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Show THE THUNDERBIRD MONDAY NOVEMBER 7, 1988 5 PACE MADE FRESH DAILY! OUPON r This is the only time each year when procrastinators look good because the entire nation except Arizona just went off Daylight Savings Time, and all those people who are chronically late for everything haven't got around to turning their clocks back yet. So they're showing up everywhere almost an hour early for a change, to their friends' complete confusion. I'm philosophically chronically late. In fact, when sat down to type this column it occurred to me might already be finished. And in keeping slightly out of step with the concept of time, thought that, with the deer season just now over, it would be appropriate to tell you why hate fishing. I've used a lot of stock excuses in the pat: Worms have feelings too, I'm afiaid I'!1 prick myself with the hook and so blood; when crave ,sh and there'!, no supermarket in sight, it's much easier to throw a stick of d .a" ft ;n the lake and choose thp fi, rest specimens as thev come tlo .r.g b.r k o )vn to the urface; have the pntienr e of Job. OK, the rtji reasot N a lot more emoarrci'-.g, especially vhwi you consider it's a rejection of m ar.ee, tra! ro.ession. ou see, m Polish the name Slizewski means 'son oi a loach iisherman." A loach is an Old World, carp-lik- e freshwater tish that s full o, bones and ro too tasty. It you want to swear at someone in Poland, you call him a son of a loach," the loach being inferior even to the female dog there. According to Shakespeare, this fish is also quite prolific. (Now that sounds like fun sometimes it's better to be fish than fisherman, although then you've got a bunch of little fish swimming around in to take care of.) Not that my ancestors were walking on the end of a Polish name means "son of," and curses. The "denotes royalty in the Old Country," was once told in a most woman. condescending manner by a rich gentile (i.e., Just think! America's football teams are packed with oversized noblemen. This is all well and good, but alas, it has nothing to do with my problem. Hating to fish with a name like Slizewski is like not being true to your school. It all goes back to my first fishing expedition on a sunny summer day when was 8. We were in the Adirondacks me, my younger brother Steve, my dad and his friend Ernie Rack (who had very bFfter feelings toward people with a liberal arts degree; he said it was because the degree was useless, but we now know he simply didn't like the word "liberal" in the title). It wasn't very long before I got all by myself. I a bite, and in a flash, was pulling in a was so excited I almost threw up over the side. The exhilaration only lasted, however, until caught a very amused look my dad and Mr. Rack thought they had secretly exchanged. Sure, it was big. And Steve thought it was a cool fish. But it was a sucker. A bottom-feede- r. Garbage fish. Inedible. An aquatic ethnic joke. As useless as a liberal arts degree. Clouds rolled in, the sky went dark, and in a sudden burst, was unsecretly my dad and Mr. Rack's laughter flowed freely. crestfallen, and began to seriously question authority. When my dad saw how uoset was, he felt so had that he fried it up back at the campsite that night and ate the whole thing. Well, almost the whole thing. When he had one bite left, said, "OK, Dad, you don't have to eat any more of it." That was close to 30 years ago, and my life has been on a downward spiral ever since. always forget to set my clock back until the second week of November, causing annual confusion among my friends. People that barely know me will drive 50 miles uphill to tell me a Polack joke can already recite backwards. After 18 vears of trying, I'm finally getting a degree. But it's a B.S., "L word" degree. am utterly shameless at getting people to do whatever want through strategic use of pity. And worst of all, there are serious doubts about still hate to fish. The angling expedition my manhood taught me one valuable lesson, though: If at first you don't succeed give up. 8v I Mike fishes for pity just in time WDGE I I SUSC BOOKSTORE I ugh I -- I $ N hand-me-dow'- A CEDAR AUTO SUPPLY 85 WEST CENTER STODENT SPECIAL! r SILVERLINE 3 YEAR BATTERY I a ! 0NLY$3H5 non-Polis- "THE POWER 6 YEAR BATTERY? I I er D I I I ONLY ONLY AT CEDAR AUTO SUPPLY, 65 W CENTER I I I I I BUY A MINI OR LARGER I DR A.F. RICH, OPTOMETRIST 60 NORTH MAIN 586-888- 1 QUALITY EYE CARE SINCE 1958 25 DISCOUNT ON ALL SERVICES AND MATERIALS TO STUDENTS, FACULTY AND STAFF AND THEIR FAMILIES YEAR ROUND. FRIENDLY, CARING, EXPERIENCED, WITH COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY AND GET TWO SCOOPS OF TOPPING FREE! OFFER EXPIRES NOV. 30, 1988 f I AM TO AM TO 11 PM HOURS: MON THURS FRI SAT 10 10 CLOSED SUNDAYS 570 SOUTH MAIN STREET 10 586-23- 23 PM |