Show family Make way for my teen driver A streetwise parent painfully resigns himself to the passenger seat By Richard Price ery few things in life excite boys probably because they’re so exhausted from the never-endistraggle to be cool But if I glance out the window and say “Hey look at that car” my son criwill leap up and rattle off a ng Kids his to are age bumper tique bumper energized by anything with a motor and wheels vacuum cleaners excepted the first guy in Shane’s the Almighty Driver’s License the mood was electric His buddy’ pulled up in front of our house revving the engine and Shane dashed in redfaced and breathless grinning like he had the lottery “Dad can 1 take a just won nde with the guys downtown?” he gasped “We’re going to cruise around and check out the girls” I said no It was an awful moment for poor Shane Separating a teenage boy from the rest of the dudes is like ripping candy from a baby and w’hen compounded with missing a ride in a CWP (Car Without Parents) the effect was shattering His eyes crossed his face paled he babbled incoherently and then he disapexile to the peared on a wasteland we rail his bedroom I felt like a tat but what could I do? Confronted by the prospect of seeing Shane nde off with a kid whose greatest joy in life is the sound of a squealing tire I panicked It was the same feeling I had when Shane was 6 and I lost sight of his head for a second at the beach Of all the routine experiences parents undergo introducing teens to cars may be the most terrifying Ghastly statistics are part of it — more than 7500 teens 1 5 and over died in accidents last year But mosdy it’s because parents are devastat-ing!- y familiar with the oddities of the teenage mind We know in our bones that driving makes a lousy proving ground for admission to adulthood There’s more to learn than just the driving There’s the whole problem of genuinely accepting rales And even if vou trust your own child (who asked me this morning what would happen if he a car in miles reverse 50 at an hour) put So when crowd landed ed 1 doubt his friends will remind him to buckle up They’ll be too busy steering with their knees It won’t be long before he’ll be driving off without me Shane’s already eligible for a permit and he’s been making noises about taking the required driver-trainicourse Most of those noises involve my wallet which will have to come up with S250 for the course and that’s just the start The guy across the street looks like a broken man every time he talks about what it costs to insure the car for his He probably should count his blessings It has to be a bargain compared with what they’d charge if they knew his son’s opinion of turn signals And the moment will come when we let Shane cruise downtown It almost happened the day after I said no the first time I felt so guilty that I started telling myself I was being silly After all every parent has to let go eventually So the next night at dinner I put on look and anmy understanding-da- d nounced that in the future a few CWP rides probably would be all nght That drew a shocked look from my wife and I explained what had happened “Thank God you did say no!” Susan said “That was the kid who had the accident yesterday He totaled his car” You’ll be happy to know that the driver was uninjured But I’m a mess ng there’s the rest of the crowd to consider Example: the kid across the street He’s a careful driver but he failed his first driving test because as he explained to his examiner “I don’t believe in turn signals” My son’s reaction: “That’s stupid” But he wasn’t talking about his buddy’s driving He was talking about the examiner’s decision That’s common among Even when they agree with the rules they regard punishment for breaking them as an overreaction Part of my fear comes from memories — like the night I rode in a girlfriend’s road 1965 Charger on a roller-coastoutside Ithaca NY She was doing 118 mph when a guy in the back cupped his hands over her eyes and said “Guess er I remember hurtling who?” Ha-h- a down state Route 14 along Seneca Lake at 70 — with a friend riding on the roof And I remember another friend taking a banana curve at 80 singing Strawberry Fields and steering with his knees But when I told Shane these things to warn him against riding with fools (I always paint myself as the cautious one) what did he say? “They didn’t wear seat belts back then” As though that solved everything I didn’t even try responding Actually my expectations are so low that his mere mention of seat belts might have furnished me with a shred of comfort — if not for the fact that I always have to remind Shane to put his on Somehow 1 doubt that any of the dudes will bother reminding him for me They'll be too busy steering with their knees I’ve tried fighting my fear by taking Shane out on deserted roads in California’s wine country and giving him personal instruction Tips from the master that sort of thing We drive the van (the demands of being cool prohibit use of my 1974 Bomb) and I must say he does very well especially considering the pressure dad put on him by his anxiety-ndde- n But something worrisome always happens During our last ride we pulled onto a grassy shoulder so I could relax awhile and before the sweat had finished drying he was restless for more “Hey Dad let’s drive over there” he said So I looked Over There and discovered a rutted path that dropped down a mountainside and ended in a bog I just stared He said “It’ll be fun” Richard Pncc a USA TODAY editor in Santa Rosa Calif has this to look forward to four more kids waiting for their turn behind the wheel USA WEEKEND November 23-2- 5 1990 21 |