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Show Between Adults and Teen-Agers? generations; but this noted novelist has a peace plan that can work! “He was someone I could always world which does not offer them talk to.” I remember him as a person of much protection, either mentally or physically. They are exposed to sights and stories of danger and lust. They hear and read of scandals and tragedies. great dignity. He never forced his presence or his ideas on young people. But in a quiet way he was always ready with the protection and advice that youth so often wants. In my own experience, I have seen again and again that many You cannot bridge the age gapif you pretend that such things do not exist. But you can talk them over. You can be persuasive in combat- young people are almost wistful ing them if you gain a young per- about wanting to be with older people at times and*to join in their son’s confidence. You will not cross the gap if conversations. But they may not feel sure they would be welcome. A college girl told me that the you try to do it by angry protest. reason sheliked her college so much was that the faculty talked to the and will know whether you are do- students. “Not just about our work instead of a pleasure. If you are‘not at ease with those outside your age group, it’s better not to waste ev- or grades,” she said, “but about everything.'And they never talk down to us,” One thing is certain: no one can bridge the age gap if he or she is’ putting on an act. There can be no pretense, or the effort will come to nothing. In middle life or old age, normal people do not enjoy many things that delight youth. If they pretend that they do, they only widen the gap. An essential in making success- ful contacts“with youth is to be your age. Show that you respect and like being as old as you are, and you haye made a beginning. I put my cards on the table one day with a teen-ager who was staying at my house. He was playing some records which were noisy and unmusical from my point of view. I asked him, “Do you really like that music, David?” He said; “Oh yes! Don’t you?” I could havelied to please him, to be on his side. But I didn’t. I told him that I was too old to like it, that my ear was tuned to mel- ody. He was very much interested in the difference in our reactions, and we talked about it for some time. Thelittle discussion made us better friends, and I did not ask him to stop playing his records. In addition to respecting your own age, you must respect the age on the other side of the gap. You must have sympathy and understanding of its habits and likings even if you cannot share them. Young people are living in a Nor if the company of the young bores you. They are very intuitive’ ing something with them as a duty erybody’s time with false advances toward them. But it has always been my experience that life has a better flavor when older and younger people meet occasionally. When I was a very young woman, I used to be asked quite often to dine with a group of much older people. I found the occasions delightful. The talk was interesting and at times profound. The dinners had morestyle and formality than those given by people of my own age. I was flat- tered at being invited. Now in reverse, I ask younger people to my home when the occasion seems right. They usually like to come. But never do I feel or pretend that I am one of their group. I am bridging, not merging. Age groups are inevitable and natural. But they should be friendly to each other, not hostile. There are homes where sympathy and understanding never give up and where freedom lives happily with discipline and good advice. A lucky few live in these homes. But a man who has devoted his life to correctional work told me that there are boys and girls, who cannot be reached, who will neither accept nor return the offered friendship of mature people. This is true, sad—and dangerous. It makes it more necessary to outnumber such young people with others for whom the gap between age groups has been bridged. @ Family Weekly, April 30, 1967 |