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Show OuECO aeBQHBO J Pag conceptby Q. Do you believe that your child is not personally involved drugs even though you realize that there is a drug problem your community and in your schools? Yes D Marty Lee in in D No Most parents accept the fact that drugs are a problem of epidemic proportions, but they prefer to believe that it's somebody else's child who has the problem, not their own. This kind of denial can be dangerous. Your best defense against drug abuse is to realize that no family is immune to the problem; it can and does occur in all types of families. Q. Do you popular, think that because your child is a high achiever or he or she is safe from drugs? Yes No Parents often feel that if their children are good students, have goals and interests and a strong they are not going to.get involved with drugs. Unfortunately, statistics show that all kinds of youngsters honor students, homecoming queens, and athletes included can have drug problems. Just because your child doesn"t go to rock concerts or hang out with the "wrong with the wrong" kids doesn't mean he or she isnt using drugs. The fact is that most youngsters on drugs buy, sell, and use substances at school. Kids also do drugs at home, at sporting and club events, even at church. self-imag- e, Do you feel guilty about checking up on where your child goes and who his friends are? Yes No Don't feel guilty! Checking up means you care. It is not only your right but your obligation to know where your youngster is. what he is doing and with whom. Children dont always make the best choice for themselves. It is the parents responsibility to steer them back in the right direction when they veer too far off course, and to catch them when they fall. Parents are the safety net that provides children a healthy passage from childhood to adulthood. consider your child's room respect his or her privacy? Do you to you because you off-limi- ts Yes D No son or daughter is entitled to some privacy, you are also entitled to know what is going on in your home. Drug users often get in their rooms and stash their drug supplies in the house without arousing their parents' suspicions. Children hide drugs inside stereo speakes. in heating and air conditioning vents, sew them inside stuffed animals, tape them behind posters. One youngster admitted: I kept them in my parents While a closet because knew they wouldnt I look there! used.by Would you recognize drugs or drug paraphernalia if you saw SjC3flTEKBag)1lflTCt them? No Yes Many parents dont know what a roach clip looks like or black beauties, rainbows, yellow jackets. For your own protection you should find out what drugs look like, what their effects are. how they smell, what their street names are, and how to spot their use. Most communities have organized parent groups who are informed and happy to share their knowledge of drugs and drug paraphernalia. Or ask your local police or health departments for guidance. your child showed changes titudes, grades, friends, or interests? Would you be alarmed Yes if d No in at- d Investigate immediately if your child suddenly seems different" if his values have changed, if his old friends dont come around any more and you wish the new friends wouldnt, if his grades have slipped, or if he has suddenly lost all interest in favorite hobbies or projects. Youngsters who use drugs regularly can exhibit any or all of these signs. Would you believe your child if he or she admitted to trying marijuana once but that's all? Yes d No d youngster who admits to having tried drugs once is more likely to be using drugs regularly. His admission is a means of to himself as well as to you. A child minimizing his involvement who truly did try drugs only once or twice out of curiosity is not likely to admit it at all because he thinks he has done something A the consequences. To learn the real truth, you have to monitor your child's friends, activities, and "bad" and fears will behavior. Q. Does your child have his or her own supply of eye drops? Yes d No peanut butter.) equate your childs behavior problems with your own wild oats period and tell yourself that hell outgrow It Just as you did? Do you d No d be deceiving yourself. It is vital for parents you do, you may not to lose their perspective on what constitutes a normal range of adolescent behavior. Having a beer after a basketball game is not the same as getting high before school every day. Talking back to a parent is not the same as punching a hole through a wall in a fit of blind rage . If objects or money mysteriously disappeared from your Yes d No and your husband conceal from each other information QDo youyour childs behavior? No n Yes n Parents who say, Im not going to tell your father about what happened this time, or "Your mother doesn't have to know in this; itll just worry her, are really acting as their child's drug problem. Such statements are really inviting the child to play his parents against each other, thus keeping them from joining together to stop his drug use. Parents may see it as a way of making the child "straighten out, but in reality this withholding of information helps neither the troubled child, the situation, nor the marriage. To the contrary, the best way to combat a childs drug problem is for all family members to be honest with each other and band together at the first signs of trouble. QDo you and your husband blame problems? Yes D No behavioral QHave youas noticed the problem child? d If they have, you should not ignore this danger signal. Youngsters who first start on drugs usually use their friends' supplies. (One of the ways they deny their drug use to themselves is by believing that if they dont buy drugs, they dont have a drug problem.) However, as their drug use escalates, they soon have to buy their own. Drugs can cost a great deal of money, so the youngster may steal cash from Moms purse or Dad's wallet or take silver, tools, jewelry, or other items that can easily be turned into cash. d Be suspicious if the answer is yes. Drug absuers often try to hide the red eyes that result from regular use of marijuana or alcohol by constantly applying eye drops. (In an attempt to hide the smell of alcohol on their breath, youngsters also use heavy gum, and eat spoonfuls of perfume, chew strong-flavore- d Yes QHave each other for your Q Yes changes in other family members No Families are something like mobiles: When one part of the structure loses its balance, every other part must shift to find a new balance In a family thrown off balance because one child is a drug user, the other children may suddenly adopt new roles in an effort to rebalance the family structure. A child may become super good in order to make up for the drug users bad behavior. Another child might compensate by constantly getting into scrapes himself in order to distract the family from the problem and attract attention to himself. A child may become extremely passive in an attempt to escape from the family turmoil or may clown constantly in a desperate effort to get the family to laugh again. In some cases a sibling will imitate the child and take up the habit too. . drug-usin- g QDoes in your family use prescription or drugs to wake up, go to sleep, lose weight, or relax? anyone over-the- Yes n No D parent who regularly uses prescribed or drugs is giving a nonverbal message to a child: Drugs are a "normal" part of life. So if your medicine cabinet contains drugs other than those for strictly medicinal purposes, seriously evaluate what they are and throw out what you dont use and dont use what you dont need. A over-the-count- to smoke pot or drink alcohol, would you Qlf your hechilddo itis atgoing home? Yes d No n parents fall into the trap of trying to be understanding modem" about substance use. However, allowing children to use drugs at home or trying drugs along with parents) is a way of giving the drugs parental approval. Parents should make sure every family member knows exactly what the family attitude about drugs and alcohol use is, what the rules are concerning these substances, and what the consequences are for violating the rules. Parents should never let a child convince them that they're "old fogies if they dont allow youngsters to indulge in "recreational" drugs. Many and Marriages are often marred, if not completely wrecked, by a uses drugs. Parents who blame each other or themselves for the problem only add to the burden already child. Attaching blame imposed on the family by the drug-usin- g is a waste of everybodys time and doesn't solve the problem. Parents must face their child's drug problem together, as a team. Even if they are divorced, they should work together to do what is best for their child child who . QHas your husband been spending more time away from home Yes Q No D Many parents feel the easiest way to cope with a childs drug problem is to withdraw from the family scene spend more hours at the office, make more trips out of town. Such avoidance doesn't work, of course and the child eventually will cause enough trouble to force the family to face his drug use. told by a counselor that trying drugs" Is a nor- QHave you been of growing up for a youngster? Yes No If you have, don't believe it! If you send your youngster to a therapist or professional counselor, make sure that person is informed about the dangers of adolescent drug use and does not consider it a "normal part of growing up. |