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Show ii2iitmuYti,(iu ,.9fr5AVjHi, fy yfr JfflVrinTi jiiMitTITi' iiWliWit rf m iH 1i femaW I: Bouton, a former Yankee pitcher, is now a sport scaster for CBS in New York. His first book, Pall Four, became a best seller after baseball Commissioner Bowie Kuhn colled Bouton in for a public scolding. As commissioner, Bouton promises to do the same favor for other ball players who write books. League baseball today gighealthy, undemocratic, is ... un-- Rj unsports-H- g MAIL? manlike, unimaginative, greedy, male chauvinistic, arrogant toward fans, unconcerned about the community, and unfair to midgets. As your baseball commissioner, I would fix all that. The first thing I'll do is double the commissioner's salary. It's important that the commissioner not be vulnerable to bribes and a new $300,000 salary and a liberal expense account will eliminate temptation on my part and suspicion on the part of fans who are the backbone of baseball. I think fans should be more closely involved in baseball. During each game, one fan should be allowed down on the field to play the position of his choice for one inning. This would add an element of surprise. Can the new player hit? Can he go to his left, etc. Thousands would come to the stadiums with bats and gloves, waiting to hear their names announced. Next, I'd eliminate the most outrageous injustice of all the rule against midgets. Years ago. Bill Veeck, when he was the owner of the St. Louis Browns, signed a midget named Eddie Gaedel to a big league contract, and pinch-h- it him one time against Bob Cain. The midget walked on four pitches and right after that, the league president, Will Harridge, made a rule against signing midgets. This is referred to as the Eddie Caedel rule, and it's unfair because it violates the civil rights of midgets. HE SVllE TO: Women umpires Write for fret color cat tog EMPEROR CLOCK COMPANY Dept 935 Ftrhopc, Ala 36532 WORLD'S LARGEST MANUFACTURER OF GRANDFATHER CLOCKS Wi'jar errowy a w y w mr. teniuMritrr naiUfTi y itPFJsmT ISY J Include your own name, address and lip Code Use proper address and Zip Code of the advertiser Send correct amount of money Then if you haven't received your order write: Miss Laura Peters PARADE MAIL ORDER SERVICE 733 Third Avenue New York, N.Y. 10017 PLEASE ALLOW AT LEAST SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY 16 program may seem too Here are some less adthat could and should be now. First, women should be encouraged to get into baseball. It'll take awhile for them to develop as players, but with some training many women could be umpiring today. In fact, several women have been denied the chance to umpire in the minor I leagues, and as your commissioner would order that they be given jobs immediately. Many women know the rules of baseball as well as any man, their eyesight is just as good, and if they've read any good books lately, they know all the bad words, so there So far my revolutionary. vanced ideas adopted right who want the games to go faster because they have dinner plans. Also, they are bored because they can't play the game themselves, or sit back and enjoy it like the fans. Baseball has its own a timeless quality special rhvthms that lets fans relax, think, dream, and speculate op strategy. Each sport has its own style for its own season. Let the other sports be fast and rough to keep you warm in winter. Baseball is a summer sport with a summer pace. Another thing that would be good for fans is a shorter season. The quality of play would be better and games at the beginning and end of the season could be played in warm weather instead of the way it is now. This year, two opening games were postponed because of snow. The World Series conflicts with the football season. The players and the fans want the shorter season. Only the owners want a long season, because they think more games mean more money. The baseball commissioner should force owners to show more responsibility to the community. I would ban all franchise shifting, and force teams to post a $1 million bond with the city to be forfeited if a new tenant needs to be found for a vacated stadium. As commissioner, I would have baseball pay its fair share of taxes so that people who don't like baseball (nuts and other deranged types) wouldn't have to help support it with their tax dollars. The way it is now, owners use sports as a tax dodge by writing off as a loss the cost of their franchise to avoid paying millions in taxes. That's why there are so many new teams and leagues in the various sports. Finally, as commissioner, I'd eliminate the reserve clause in contracts, which binds a player to a team for life. If a team wants to keep a player, for 5, 10, or 50 years, let it offer him a 5- -, 10-- , or contract, like other human beings get. A nonconformist when he played ball, today lim Bouton lives in New Jersey with wile Barbara and three children. would be no language barrier. My most important decision would Little League graduates into eligible play in the big leagues (after 1975 so it doesn't penalize those who've already played Little League). be to make This would effectively eliminate the Little Leagues, which would be a very good thing. Little Leagues are good for adults because it gives them something to do, but it's bad for kids. It teaches them to scream and holler at the umpires when a decision goes against them. It teaches them to forfeit and protest games. Other activities Little League puts too much pressure on kids to win, which makes them cry when they lose. And it takes up too much of their free time. Kids who are interested in music and dancing and art and reading, or just sitting around thinking should have time to do those things without having to go to Little League practice. Big league baseball would be more fun if they turned back the clock and played the games in the old stadiums, which were more colorful, had more tradition, and were more comfortable for watching baseball games. As commissioner, I would outlaw the new stadiums, and order the renovation of the old ones. I would decree that all stadiums have 50 bleachers seats so old folks on a pension could watch a ball game and sit in the sun while having their lunch. The 50 price would help build young fans for the future. Incidentally, I would rule that every stadium serve peanut butter sandwiches (I love peanut butter sandwiches). Also, I would not try to speed up the game as many baseball reporters are calling for. Reporters are the only ones 50-ye- ar The democratic way I'd also let the players and the fans vote to help select the baseball commissioner (after my term expires, of course). The way things are now, the owners hire and fire the commissioner so he represents the owners' financial interests and not the interests of the players, or the fans, or the good of baseball in general. One more thing. I would make the commissioner eligible to play any time he feels like it. An hour before a game, the commissioner could just declare himself the starting pitcher, put on the uniform of some team, and take the mound. That's what I'd like best about being the baseball commissioner. |
