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__TheSalt Lake Tribune OPINION © Thursday Al7 June 24,11999 Congress EndorsesTen Commandments, Ducks Tougher Gun Control WASHINGTON— It is just as well that CLARENCE PAGE Congress voted down Rep. Henry Hyde's attempt to ban the distribution of “obscenelyviolent” materials to minors. The Illinois Republican's measure was too strong where it should have been weak and too weak where it should have Loveit orhateit, do Americans really shouldsee a movie like this? One person's obscenityis anotherperson's Oscar. Are AN ENTIRE SUBWAY TRAIN OF BRAIN-DEAD CONGRESSMEN WAS DISCOVERED TODAY... parents, particularly after Littleton’s wake-up call, not better equipped than Congress to decide what shouldbeavailableto their children? Nevertheless, even conservatives be- violencevarious media routinelysend out to America’s youth. Nevertheless, Hyde’s defeated amendment to the juvenile crimebill was thoughtful and restrained compared to some of the dozensof other amendments that the House passed as amendments toa come government interventionists when theyfeel the hot breath of an anxious and angrypublic ontheir necks. So, not to be CHICAGO TRIBUNE SERVICE caughtfailing to do something, the House nightmare. Towiggle aroundthe Consti- passed a “sense of Congress” resolution by an overwhelming 355-68 vote as a tution’s protections of free speech, it de- mildei piction of an actual or simulated display It called on Congress to “do evi hing in its power to stop these portrayals of pointless acts ofbrutality by immediately juvenile justice bill. If you guessed that the murderous rampage at ColumbineHighinLittleton, fined “violent” material as a “visual de- of, or a detailed verbal description or Colo., touchedoff this frenzy ofdebate and legislation, you would berighton target narrative account of a sadistic or mas: ochisticflagellation by or upon a person, torture by or upona person, acts of muti. lationof the humanbody, or rape.” drawing nea “Iegislators on bothsides oftheaisle hi ave scurried in search of what a frustrated Oops! Could this be the end of teens witnessing the R-rated “Saving Private Rep. Louise M. Slaughter, D.-N.Y., called “solutions in searchof problems.” Mostof the House debate pivoted on one either-or question: whether to blame Ryan,” even if accompaniedbyan adult? school shootings on too manygunsor too Would that be a federal crime? Not to worry, Hyde insisted. He also included an eption whenthe material, as a whole, side youwereon, there was plentyoftime for posturing. After much debate, the House voted down Hyde's proposal to has “literary, artistic, political or scien. tific value” for minors. All of which leads back to the old, troubling question: Who is to decide what has literary, artistic, political or scien little morality, particularlyreligious morality, in the lives of our kids. Whichever 3 ia point want the government to determine who been strong. It was too strong to avoid infringing on e speech and too weak to swing more than a glancing blowat the avalanche of With summer rec movie's artistic point, insofar as it had a outlawthe sale of obscenely violent mate: rial to children. Noble as the amendment might have been inits intent, it poseda constitutional tific value? As jaded as I am, I was ap: palled by the violence in “Natural Born ( Yet, its seeminglygratuitous vi ssential part of the native to Hyde’s amendment eliminating gratuitous violence in movies, television, music andvideo games.” Oh? What exactly is “in its power’ Well, they could pass an amendment to permit states to display the Ten Com mandments in public places, and so they did. Let's hope the Senatekills the embarrassing measure before it goes any further, Evenif the question of whose version of the Ten Commandments is to be posted (the Catholic, the Protestant orthe Jewish version?), the measure is not likely to survive a First Amendment challenge The Supreme Court ruledasimilar effort unconstitutional 18 yearsago. Most of the votes for these measures camefromthe many Republicans andfew Democrats who were willing to try anything but tougher controls on guns moved to build more jail problemseems to have move! to urbs (juvenile violence national!s clined in recent years), many ihe even though that is precisely the remedy most Americans. particularly suburban women, seem to want since Littleton, Capitol Hill staffers fromboth parties say God nothing to eat. In Norway, for example, there are precisely three dishes: salmon with dill, salmon with new potatoes and dill, and lutefisk, which is some sort of herring pickled in lye or something. No- MICHAEL KELLY body eats tion that the cuisine of southern New the Jersey makes to this great nation. Simply put, the food of the Jersey Shore is what My advice to Congress: Don’t just do something, stand there. Thinka little. The reasons for youth violence are many. When the problem mostly was seen as a problem for the poor menu protocol is to nevercall anything “small.” The least large pizza, for in In southern New ismbetterrepresentedthan at the Jersey Shore. There, drawing upon the foods of both Philadelphia and New York, genera horse-drawn carriages, is not a rowdy place, but in gustatory terms, the charge ofgentility is a slander, Cape May eaters can stand, or sit, with the best of them. able to choose from all of the above, and then some, all of the time. There are en. that is as simple in context as it is glorious tire nations where there is practically gration from theBritishIsles. tions of eaters have perfected a cuisine inpractice. The Jersey Diet takes the most site direction. A small serving of ice cream, for example, comprises two large scoops. If you want one scoop, you have to ask for thejunior, orchild's, portion. fy notentirely in keeping with the healthy eating dictates of the United States De partment of Agriculture food pyramid, on eating range at the shore centers around Cape May, which has areputation which pancakes with melted peanut but ter and chocolate syrup do not appear for being somewhat more refined than, say, Wildwood. It is true that Cape May, Well, this is true, and cheesesteaks have their price. There are people one sees on the Wildwood boardwalk, offer. labor ing from Italian sausage stand to fried dough stand, who are food pyramids. But 1 will citejust one example of what the restaurants of Cape May siz first. with the addition of melted peanut butter. In its busiest periods, says owner Michael Tramutolo, Dock Mike's sells probably 200 or 300 orders of each of these dishes every week. That. I think. should put to rest the canard of ¢ ssive refinement It may be argued that the Jersey Diet is four-cheese fried ravioli. In most places, French; in Italy, Italian; in Spain, Spz to anybody how muchbetter it is to be rolls, springrolls, lobster rolls, a bow! of Texas red, also a bowl of crawfish double-sizes them. The ideal Jersey lunch consists of a cheesesteak, a pirogi, and ish; and so on. All of whichis fine and good, but it doesn’t seem to have occurred stuff all the time. In France, the slice. Also for nachos grandes,pulled pork barbecue, fried dumplings, California puts them all on the same menu, and with its Victorian mansions and its fra diavolo, some tapas, an empanada and anice knishto round things out Over there, everybody eats the same gives the dis nature pancake dishes. Thefirst « misist of a stackofthree plate sized cake each coveredin melted chocolate and the whole topped with whipped cream and chocolate morsels, The second is the same us thi fattening foods that eachethnicity offers stance, is a “regu ofa Hill favored by charter boaters, Nowhere is this uplifting egalitarian etouffee, a dozen clams casino, anything they get so terribly lonely for pizza bythe We do things differently here. We have fille cerning diner a choice between two Jersey, the euphemisms run in the oppo: THE WASHINGTON POST WRITERS GROUP est regard, is afood court. One of the reasons that Americans do not make very good expatriates is that onlytwo dishes. Wit iting enough of either ong fom Capitol and the inner city, Congress never met a food we didn’t like. Other nations worry about being overrunby alien hordes. We say: Give us the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, andtell them to bring their recipes with them, We only object to the influx of those peoples who possess no good recipes, which is why, quite properly, we restrict immi. Americais all about. At one time, patriotic tubthumpers loved to speak of the United States as a melting pot, and these days theycall it a rainbowor a mosaicor whatever, but all .of these metaphors miss thepoint of the glory of the whole American experiment What we are, and I say this withthe high lutefisk, soasa practical matter Not Gun Capitol Hill rally that featured House Majority Whip Tom DeLay, R-Texas. That either-or message is part of the preoblenm Too many of America’s youth nev gun controls and better moral y their lives. Unfortunately, they're pot Americans Take Their New World Order ‘To Go, Please’ WASHINGTON Here at the Center for Food in the Public Interest, we have been dining a good deal lately, as is our custom this time of year, at the Jersey Shore, and we wouldlike to take this opportunity to recognize the great contribu- the Bible and anythingelse but guns That puts many gun-control opponents in a box, and many are try Bible or Hollywood-bashing to get out of it. minorities sub le same legislators want to talk about movies, they labor free and proud, and eat on in Dock the noble tradition of the world’s only omnivorous republic Mike's, which is a fine breakfast place AIR bucT CLEANING EET eere oe Sie cat Duct Pros AIR ea ahaa: Las ee ea 355- Peer ES a | “Hot dogs, hamburgers and great low rates.’ Kae 32 West 200 South, SLC, UT | Theee Wena Store When this Fourth of July brings tne together, you indepe Local Edition and relatives can celebrate a different kind of an extra car from Hert Whenever you need an extra set of wheels, Hertz Local Edition yht into your holiday ! neighborhood, just give about ng enough potato b 3-Day Weekend Special | Compact Car Economy Rate M15" a day Total $47.94 Local Edition: Jone Call 1-800-704-4473 or a location listed below. 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