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Show DAILY April 19, 2006 HERALD It all depends on howyouframeit Silence can be a ‘powerful statement that she and her brood are your family and that they love you? You can test this out by asking for a picture of them to put in the frame.If your sister EAR MISS MANNERS — 1 am a single woman without children. Twoyears ago, I was very upset because Thad just broken off a relation- ‘ve been living with one of my bestfriends for al- ship of twoyears that I thought seems pleased, then yes, you were being overly sensitive. If she chuckles and saysthat’s most four years. We get along famously, and I hope I was headed for marriage. before we movedin, and they have been breaking up four kids) gave me a picture frame that said “family.” I was offended but didn't tell her anything and et the frame for somet! This year, ] am aan single and turned 40. For my birthday, my sister gave me picture frame that says: “Love is what binds us together... FAMILY.” Upon unwrapping this gift, my reaction was toask, “What picture Miss Mariners that you have a sister and a brother-in-law and four nieces and/or nephews. Of course,if your sister has a am going to put in it?” history of cruelty, and you re- in giving me these gifts but I taunt you by making you look at empty frames to emphasize always know her. She’s been dating this guy, “Jim,” since andgetting back together, fighting in public, playing games, andparticipating in sundry other unhealthy relationship markers since the day they got together. And for four years, I've supported, sympathized, andoffered Tell Me About It (of the “leave him, stop playing games” variety). * But I'm coming to realize he always will love me and just wants to beherefor me, what I feel was good advice there’s no endin sight, and I'm tired oflistening and offering myadvice when she does the opposite. So I've stopped, and I can sense thatit frustrates her. | know she understands why — she haseven said I deserve a medalfor putting up with it all these years — but I feel like I'm turning myback on Carolyn Hax I know my sister means well etc. I want him to move on, but I also want him to be find them offensive.Is it just happyand I don't want to me? AmI overly sensitive? ShouldI just continue to be be the jerk whocuts him off. What should I do? Pick up? quiet and gracious about it? Ignore?Call him to be nice? GENTLE READER — You do What is the right degree of have a family. You just told ing him to moveonwith his life andrelationships? — Virginia senseof, and therefore recover from, a breakup is by If you can rally some friends to help you, you can talking things over. Andover and over and over. Little can force people to move on faster than getting sick of can send him the wrong ing out that somepart of her must wantthings this way or even one a day might delay ting up with it. Four years means it's time to stop pretending that dumping Jim is the miracle cure. Thecure,if she wantsit, is for her to address whatevervoidhefills. This is assuming she asks your advice. If she doesn't, then your most powerful statementis silence. It says, “You know howI feel about your drama, so please write meoutof it” — with more authority than telling her that ever could. messageandyouupa wall; healing. And taking them indefinitely will become counterproductive. Exactly when you'll get to thatpoint, it’s hard for me to say — were you together IQweeks, 10 months, 10 years? — but yourgut should be able to tell. Once yougetthere,it’s importantto explain to him I broke up with my boy- still calls me about three times a day. When I pick up, he just wants to talk and then always endsthe call by telling meto call him, that duced.It is infuriating (to me at least) that manyofthe companies don't care a fig about this worst of fuels” — and it appears that our planet has about a 300year supply ofthe stuff. Thepurloining of Dickens comes from Kenneth Deffeyes in his book “Beyond Oil.” My data for this column comes from there and from an article in the magazine On Earth, (27(3):20-29,Fall 2005) by Craig Canine (neat name!). This is a special issue on global warm- ing, the focus ofour last two columns. The world's petroleum pro- * duction is dueto reachits high point in the foreseeable future. So we need some other fuel/energy sources. The best and worst of our options is apparently coal.It's best because it’s plentiful, it’s relatively cheap, and we Americans have moreofit than anyoneelse (China and India also have major deposits).It’s worst because it’sdirty, it generates huge amountsofcarbon dioxide in burning or otherwise releas- problem or about cleaning up; they'rejust looking out for the bottom line andthey lobby the federal governmentincessantly to permit them to continue polluting. On the bright side, there are some CEOs with a moral DuaneJeffery Science & Society scars from surface mining. That's for starters. Carbon dioxide (CO2)is of sense who are turning to new technologies already available and tested. Somedo it because they recognize that new regula- tions are inevitable, and others because they're penny or mitted to cleaning up. Canin gives credit to some of these. One concept inr thenewer technologies is “carbon capture contribute to acid rain and mercury pollution,it leaves danger- Carolyn each Friday at ous mineshafts and long-lasting directly into the atmospherethe millions of tons of CO2 thus pro- methane is used as usual; the CO2 produced and captured is then piped to aging oil fields Guns hooked.It’s for the fun, but also forself-protection, that’s an issue, too.” John Geisness, an NRA-certified training counselor who lives in Martinez,Calif., said he noticed a jump in women wanting to learn how to handle a firearm properly after the fallout of Hurricane Katrina. “There werea fair amount after 9-11, but the media really showed whatwas going on with the hurricane and people became moreconcerned,” he said. “The majority of the peopleI see are females between the ageof 35 and 55 that have never owned a gun before, and they realize education is the key to understand the safety andoperation of a firearm.” Geisness teaches daylong NRA instruction courses eae Contra Costa County, Calif., in basic pistol, rifle and shotgun courses. Therealso is a shorter course on homefirearm safety. Approximately 45 percent of U.S. households havefirearms. And outof the 65 million to 80 million Americans who own guns, about 35 million own handguns,according to the NRA’sInstitute for Legislative Action. With so many households tapped into the firearm scene, many families have taken to. shooting together. The Martinez Gun Club is doing whatit can to create a E-mail “Tell Me About It”: tellme@washpost. c/o The Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW,Washington, D.C. friend two weeks ago. He It's “the best offuels;it is the | 20071. Chat online with his calls. com; fax: 202-334-5669; or write: “Tell Me About It,” DearCarolyn: children, she might not inspire warm family feelings. But is it not remotely possible that this is her way of reminding you haveonly lived in our house for four years and she was away at college most of the time. We ae interacted about five times has never been anypos but rude. Are we expected to send a gift/check because she sent an announcement? I think that would be rather presumptuous of her. Are announcementsjust announcements? Or is some- course oneof the most potent “greenhouse gases” — those pollutants in our atmosphere responsible for heating up the, planet. Andindustrial plants burning coal for energy production are humanity's single-largest producer of CO2, accounting for some25-35 percentofall we produce. Most coal-fired plants operate with pulverized coal and whatyou're doing and why, right before you stop taking noonEasterntime, at www. RYE aSAR aa Tag OPCicaxa ton Es) ing its energy, its emissions or even permanent landscape Continued from B1 www.heraldextra.com/yellowpages and shooting opportunities. “Here, we can barely keep up with the demandfor those volunteers that wantto provide shooting opportunities for women,” Faulknersaid. “Shooting is fun, and | think once womenpull the trigger — go skeet shooting, go to the pistol range — I think they're Networking WwWomen that works for -:. and sequestration” (CCS). CO2 captureis very expensive with standard power plants, but with coal gasificationit is a much cheaper process. Coal gasification involves heating the coal to very high temperatures but with too little oxygen to burst into flame.A variety of products is thus produced including methane (natural gas). The congratulations. For blameless table manners, senda long,self-address stampedenvelope and $2 to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092 and you'll receive “Miss Manners’ The Etiquette of Proper Eating.” Feeling incorrect? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (whois distraught that she cannotreply personally) at MissManners@unitedmedia. com whereitis injected deep into the ground to force the remaining oil to whereit can be reached by the regular pumps. Canine details just such an operation in North Dakota and southern Saskatchewan.Geological units other than depleted oil fields are also possibilities‘for sequestra- tion. A further refinement, Integrated Gasification Combined Cycle (IGCC) systems, has the potential to be even cleaner. I'll refer readers to the Canine article for a summary ofthese, but four such plants (two in Europe, twoin the U.S. — Indiana and Florida)arein operation. ‘These two requireinjection wells to store the CO2 deep in the ground, wherehopefully it will remain for hundreds or thousands ofyears. But the coal industry is planning major new plantsin the near future.It is imperative — but not at all resolved — that these use the newer technologies. They'll cost a bit more, but it will pay offin better health for both ourselves and our planet. Join the business womenin Utah County for this lunch NETWORKING event! Introduce yourself and your business to other women- and makesure you bring plenty of welcoming atmosphere. That's why every Wednesday night is all in the family. Whereelse can toddlers waddle alongside fathers withoutflinching at the sound of nearby firearms popping into the night sky? The popular favorite is trap shooting, where people take shotsatflying clay pigeons. “WhenI first started shooting | didn’t likeit all that much because it was loudandit kicked,but nowI feel very comfortable with it,” said Wal- nut Creek,Calif., resident Debbie Mastroianni, who has been shooting for the past year. Her husband, A! Mastroianni,is the president of the Martinez Club. “Plus, if you hit one or two pigeons, you're addicted.” +) 2006 event against L 3 CCGL6CCS05 -business cards! O steoporosis doesn’t haveto be a part ofaging.It’s a preventable and curable disease. Find outif you're at risk by attending a Jeanette Bennett, editor of Utah Valley Magazine will be speaking on how to py about the eti- quette of the situation is incorrect. An announcement is just an announcement Rima bill. The something that should be made in return is a note of washingtonpost.com. effectively network your business. WHAT:Networking that Works for Women Event WHEN:Thursday,April 20, 2006 WHERE:Old Historic Courthouse Building (51 S. University Ave.) TIME: 11:30 a.m. - 1 p.m. COST: $6 Fee to Cover Lunch RSVP: You MUST RSVPtoattendthis event! Call the Provo-Orem Chamber of Commerce to RSVP: 851-2558. Sponsored By: QUsINESs PROVO-OREM CHAMBER OF COMMERCE gz é a WOM e themselves andtheir grief, so taking atleast someofhis calls helps you both. Takingall of them, though, fired out of a cannon. You could also trypointelse she wouldn't keep put- your lack of a husband and ment. In fact, I am pretty sure she sent one tohalf of the block. To be honest with you, we your ‘The best and worst energy source One way people make tuning out? — Dump Him Already try a Vegas-style “Dump Him Already” stage show, with a brassy orchestra, chorus girls in fruit headdresses and you ally believe that she is trying to DEAR MISS MANNERS — My neighbor's daughter sent me a college graduation announce- inpresunginsyouu the each other yours — ; ahey are trolling for Ss Tree teasiccjeiiores comply — are correct or not, Miss Manners cannot say. But staying supportive and forc- her. Anyfinal advice I can give her before REALLY Judith Martin Miss Manners not what the frame is for, Miss Manners will concede and allow you to add to your thanksthat you will put it away in case you ever need it. es a a DailySHerald Osteoporosis Screening Sat., April 29, 2006 = 8a.m.to Noon Call 812-4624 for an appointment Central UtahClinic Imaging 1055 North 500 West, Suite 112 = Provo, UT Osteoporosis Risk Factors: « Caucasian or Asian nationality «= family history of osteoporosi mail, thin frame # do not do weight-bearing exercises « regularly drink aicohol + excessively smoke # do not get enough calcium and/or vitamin D shave lost height, Provided as a community service by the Central Utah Clinic Crternal Wedivine and Endoscrinclogy Loters Central Utah Clinic.. ‘YourHealth, Your Choice™ |