Show SPOONERS CONCEIT do you really mean it mr spoon er when you say I 1 am the best girl in the asked miss after the young man had suggested that she should become mrs spoon er indeed I 1 do miss asser bated the young man I 1 say it again you are the best girl in the world and the loveliest I 1 think you saida the loveliest without doubt I 1 think yo i said something about my accomplishments I 1 did I 1 said they excelled those of any other girl I 1 believe you called me sweeta A sweeter woman neer drew breath quoted the ardent lover you used the word perfect too did you nota I 1 did I 1 also pronounced you the pink of perfection propriety and mod esty the empress of my heart the peerless one among the beauteous creatures of your sex a maiden adora able enchanting and worthy of the hand of the best man on earth say the word that will make me the hap 1 man on earth my own dora before I 1 give you an answer mr spooner I 1 should like to ask you one question A dozen it you like one will be enough don t you think that you have a great deal of assurance to expect a woman with all those excellent qualities to marry such an ordinary man as youa then mr spooner went home HER MOTOR TONGUE clara s got a tongue like a motor like a motor hows thata she s always running people down have you noticed I 1 think D ck and katharine will soon be married why deara well I 1 passed by the old porch last and I 1 heard her calling him pet names gracious and was she calling him ducky and dearest and angel facea well I 1 should say not she was calling him dunce goose and stupid you don t mean it I 1 do and that is always a sure sign a girl Is in love with a man chicago daily news D efferent mend ng yes rounder was addicted to poker and cocktails before the nage she told him it was never too late to mend and he reformed that was fine yes but now he is telling her it Is never too late to mend in what waya why he keeps her up until long after midnight mending his shirts and stockings chicago daily news intercept ng the ma I 1 college student nervously did the enma donna get my bouquet 9 stage doorkeeper yes sir but that six foot young feller you see back there got the letter he s her son N weekly TAKING THEM IN TIME mistress what do you mean mima by putting on my newest boots which I 1 ve only worn once myself housemaid but inaam it worn the boots many times they d be much too large for me Flie gende beaetter Bla etter before taking customer see here you say this medicine will cure consumption you don t look as it it would consumptive drug clerk I 1 I 1 haven t begun taking it yet N weekly would half keep her promise yes she promised to marry him and make him happy do you suppose she willa marry hima oh yes houston post A love match you tell me she married for love but I 1 happen to be aware that the man she married is worth a million at course the million Is what she loves houston post his exper ence knicker what is the cheapest wa to repair an autom booker dynamite it and buy a new enen 1 sua t i t the prof table customer purchaser those matches I 1 had yesterday were not good proprietor of shop I 1 m very sorry sir but you never buy anything else of me purchaser well I 1 shan t deal here any more proprietor shop to his errand bill go and shut up the shop at once TOOK IT AS A PROPOSAL he very fond of dogs miss don t you think you ought to have an intelligent animal about the house that would protect you and she oh mr muffins this is so sud den statesmanship this statesmanship Is tar from fun with doubt the wise men view it all know about what should be done but not just how to do it washington star rather insinuating ah miss lne whispered the impecunious nobleman did did you tell your paper that you had cap aured me tor one husband 9 I 1 did replied the pretty heiress and and did you tell papa that I 1 was one great piece of lucka I 1 did and what did papa say he said oh hang the luck chicago dally news and something else automobilist stopping tor a drina 0 water you have fine roads in this neighborhood the last time I 1 was along here I 1 went over a mile in a minute and a halt farmer yes an you went over a shoat mine too durn ye chicago tribune CAME EASY you re always in deaf you ought to be ashamed of yourself oh I 1 dont know it you were in my place you d probably be in debt too what placed able to get credit wan ng affections angelina I 1 dont believe you love me as much as you did edwin edwin pooh nonsense what makes you think thata angelina well its several days now since you called me a vain and heartless little flirt and I 1 know I 1 haven t changed cassell s journal not L kely to be around mr So cletie are you not going to call on the bridee mrs Socie tle I 1 would be perfectly willing to call on her but I 1 dont want to meet her husband oh I 1 guess there s no danger of meeting him been married six weeks N weekly A complete understand ng the social poultice you jeaa to say you re not going to lend me halt a dollard the victim no what I 1 mean to say Is that I 1 m not going to give you one QUITE NATURAL mr monk I 1 ve beaten you by six tricks the giraffe yes monkey lubricated miss sparkle Is ferdy s automobile an easy runners cholly glinn sure his dad pays the N herald proof pos alve knicker how do you know she Is homec did yo i ee hera bocar io ane dian didn t see me N t fun |