtesy growled tib rubbing his barked knuckles if ever I 1 catch ye chasin the stag at epping we 11 have this out to a finish my lad say boss sobbed the lummer don t talk like that when we re alone it unhinges me I 1 feel myself going A murrain take thee go to thou knave I 1 sneered beautiful billy beautiful 1 con granulated tib let s wear the purple while we can and play our parts to the finish this poor varlet has submitted to for three days and will wind up by waiting on a foolish counter for life now hark ye we leave this place tonight it ye ever want to see brabant again silence how are we to work it tiba I 1 in quiren for the quaintness of our peril was getting into my bones I 1 m monmouth until we get back to bean brabant tib sim ply well earl I 1 shall try to start a revolution As ha said this a hearty hammer ing caused us to creep to the window on the other side of the building and steal a peep and what do you think sira why those poor hard hearted idiots were building a gibbet it sim ply swept the drummer off his feet oh monmouth he walled save this one fool what an idiot I 1 was with all the united states to live in that I 1 had to come down here to be by a counterfeit well well murmured tib purs ing up his lips and drawing up his rotund form this does look kind of serious we must get word to bean valle yet the guards won t allow one of us to slip through the window and there s no one to carry a message odd situation isn t if I 1 say yo i tellers I 1 mean mon mouth called out the guard poking his head into the window king james has just broken up his council and they decided the can live as he warned us of your coming hooray shouted the drummer with a vulgar display of enthusiasm shut up growled tib so you foretold our coming eha sure had to to save my hide grinned the drummer happily of course it was only con on my part but luckily it worked out all hunkey all s well that ends well you know you be so devilish gay over it snapped tib or you 11 find it s sad work to double cross even the pretender oh come now whined the drum mer you fellers wouldn t spike a poor man s game don t you see just as soon as I 1 ge to catch a constable and come back and rescue you both no ye won t chuckled the guard whom we d forgotten cause king james says ye can t go till after been executed whatever that means for danged if I 1 do and before ye go we re going to brand the word traitor on your brow well that doubled the drummer all up he tried to bribe the guard to run up to the corner store and beg the king to modify the sentence 11 give two dollars it you 11 get him to change his mind and brand me on the leg or in the newspapers he hyster icalla odds tomatoes I 1 whispered to tib but we must leave here in very sooth BY MY faitha HE HAS comee IT IS HE then what wag becoming an ex unlovely situation with the busy hammers clanging away on the gibbet and the tall jasper at the win dow trying to make gimlets in our legs with his pike was given a new direction by a lusty shout at the front door and the sound of a voice crying hoorays A Monmouth 1 A monmouth and then the portal was cast down and my lord era somebody bawled forth hello foibles where be ye and come ye in peace here or come ye in wara demanded tib while the drummer shuddered and protested that our visitors were as welcome as burglars we re friendly hooray for mon mouth cried the rabble let the portcullis fall and enter invited tib then to me dont you see we re rescued when the leading fay hypnotized this weak minded chorus into viewing him as his bajes ty king james he necessarily supplied the whole suggestion that Is the suggestion of a monmouth eke our re the last implied a handful of supporters and now well leave this dungeon raise the west and the in sane equation is completed james has created a frankenstein that will devour him say I 1 knew a teller once named he traveled began the drummer eagerly but hist vas sal commanded one of the newcom ers and he histed the floor grew warm under our prancing feet as we hurried to leave the hall the halberdier leaned in the window and eyeing us curiously cried ye dian didn t git out by th winder did ye I 1 was told ter guard it and by gum I 1 have but he made no move to stop our passing through the door and tib swore he was a man with a heart fn his bosom on the other side of the keep the volunteer cabinet makers kept pounding away at the gibbet and decked us not although one blur with sinister shrill ness let erin remember our new captors numbered about a bozen and watched ua keenly al though accepting tib as their master for when we tried to say good night and sneak away after our wheels they caused us to hesitate and informed us we would be placed to death it we made another break we ve left our hlein to stand by ye an don t ye dast to caper any warned one I 1 trow we shall not part in scorn assured tib then let that all teller stop his remonstrated another me groaned the drum mer keeping close to us but say fel lers this real Is ita im still traveling for the buffalo house ain t I 1 I 1 don t know why we took any body besides monmouth fer declared the leader stopping short and eying us evilly before this queer spell come on don t remember as we had any call ter rescue anybody but mon mouth let s kill th other suggested a corn haired boy cheerfully hold roared tib these two men we all wot of are leal and true who touches a hair of their gray heads I 1 but ere touchy I 1 guess broke in the corn haired youth I 1 only want ter do what s right if ye don t want em killed say so I 1 dian didn t think atwould make no difference I 1 m sartin no one would miss either on em we were now clear of the main street and apparently leaving the set I 1 had an idea of dodging into the bushes and escaping but tib whis we would accomplish nothing except to alienate our few faithful followers taunton hii receive us warmly he added and I 1 sundered sud dered he said it so earnestly that I 1 feared his intellect was looping the loop and I 1 m sure the drummer felt the noose then our adopted parents quickened the pace and conversation was killed by the high hill we now began to climb it seemed as if we d been on that hill tor years in pausing to look back on the lights of the village it seemed as it cries of rage were fret ting the balmy sumar night and I 1 could hear the drummer s teeth clink ing like pebbles in a tin can marry come up tib at last whence are we fencing hen cing and in the moonlight I 1 saw the old fellow was mopping the sweat from his round face can t we call on the overseer of the poor or at a drug store and get a bite to eaf moaned the drummer I 1 have had naught fair sirs good form cried tib approving ly oh im going fast whimpered the drummer it seems real to me now and if I 1 only had a hooded hawk or a baldric I 1 d be doing a huntsman a stunt but honest fellers ive had nothing in my stomach but rain water for three days and I 1 had to steal that out of a barrel by the window when the archers were playing horse |