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Show THE THUNDERBIRD SUSC TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 1989 PAGE 5 Adults are PEOPLE, TOO COMMENTARY by MIKE SLIZEWSKI Mrs, Dog died; Satan lives Rudy found Minon Corrys dog dead in the field by our house a while back. The incident provoked a flurry of questions in his mind. Where do dogs go when they die? Is there a dog heaven? How did God make himself? Can I have a treat? I was only able to answer the last one firmly and with conviction. A few days later, he and his friend Christopher Thornton decided to play mailman. They wrote letters, each of which consisted of only the name of the neighbor who was to receive the letter. The letters were stuffed in envelopes on which Rudy had drawn stamps, put in Albertsons plastic mailbags, and delivered around the neighborhood on bike and scooter. I told them this practice was illegal, since the only organization allowed to put letters or anything else in peoples mailboxes was the U.S. Postal Service. I am that, Rudy explained. Mail delivery took up most of an afternoon, and the next day they decided to expand the game a bit. They decided they would go into the publishing business and put out a newspaper. To keep the overhead low, Rudy and Chris raided my office for blank typewriter paper and writing utensils. The entire issue consisted of one sensational sentence: Mrs. Dog Died. They then carefully rolled their first editions and secured them with dirty green Spectrum rubber bands, converted the Albertsons mailbags to newspaper sacks, and set off again on bike and scooter to get the papers to their customers on time. Other than the time element, they emulated our paperboy, throwing their publications in all the neighbors yards, trying their best to hit wet spots or dog droppings or have them fall behind bushes (where they would be either lost or irretrievable). Unfortunately for Rudy and Chris reputation, however, most of them landed on dry ground in plain sight. Lynn Cardozo called a little later to thank Rudy for the new service, and expressed interest in the single news item, which confused her somewhat. Rudy explained that he didnt know how to spell the name Minon, so he left it out of the story, inserting Mrs. in its place. Hmmm. Sounds to me like some journalists I know on deadline. Hey, I should call to ask the Parowan City attorney for a response on this issue. Nah. Hes probably busy or out of the office. Oh, well, I know what he probably would have said. Type, type, type. (This happened once to a reporter who is no longer in the area. The funniest part of the story, though, was the fact that the city attorney was absent from that particular meeting, and the writer in a fit of let on to her editor that she had actually involuntary not been at the meeting she was writing about either. She had to admit it after the city attorney called to say hed been out of town. Of course, she had the last laugh. Her willingness to go for the jugular at all times without corroborating hard facts eventually led her to a job on a bigger newspaper.) Anyway, another neighbor, Florence Wolfram, who was just barely getting over a broken leg, almost rebroke it when she stooped over to pick up the kids newspaper, read the sentence Mrs. Dog Died, and panicked, fearing it was a cryptic threat from a satanic cult. If you read the Spectrum , you are well aware that there is a proliferation of these evil cults in the area, and if you dont keep your kids inside at all times, garlic hanging from their necks and crosses from their ears, they will quickly meet some dastardly demonic demise over in Cane Beds or somewhere. Believe me, I know what Im talking about, folks. This is not scare tactics. 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