Show THE THREEFOLD GIRL copyright 1898 by the bok syndicate gei new york tort it seems to be the prevalent idea among american parents that girls need only mental guidance in this age that it the daughter of the family is only given a chance to study and has her mind crammed with knowledge her future is assured if you tell them that their daughter is a three fold being with a moral and a a physical nature which needs careful guidance they will assure you that church influences and good companions surround her morally and that as she is endowed with excellent health there is no anxiety about her physically in consequence of this one and shortsighted influence ot of parents we have a vast number of astonishingly well educated girls as far as book education goes who are erratic hysterical ailing and totally unfitted for the exigencies exi exigencies gencie s and demands of w wifehood and maternity when these relations come to her beside this our daily papers teem with accounts of girls who stay away from home in moods of melan melancholy chol or who permit themselves to be ama kidnapped P by vicious people or who conceive morbid and unaccountable passions for coachmen and inferiors or otherwise develop propensities as distressing as unexpected to theia loving but blind parents the moral nature of a girl needs something more than a sunday service to prepare it for the exactions of duty morality means more than keeping the ten commandments A man may be driven to marital unfaithfulness and children to and folly through the door of a disorderly and uncomfortable home the religious convert who attends church service with holes in her stockings and rags on her underwear leaving an untidy room behind her is not on the road to correct moral training order was heavens first law and it should be the first lesson taught a child especially a girl not by scolding and preaching but by persistent example cheerful tact and frequent praise now and then a grown person may be taught a memorable lesson by a round scolding but I 1 doubt if it ever taught a child anything except distaste for the neglected duty and the scolder I 1 once knew a man who by a series of misfortunes shipwreck illness and loss had become very poor he was reduced to one suit of clothes which he wore many months while seeking for employment yet he always bore the appearance of a well dressed gentleman indeed In deel he failed to obtain one position for which he applied during his dark days a position much below his station on the grounds that he was too well dressed after he again grasped the reins of prosperity I 1 asked him how he had managed to present such an appearance during that time it was all due cue to my early training he said A more careless disorderly child than I 1 never lived my mother saw this and made it her duty to ove overcome reome the habit no servant was ever allowed to hang up or brush a garment lor for me after afier I 1 reached a reasoning age I 1 was taught how to fold hang and care for my clothing and I 1 was quietly told that I 1 could have no replenishing of my wardrobe until I 1 learned to take proper care of what I 1 had if through hurry burry or laziness I 1 wore a creased and dusty garment out among my playfellows play fellows my mother expressed her mortification at seeing me present such an appearance and I 1 was shamed into tidiness while an orderly act met with her warm praises As I 1 grew older my own pride came to the rescue and spurred me to the care of my belongings and it has proven a priceless ri celess blessing to me all my life afif if this habit of neatness was so valuable to a man how much more valuable is it to a woman for on woman depends the comfort of an orderly home an untidy woman is a monstrosity to me A fervent young convert recently asked me to tell her how she could become more like CAh christ rist by darning your stockings hanging up your clothes and keeping your room in order so that your parents are not ashamed to have it seen by D visitors I 1 replied he that is faithful faithful in little is faithful in much show your love for christ by making those about you comfortable and happy and no one can be comfortable or happy with a slatternly woman about it is not only in the visible results of material comfort that a girl is benefited by this training but the habit of systematic thought will follow her through all the small and great matters of life disorderly habits produce a disorderly mind and conduct mans moral and social relations to the world are such that we are liable to forget that he is an animal especially do we torget it in regard to young girls while they roll in the sand and bake mud pies in the sun as children and roar with hunger we speak of them laughingly as vig vigorous rous young animals ap but when their swelling forms and blushing cheeks and drooping lids denote that the child is developing into the maiden we torget and ignore the animal nature and think of them as divine beings with growing minds yet never was there a time in a girls career when the animal nature needed such thought and careful direction by wise wise parents and guardians as dun during na the few years which bridle bridge child childhood hoo and womanhood aside from r rom wise and discreet counsels a young girls time and mind should be fully occupied during in g those years to simply crowd her brain with a multiplicity of studies will not do there is an excess of physical vitality which must be considered the air she breathes the nourishment she imbibes imbiber im bibes the sleep she takes are all combining to supply her with the magnetic and electric qualities which form the perfect woman you note her expanding beauty her increased vivacity and you are delighted but remember such changes do not take place without disturbed emotions and an excited imagination outdo r duties or games in the country and gymnasium work in the town indulged in sufficiently to produce a pleasant fatigue are a great promoter of balance and an outlet for this extra supply of vital vitality t such exercise should be imposed with wit religious earnes earnestness earnesta tn ess by all judicious J U di inious i parents I 1 believe the old fashioned prejudice against dancing ancin has been productive of more physic physical and moral disaster in the world than all the high kicking ever done in our thea tres I 1 have known an hysterical girl suffering from insomnia and all manner of nervous troubles to become normal and strong simply by dincin dancing g vigorously half an hour every evening before retiring oh pshaw you say let lei nature take her course she will set matters right in her own time my dear madam or sir you vou should pause and analyze the meaning of your words your developing child is a rowing growing animal but to let nature take t eer er course would be inconsistent with the social and moral obligations resting upon her natures impulses are the same from insects up to man but man must govern impulse by reason and judgment unless he wishes to be only an AI an mal iral instead of the highest express ion of divinity yet evolved from animal lile life therefore instead of letting nature take its course you must direct natures impulses by wisdom and care into healthful channels A avert overwrought imaginations and 1 1 excited nerves by a systematic course of exercise which produces thorough circulation of the blood give her pleasures suited to her age and divert her mind from dwelling too much upon herself let her be fatigued enough to sleep when she retires and see to it that she gets up as soon as she awakens nothing gives my daughter such pleasure as to lie and dream said a blind mother to me once she is is no hand for outdoor romps like other girls just give her a book and a lounge and she will be happy all day long it would be better for her health to romp outdoors and read less I 1 suggested oh she is in excellent health she never has an ache or pain that languid way is natural to such dreamy tempera ments I 1 fancy if I 1 had told that mother what was the nature of the dreams I 1 read in her young daughters eyes she would have shown me the door but let me beg of you to be alert and avoid allowing your daughter to form this habit of languorous daydreams day dreams it is is more fascinating than any outdoor sport once formed and more enervating in than the hardest labor many a weakly ek y woman might trace her ailments back to this period of luxurious imagination in her youths dawn but I 1 never recollect any such dangerous period in in my life or any such diseased imagination you tell me quite likely girls of the olden time were not brought up in such ease and luxury as are the girls of today household duties and the care of of younger children devolved upon the daughters of the household instead of upon ser and nursemaids nurse maids as in the present time then too you may have been one of the exceptions to the rule but remember that it is unsafe to expect your daughter to be exactly like you she has a paternal inheritance many a calm practical mother forgets that the fathers fiery or poetic nature may of right light descend to her daughter and that it needs a more careful guarding than did her own and the strangest fact of all is that the father forgets or ignores this also it is well to keep the fact before his eyes it is well to make him realize that a certain amount of social amusement where games and dancing predominate among carefully selected companions is a necessity to the physical and moral well being of his daughter call his attention to the fact that a tightly closed vessel of boiling steam explodes and causes devastation and destruction if it has no outlet A human being developing into vigorous maturity is like this vessel and the outlet for a portion of the surging vital forces should be made in healthful pleasures and amusements when your daughter reaches the age of twelve years at latest you should instruct her that it is not modest to allow gentlemen guests and friends to take tier her upon their knees and caress her let no false idea of keeping her a child as long as possible render you careless in this matter and do not make the foolish blunder of thinking that all your men friends are perfect gentlemen who could not entertain an unworthy thought toward your daughter in your quiet domestic role you know very little of what is going on in in the minds of men you think of your twelve year old daughter as a child they think of the woman she is soon to be their thoughts and feelings are contagious conta lous one of the most carefully reared and severely chaperoned girls I 1 ever knew told me that her first knowledge of evil came to her at the age of thirteen through a lifelong friend of her family a man old enough to be her grandfather and a man occupying occupying a high social position while s she e was not allowed to associate with boys of her own age she was permitted to receive the caresses of this fine old family friend until her own modesty gave the alarm you can an idea of dignity and womanly reserve into your little daughters mind about these matters without destroying her innocence but even if you must startle her somewhat out of her childlike ignorance and freedom of conduct it is better that the experience should come through you than through the men who frequent your house make yourself her confidant that she may avoid revealing herself in ignorance to dangerous companions of either sex you tell me with great dignity and some severity that your daughter is not allowed to associate with dangerous companions of either sex that you know ner her mates thoroughly and they are ex young people my dear madam your words are empty air you know no more of the secret thoughts and feelings of your daughters mates than you know of the man in mars you might be startled and shocked should you think aloud in your presence once they are not vicious but they are in the unformed chaotic state of which I 1 am trying to warn you in in regard to your own daughter and their min sled ed curiosity ignorance ignorance and dawning knowledge now ledge render them unsafe con confidants fi for one another unless there is a sympathetic wise counsellor back of them again your dignity asserts itself and you tell me your daughter has no curiosity on forbidden subjects and no dawning knowledge and no dangerous impulses then dear madam your daughter is not a normal being she is not in good health she is an anaemic to build buil her into a woman fitted for domestic duties she needs iron tonics and blood foods the world will be much better off when we get over the romantic idea that a young girl is an angelic creature who communes with seraphs in the privacy of her room and who is to be guarded to the very altar steps from any knowledge of evil such girls sometimes exist but they are not normal beings and they do not make good wives and mothers and again girls who have shown what you ou would term a precocious tendency to vicious thought have when properly guarded and guided over the dangerous chasm made ideal wives and the most perfect mothers later in life the wise mother when discovering this tendency in in a young girl does not strive to scold punish and shame her into reform she does not say to her this is a poison weed root it out of your mind at once pray to god to aid you in casting out this noxious weed instead she says this is the root of a beautiful vine god implanted which b by and by will make your life sweet az and fair but if you misuse it now it will be dwarfed or hideous think of it with reverence and pray god to guide it wisely in its growth then she gives her plenty of healthful bookston books to read and bough nough study and occupies all her leisure time with physical exercise mingled with agreeable companionship until nature has accomplished its revolutionary revolutionary ution lutio nary ary work and the chaotic period has passed and the girl is a woman but alas and alas for the scarcity of such mo matheis theis s the average american girl dwells alone with her imagination and the confidences fi of equally unwise companions through these years exposed to all the dangerous freedom of association with the flapping wings of our american agle proclaim to all ail the world to be her right if she goes wrong in ever so slight a measure her parents are crushed to the earth by surprise and sorrow but that she ever goes right is an increasing wonder to me the more I 1 see of the world and the deeper I 1 study human nature indeed it speaks well for the level head and the good heart of the american girl that so few comparatively speaking make serious mistakes but this is due to her own innate worth and not to the wisdom of her parents ELLA WHEELER WILCOX |