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Show Tfie Tfiuiuicrhirtf p. Jtm'V JC'..--J s9' ,Ja. Happy Holidays! BY STEVE YATES "nunUMH-VTlfr- fofpORTSMENS ' approaching one of the most difficult and traumatic times of the year. No, its not the upcoming and much dreaded Finals Week of which I speak, although that is a fairly major headache unless youre properly prepared (I.E. proper deposits in your teachers numbered Swiss bank accounts). Im talking about, of course, Christmas. Now most of us know, or at least have vague suspicions, that Christmas has become little more than a type of bribe to get people to be nice to one another for a change. Or else, worse yet, it has become an excuse to gain material wealth to get things. At this point, some of you may be saying, Now hold on just a minute there. I get more pleasure from giving than receiving isnt that the spirit of Christmas? Sure it is. Just ask any store owner who, two months before Christmas, raises the price of his merchandise by 1 5 percent, then, two weeks before Christmas, knocks off 10 percent and calls it a P A W'e are fast a year. If you need an excuse, vee all heard enough about how artificial and hypocritical Christmas has become. There are plenty of malcontents running around telling us that the true spirit of Christmas has been lost under gaudy wrapping paper, the ring of cash registers, and the cry of I want. I dont want to be one of those people who tells you that you shouldnt enjoy Christmas I just want to make fun of it, and all that goes with it. Im not worried about Santa crossing me off his list. As far as food goes, Christmas is like Thanksgiving a nightmare. I need not mention the horrors of Holiday Fruit Breads (which even Cheez-Logwhich are Hulk Hogan fears), and the senile a from Vermont mailed no one likes. Or how aunt usually by about those waxy chocolate Santa candies with the marshmallow whip inside? Does anyone e er eat these, or are they just passed from stocking to stocking, year after year? Speaking of stockings, did any of you ever really get a lump of coal in yours? I did. of course, I probably deserved it since I built a roaring fire in the fireplace on Christmas eve. I blame television. Really have you ever seen a Christmas commercial where there wasnt a lovely family lounging in front of a crackling fire? I got even with Santa the next year though by leaving the cookies intended for him in the cats litter box for a few hours before setting them out. I guess everyones done that though. No one leaves me a lump of coal and gets away with it. The next morning I saw that the cookies were gone, and laughingly told my dad of the deed. I still cant figure out why he turned white and ran into the bathroom. How many of you made Christmas tree decorations when you were in grade school, and your parents still insist on hanging them on the tree and embarrassing you? I made a Santa head out of an apple when I was in fourth grade, and every year it goes on the tree. Time has not been kind to it, and now it looks like a grisly corpse head with a red hat. The worst part of Christmas is trying to figure out what to get for people. It would be easier if, when you ask what they want, they didnt always say, Oh, theres really nothing I want. This year, anyone who tells me that they want nothing for Christmas is going to get just that. The only problem I foresee in that is trying to figure out where to get it wrapped. At least I know what I want for Christmas. Unfortunately, my mom thinks Im too old for Transformer robots. Ill probably wind up getting practical gifts instead. My parents idea of practical is socks and underwear, and maybe an Almanac. My grandparents ideas of practical is a matching set of wool mittens, hat and sweater with dancing snowmen on them. My idea of practical is a blank check, (hint, hint) wooly-heade- d ever-popul- FREE TRIP TO MAZATLAN, MEXICO M h J Yes, here comes Santa Claus again can last 365 days Piuje 5 - Cachectic Ohsermtoiy sale. Wise up guys giving you are lost. Well, Im sure that Morufav December 9, 1985 m ) WEDNESDAY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT. LADIES GET IN FREE! SO COME HAVE SOME q : CHRISTMAS CHEER WITH LOUNGE 900 SOUTH MAIN STREET CEDAR US. CITY Every Tuesday Night is NIGHT $4.00 December 10, 1985 Parking on North & South sides .V Jv '-- & " TfC "i ' ' U A 7 MENU ITEMS: Prime Rib Chicken Fry Halibut d B Q Sandwich Fish & Chips Salad Bar with meal 75c Mexican Combo , . THE CEDARS-RESTAURAN- T 365 SOUTH MAIN STREET 586-325- 0 jniiin II ill ili. II mn TTTIT T IT I T T TITTTI II Till IT IIIxY The Largest Video Rental Store in Cedar City. Over 1,500 titles. Rent a VCR& 3 movies DURING SPRING BREAK Last year we took over 10,000 students from over 200 college campuses to the sunny beaches of Mazatlan. We are looking for reps on your campus to work promoting this trip in their spare time in return for a free trip. The trip for Southern Utah State College is March 15 22, 1986. For more information call Jeanette or Debbi on our toll free watts line See you in MAZATLAN! U O with student I.D. Expires Dec. 19, 1985. Monday thru Thursday Only 586-114- 1 911 South Main Street Hours: 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Monday thru Friday |
