OCR Text |
Show C4 DAILY Keepingfamily’ssecret feelsS wrong arolyn: I'm wondering whether honesty, which I highly value, is the best policy in my situation. “Drew” Sunday, March 3, 2006 HERALD Boyfriend’s rude behavioris rooted in low self-esteem ing your boyfriend the truth. For one thing, she did (kind of) ask you not to, and she does (kindof) havea point. His knowing seems almost gratu- itous and I are in our mid-20s and have been together five years, living together for two. .t'sa y boyfriend of 14 months has started to be mean to me in healthy relationship-and we Whathe loses by not knowing, on the other hand, is sig- frontof otherpeopleto look nificant. He loses a mate who plan on the whole“forever” thing can be openand unguarded in cool. I have tried everything to get him to stop, but noth- During a casual conver- his presence. That's huge. Healso loses a chance to help his mom, and to make Carolyn Hax sation, his mother started spilling her guts to me that Drew’s father has beencheat- Tell Me AboutIt ing onher. We'retalking vears of affairs. Some ofthe women arestill so-called jriends of the family,” though ! now knowbetter. Drew's parents wereoneof the jew examples in nay life of a strong, loving marriage. (My own parents’ is a wreck.) Not now I'm wonderingif that’s somehowtoolong, and now I'm condemnedto carrythis to mygrave only has that illusion been shattered. but nowI'mcarry- Thanks, Ma! ing around apretty damn big As awfulasit was for her to secret. She didn’t really say, Don't tell him.” What shedid sition, though, I do sympathize say was, “I don't think Drew knows, and I don’t see whyhe should. So... should he? Keeping this to myselfjust feels to endure. Sothat’s why| don't think Wrong. I'vebeencarryingthis put you (and herson)inthis powith her. That’s a lot to endure want to be with him. What should I do? — Elise, 17, Bard- There'sstill time to defuse alone, even for someone who hasapparently madethe choice this bomb. If it’s done right you may yetsee an example — orthree — of“strong, loving”relationships. the answeris sosimple astell- him, but heis acting like nothing has really changed her. Explain that keeping a secret from yourboyfriend about courseoftelling him yourself — butshe’sless likely to refuse if you discuss your concerns with her,,vs. dropping “youtell or| will”in herlap. MARCH SALE! Sale prices validMonday, March6 through kasd March 11,2006 NATIONAL CRAFT MONTH =Caen DEALS! ALLSt. Patrick's| sid Scentof the Month [ALL BASK perform this goodbyeritual: Takeeverythinghe ever gave andis being really sweet. I'm afraidif I go back out with his ownfamily feels wrong to you. If she refusestotalk to her son,youwill still have the re- — Tornin Texas give him mixed signals. Then he doesn't know why sense ofhis parents, his home and himself. Togive proper weight to bothsides, the only solution 1 can see is to go backto the momtoraise these issues with around for over a month, and of you don't talk so you don't ing has worked — and he says he doesit. I broke up with him, he will start being a jerk again, but I love him and I stown, Ky. Listen — he has issues, and Atoosa Rubenstein Dear Seventeen esteem doesn't grow overnight, you're not a therapist. Who knowswhyhis self-esteem, so don’t believe this guy's new mother's andhis therapist's problem. Yourproblemis that without you to be rude to, he is so low that he has to make youlookbadin order to make himself look better? That'shis youdon'treally believe that sweetie-pie act. He's trying to manipulate you (evenif he’s not consciously awareofit) so you'll take him back.Afterall, doesn’t feel as good about himself. Stop thinking about him and start thinking about you. Delete his number from your the trash on the day you know the garbagemen come.I know —I'mso heartless. Boo-hoo. Once you removeall the reminders, you'll see how much easierit will be for you to move on. Andthat is what you have to do, my dear. Cut him off so you can be available for a guy who brings you up — not down.Not interested? Then you need to workon building your self-esteem too. Questions may be sent directly to wavering so much. You both are addicted to each other for all the wrong reasons.‘1 prom- your BuddyList. Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the foundingeditor of CosmoGirl! ise you onething, Elise: Self- your life so you can kick this magazine,is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. you deservebetter than that — otherwise you wouldn't be cell and his screen name from You need to erase him from Ora aa CTTem EME (Pear) Utah County Surgical Associates $12” proudly announcesthe addition of y Mediteranean Sea Berry Ensembles (5 Colors), Bruce B. Hill, mb, FACS FRUITS & VEGETABLES Dogwood& (Hot Pink,Berry Cream,Ensembles Blue 24” Mixed Greenery Arrangements In Urn 5 72° Garland& (4 Styles) to their practice of general surgery. Patient care in 34 @ General surgery @ Vascular surgery 12" Cutterpede Tig" Twin Tip Writer Basic Cube Store-In-Style | 19 @ Laparoscopic surgery Ss} 4? @ Thorascopic surgery @ Vein treatments AL Store-In-Style es ah including laser therapy ;‘ Accepting new Cat's Eye Stamp patients Pads 1120 East 100 North, Suite 1 Payson, UT 812-5050 3m™ Adhe: Products Fuzzy Posters & Paint rs © Melissa a Doug’ ' Activity Kits When was THE LAST TIME you faced DRAGONS, BEASTS, EVIL QUEENS, TATTOOED BULLIES, AND TRIALS BY FIRE AND WATER? 202. Anple Barrel Aerylic Paint Canvas Concepts™ 90% ra NOT INCLUDING VIDEO GAMES. Did youknow? EveryRoberts has a Floral Desk where you can have custom florals made for your lobby, your home, 1 Roberts I 1 rem rear The MagicFlute rete(et Any One Item SING i By Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart March 11-19 + OPENING NIGHTIS SELLING OUT. BEST SEATS AVAILABLE MonDay. ORDER NOW. Tickets$1070$70. CaLL355-ARTS, Ss 610 E. Shite Rl fan S. (300 § (901) 756.018 (mols sas-aaa Ls Cepar Crry fr. 42S, Min 1028 Hast Tabernacle] (955) 856-4969 (498) 6569560 10078, University Ave (801)373-118 robertscrafts.com |