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Show TheSalt Lake Tribune OPINION Friday, july 11, 1997 The Family’s Generational Interdependence COKIE ROBERTS STEVEN ROBERTS is paramountin your children’s lives, and that they are now well and truly grownups, forces us to grow up in a whole new plied. But these aren't tears of sadness, way. These are just sentimental tears, evoked by the movies playing on the backs of our eyelids of little people dancing into our lives and lovingly growing into adults. the wrenching crying that comes from loss. We know those tears all too well As we pack for our son's wedding, we think ofall the other times we sawhimoff on new adventures. Then we were the ones pushing him out into what he saw as It would be easier to see them offif dearlife, the first day of nursery school. We remember thevisiting days at camp they weren't really going off, if they were living somewhere nearby. But it’s London for our son, San Francisco for our daughter. We can't complain, our mothers are the wide world. We rememberhis little blond head burrowed into Cokie’s leg, holding on for when he begged to come home with us. We remember how muchhehatedfor us UNITED FEATURES WASHINGTON — “With our children getting married and our parents dying, does that mean no onewill be dependent on us anymore?” Thatplaintive question posed recently by one of our middle-aged contemporaries took us by surprise. We hadn't really thought of that question as we mark ail these milestones, But, now that ourfriend’s raised the question, we find ourselves swallowing hard as we witness the declarations of independence from us that our children's marriages herald. It's not that we want them to be dependent, of course. How many members of the “sandwich generation” have be- moaned the fact that they are squeezed by family demands of both the younger and older generations? We can count our blessings. Andit's not as if we need our children to feel needed. We have many obligations at work, in the community, to friends, and to our living, healthy wonderful mothers. ut still, cutting the ties that bind — being forced to recognize that someone else quick to tell us, as we did exactly the same thing as young newlyweds. We're lucky in this moment, as in so many earlier ones, that we can look to our parents’ example as we adjust to a new stage of to leave on worktrips, or just evenings out. In those years, we worked hard to foster a sense of independence, to help him grow wings. And, of course, he did, The teen-age years inevitably arrived, with all their charm and grace. Then, with somerelief, we delivered him to college, followed look at these people who usedtobechil- dren, our children, and we look at each other and say, with some amazement — soon by his sister, who will follow him soon into marriage later this summer. Our nest has been empty for some time. But even at a distance, even as young adults, they werestill our children. We NEWSDAY NEW YORK — TheSenate committee investigating campaign finance opened its hearings Tuesday and immediately assumed the attitude of a distinguishedlooking group in hip boots and surgical warding and important task anyoneever These newbeginnings are momentous build a long-term Republican congressional majority, it turned out that he is. ial in contrast, but poignant nonetheless. can answer our friend's question. ignore the wedge issues and develop mag- They will go off to new families where the whole evening. “Are you goingto be crying all week?” age, Then they, and we, might be faced they won't be dependent on us anymore dependent on them. Pa., persisted roboticallyin the pretense that the onlything that brought them to of them arrived in the Senate after cam- this hearing was the fact the Clinton White House hadplayed dirtyin an elec: tion in which Republicans, by embarrassingly wide margins, raised more money — hard, soft, corporate, tobacco-tainted, paigns in which they were typically forced to go through the disgusting humiliation of raising $5 million from rich tycoonsand subsidy-seeking interests and then pretend they owed them nothing but good government and an occasionally re- foreign-connected and influence-seeking, The China card was played aggressively. with Specter ominously suggesting they were about to lift the lid on crimes that carrya life sentence, possibly even the death penalty, and Susan Collins, RMaine, wondering sweetly what other na- Susan, I despair of what they think about domestic sugar barons, indigenous agribusiness moguls, |iomegrown tobacco manufacturers and aboriginal Wall Street moneybags running our politics. Sen, Carl Levin, D-Mich., suggested it isn’t illegal money that has polluted Americanpolitics, “It's what's legal,” he said. “It’s what's allowed.” Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill, said “the problem is not foreign money; it's good old American money.” So take your pick of what makes you swoon in horror: the possibility the Chinese made a clumsyand ineffectual attempt to influence an American election. or the certainty that domestic moneyed comer WASHINGTON — Thespeaker of the House knows hedid not have a great first half in 1997. It began with his colieagues Nickels, R-Okla., and Arlen Specter, R- Earnestly as they proceeded, you had to keep reminding yourself that the stench was nothing newto them, that each interests have been buying and selling them for years. We maynot be sure of what the Chinese wereup to or how competentlytheyacted, But anyidiot can see the direct connection between huge contributions from the ethanolindustry and congressional votes for their tax subsidies paid direct from the U.S, Treasury positive issues where the Democrats in order to compete either have to give uptheir ideology or give up THE WASHINGTON POST with another tough change —we might be Steve teased. ‘No, all summer,” she re- to finance our elections. ioe Fanna nets they will, please God, grow into middle greatest democracy,” allowing foreigners The assistance Ake where it’s needed most... “The key for the Republican Party is to No. As weate thelast dinner with our son as an unmarried man in his childhood home, Cokie foundherself with tears in her eyes tions would think of us, “the world’s Clinton vetoed the disaster relief bill, but wae in thinking that he could be a Rayburn in reverse, byusing Clinton's tenureto help terrific, theterrific people who are marrying them think so too. So, there are tears of thanks as well. Now that we've thought about it, we — the endings that accompanythem triv: selectively sanitized and strained for those nuggetsof offensethat give sewage a bad name. When I asked Gingrich if heis serious and prejudiced parents who think they’re belongto their spouses. The committee was led by Republican Fred Thompson of Tennessee, who soldiered bravely in the posture that this was a bipartisan hanging even as Don tank whosecontents they pretend can be revolution swept Capitol Hill good people. And it’s not just us proud had arrived safely, Now that privilege, and the worry until they get there, will turned phonecall. survived the Eisenhower years andpersisted right until 1994, when the Gingrich DAVID BRODER takes on, we raised our children to be were the people they called to say they masks wading fastidiously into a septic Newt Makes Odd Comparison we didit! We managed the mostdifficult and re- People Buy D.C. Influence? So What Else is New? ROBERT RENO = AANTEWAEmaisonattae life. There's somethingelsethat makes the goodbyes easier: a senseof succes: e voting a formal reprimand and a penalty of $300,000 for his violation of House ethics rules. It ended with widespread theirallies. When weofferbetter alternatives, we draw the country, and even draw Clinton, away from the Democrats.”’ Those “magnet issues” include, in his view, cutting and eventually eliminating criticism within Republican ranks of the taxes on savings, investments and inheritances; school choice; andincentives for church-based charities to take over wel- bungled flood-relief bill and rumbles of fare and other human service programs. ants But Newt Gingrich saysthat things are regaining its House majority, he said. dissension amonghis leadership lieutenlooking up for him and his party. The one-time history professor has found a role model you never would have imag- ined: Sam Rayburn. Yes; that Sam Rayburn. Mr, Sam, the legendary Texan who was speaker of the House from 1940until his death in 1961, with just two two-year breaks when Republicans had a majority. Thad barely begun a pre-Independence Dayinterview in Gingrich’s office when he hit me with the seemingly outlandish comparison. “You look at Rayburn operating in 1955-56 with a similarly small majority against (President) Eisenhower and you find a certain level of turmoil,” Gingrich said, by way of explaining the outbreaks of fratricide among his charges. “Northern liberal Democrats often werefighting with Southern conservative Democrats. His job was to hold them all together andto maneuver against a presi- dent with considerable personal skills who had a high popularity rating. And in the process, Rayburn shattered the Republican Party. Because he was able to distance Eisenhower from his party and define the Republican Party in ways that wereunsustainable, this (the Republican leader's) office remained the minorityoffice for 40 years. Gingrich’s history is impeccable. Ray- burn and his Texas partner, Senate Ma- jority Leader Lyndon B. Johnson, were so skillful in alternately accommodating and challenging Eisenhower, while outmaneuvering congressional Republicans, that the House Democratic majorities “Thosewill create fissures within the Democratic Party” that will keepit from The problem for Gingrich is not just that he lacks Rayburn’s reputation for personal probity and that twice as many disapprove of his job performanceas approveit. It is also that his party keeps finding itself on the losing side of the fights it picks with Clinton. Take the tax bill the House and Senate are now com pleting. Almost every poll shows large majorities of the public accept Clinton's argument that the GOP tax cuts aretilted to the wealthy. Nonetheless, Gingrich says he would hate to be in Clinton’s shoes. Why? Because Clinton is insisting that the $500-per-child tax credit be paid evento the working poor, whose income-tax liability is erased by the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) r Gingrich told me, “ giving morewelfare to peoplewhopay no taxes vs. cutting taxes for people who pay them, my guess is that’s about 80-20 in our favor. We can stay onthis fight all summer. Andif he wantsto veto thefirst tax cut in 16 years, he'll find it very hard to pull off. » That wasthe sameconfidence that Re. publicans had when they put the anti-gov ernment shutdownrider onto the flood emergency relief bill. Then, too, they thought the public would rise up in pro test if Clinton vetoed thebill. They could not have been more wrong. Clintondeftly madethe Republicans the scapegoats for delaying needed relief. 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