Show OUR CHICAGO LETTER OUR oun correspondent beals DEALS WITH MATTERS AND THINGS WITH HIS USUAL perspicuity Cin CHICAGO cAGo july 3 editor desnet netos wonders will never cease and every day brings something stranger than the prec preceding edin 1 dynamite 1 and dyspepsia do thel their r deasy dealy deadly work but in a very way while GOUT IS till THE ROYAL and aristocratic road to the adf awful ul future lord chesterfield the apostle of politeness used to s say that rheumatism was a cab mans disease and dyspepsia a lunatics but gout was the disease of a gentleman and no gentleman would grumble at getting gout mr lowell could not be content with ills his other appendages to rank without also taking goit go golt it this is positively dreadful A puritan suffering from gout beats anything the catalo cataio catalogue zue of wonderland has yet furnished mr nir lowell used to write prohibition hymns in his younger days and on festive occasions used to sing water pure pine water tor sor or me and wine for the trembling debauchee the way of the pharisee is hard poor senator edmunds has fallen on evil days ile he has become the PROPERTY OF THE HUMORISTS and texas siftings makes merry over his fate that profane journal having no reverence for congealed respectability ability and scientific decency compares 3 mr 1 r edmunds presidential aspirations to gilhooly and his mule this mule had a peculiar method of amusing itself at its masters asters ro expense at one time and when the attention of a whole texas town was centred on gilhooly and his famous mulette mu mule lethe the mule took the liberty of throwing gilhooly high into the air and letting him hlin do the best way he be could the by standers asked the unfortunate gilhooly why lie he chose to land on oil a 1 11 granite canite pavement but gich gilhooly boly turned a sad eye towards the tho upper realms he had left and asked if there was anything up there to hold on to this is how texas alftin sif tings s congratulates mr nir edmunds in his endeavor to ride the the chicago spoil holding convention but this does no not nill nili the cup of humiliation A senator away awa from the wild west vest fram thearic the arid arld plains of nebraska has ht the e audacity to question the legality 0 of iame some of MK N I 1 R RECENT performances I 1 MAN this latter gentleman is chairman of the senate judiciary committee and in the recent investigation of the union pacific business methods he in connection with withA mr lr hoar entered into a treaty with that corporation as represented present edby by mr nin adams wherein are arc usurped the powers of the national government though the business of a committee is to report and investigate vesti gate yet that of mr nir edmunds stipulated with the V U 11 it R that on payment ent of a certain sum f urther further proceedings should be discontinued until next december senator van wyck very properly questions this procedure and asks very pertinently whether the treaty articles will read the united states of america in relation to the union pacific rall rali road or whether it will be their united INIa majesties jesties edmunds hoar and adams in relation with said corporation this postponement may be an illegal performance and it may be the establishment of a very bad precedent but if some poor friend or follower of the pharisee kind has stock to wet set rid of why aby not give him a chanca chance dir nir edmunds says law and precedent to me mine itis stis to save the pharisee WHEN HARVARD COLLEGE refused to confer its degree on gov butler etwas it was thought then that university stultification could no further go go but it appears that harvard could go I 1 urther further into folly if she had not been checked her action in the case of 11 cabot lodge recently is sufficient proof that a college is a granary which supplies food to vermin of uncommon size the Demora democratic tic party of illinois is showing some good sound judgment judgie nt CARTER IF 11 It ARRISON arnison the present mayor of chicago is nominated for Gc governor vernor of illinois under ills his administration of the mayoralty chica chicago 0 has become tile the premier city of america its police antt and fire departments are the dest best managed and the most efficient in the world its streets and sewers in a very short time when the works now in progress are completed will be the best in america the building boom Is unprecedented it is estimated that some brick will be used this year and that 01 OW structures will be completed in V this ilis ills city before next fall sl so 0 far as the duties of a municipal officer goes modern civilization cannot furni furniss sli sil an equal for I 1 mayor harrison arrison II the preachers and the tile pharisees Pharis ees find tault fault w with th him because he does not turn over and ed ascend ane pulpit but if the preacher discharged his duty as honestly and effectually as the mayor does his chicago would be as moral as she is prosperous when we have governor harrison harrlson II then illinois will become the premier state and will be able to formulate iq if not dictate the future policies of the nation next week will witness in this city an ASSEMBLY OF MEN mes that the united states have not beheld such since the days of the continental congress they dont meet here hereto to devise maahs means for the more effectual appropriation of f tile the peoples money they don dont dout meet here to ascertain which man can carry ohio or massachusetts they meet here to tind find out who of its many able statesmen can car best represent the people and f urther further the national welfare there will be butler of new england who never a duty or betrayed a trust a capitalist and yet yot the friend arlend of labor and the working man mair a yankee and yet not a dyspeptic or a know nothing will be bayard of delaware with three generations of unsullied senatorial dignity on his shoulders and there will be thurman of ohio watterson of kentucky harrison harrlson of ill lii and palmer and trumbull of the same state there can be seen men that a nation might be proud of and not like the miserable lawlers of a few weeks ago with their c tire cure all pills and the their r schoolboy petulance and official arrogance THE OLD BLOODY is is not figuring in this campaign as P prominently as in bygone days and consequently the remains ol 01 0 4 the late republican party have lost tile tue aid of a very useful and effective electioneer ing element viz the pulpit warrior elaborate preparations were made for this department but alas like many other great pular as well as homan cular plans they have miscarried i commissions and investigations in the south all are gone for naught the great point on anich the northern pharisee used to dwell etwell was the prospective demands of southerners tor war claims but that cant be urged with propriety lf ter late history in that work a chapter la Is devoted to virginia the original virginia was divided in W war ar times and for this mr blaine maintains there is a lawful basis for claims on the united states government in his letter of acceptance which is yet unborn it is to be hoped mr blaine will give some explanation of this matter if he means claims it is well for virginians to know it if he has written history for buncombe it is also well for american students to know it this must be one thin thing or the other no tattooing will do here in one of our daily papers appears a full length column report of iv what hat transpired at a religious meeting known as the MISSION the thoughtless reader may glance over this column and characterize I 1 it taa as a piece of reportorial humor the rell reli alous ious reader will turn from it with lous disgust iagust and stigmatize it as a piece of irro irreverent vent profanity but the serious reader will not be disposed to adopt either side cewill he will read it with attention and investigate it with interest the meeting was held in a disused theatre 1 under erthe the auspices of charitable christians and led by a prof professing es sim religionist paid a monthly salary J V V farrell spoke there and contributed to the promotion of this work many diany other prominent business men a and nd well meaning citizens also contributed liberally the report sa says the leader who sat on a stage benn behind d a small orail kraii organ and had a free and easy way ivay of egging singing out brother john or jim in the laurience taud laudi lence ence called for short speeches the service opened with a hymn and then experience speeches were in order ayoung mai man maa in inthe the centre of the house arose and said he had been born into the kingdom four weeks then a young fellow with a red face and mustache faced the audience audle andle nee from the and told toll in rather mixed english HOW GLAD III HE WAS TO BE THERE how he had drank and was cast off by frienda friends how the police hounded him but now he was safe A cripple beg prayers lord bless him said the leader that dear brother gave pave his bis heart to the lord last night next a lisping dark haired man mail began to a air I 1 r his oratory with the air of a republican stump speaker and was for going into generalities when the leader shouted tell us what the lord has done for you joe joe then told how he was converted and rescued from the very jaws of cerberus the three headed janitor of hell the leader as if apprehensive that joe would overdo his part broke in and said now let some stand up and say now HOW LONG THEY HAVE BEEN S AVED SAVED half a dozen stood up one oue man who turned out to be the janitor told how he was rescued and what joy there was in heaven over his conversion ile he did not say penitence or repentance alic the reporter says there was a sequel to the ine lne meeting eting worth hio fio noting tino ting and he then proceeds to give the ylo vio views vs and opinions of a disi disinterested interested listener at the meeting this listener on being asked if he were cognizant of the methods of religious awakenings awaken ings and professional fess ional lonal evangelists Ile he replied that lie he was and that thoroughly and from tile the minuteness minute mess of detail given the reporter evidently believed the man spoke the truth here is what this honest man who did not profess christ at the adelphi mission said why the d d hypocrites I 1 they told lies lles enough to burn cupl up apiece that mentioned in the meeting ye fall tail on to it dont ye see said he acco accompanying in a the men dicross across the river they hai hax had nur dur mr farwell there and lie he has just planted down for the hole got to set him up you see sec do I 1 know them tellers well you just lust betcher life ive been there e every ery there night seen you gentlemen there before but heard you kinder laughin iau ian glun a bout about it so I 1 spoke to ye I 1 know em cm all and hypocrites hypo crits every mothers son of em cm you know that fellow who about being behind the bars well he was drunk for three days last week know it I 1 reckon I 1 do and that yarn he spun about look lookin lill itil for work oh that was it thought hed held ketch mr 1 sirwell by that they w N as all that dodge every elarst ed son of a gun there ye notice how he lie punched lem em all up and told em to tell what the lord nord had donefer done fur ein em 0 1 I tell yo ye he had it all fixed up fine why that duffer that bleated bleared about his coffin and grave claths hes hey the wust old liar in the lot and that last feller janitor now 0 hes lies got it soft its a wonder he lie told about his sleeping in a freight car without any coat or shoes and stockings 29 below zero why one of those fools tools said one night hed hend saved elm emm f pw lw in three oliree months on 1 1 a day and paid his board out of it too I 1 t told old him lieras he was wab a liar and now lie he says he say it but he ild iid lid did I 1 tell you there aint none 0 o those chaps converted in that eThere was just one honest fellow spoke that little cuss who say much ant and ana he lle got it all right over in one of the them in niu ilu murphy ra li meetings yo you yon u bet I 1 know all about em just that place and it whylie Why ive lve seen th the e duffers tile file up there and shake hands w with ith the boss 11 you ou converted my friend hed held ask yes sir I 1 gave ademy my heart to the lord two weeks ako afo ago luti but I 1 cant cane nind find any work can I 1 slee phere tonight to night Us wo no we faint a place tor for you hed held tell em and then the sons of guns would come back and say the says he wont keep us to with him aw what they did exactly but that fellow gets geta his loo iua a month so he had em all there there tonight to night to show the decent men what a big thing helas he was waa doing the tile irate citizen was asked if hed hod hed swear to the truth ot of all his statements those fellows follows will dump tou you into the river tomor to mor row said one of his hla is ou audience when they read read in the papers that youve called them liars and hypocrites what be you reporters he queried in surprise more or less ess real 1111 well weli eil ell you yon just rub yem lem em I 1 aint alyin to you and I 1 aint afraid of the hull huli lot neither and lie ho turned down clark mark street shouting as ho he went rub rub hub em rub em cm the blai bial blank biank il blanked hypocrites this report should have a particular interest for the citizens of utah as it is the key to much of the troubles in that territory Its just in this way money is procured and professional hypocrites maintained why it is only a few weeks a ago ao o since one 0 of these tramping ghouls lectured here under the auspices of a church organization the fellow spoke of the goo woodwork good work dwork being done in the west by missionary teachers and especially amon among the mormons cormons Mor mons but he con tinned the salaries of these teachers are low now over due and the good work will have to be abandoned unless the dear brethren of the east will he help heip money flowed in at that lecture in sull such a manner that the donors were evidently denti honest and sincere even if imposed po seTon on A mr blatchford gave his check for and sums varying from F to were freely contributed taking an interest in lul this lin mr blatchford and judging that the gentleman was honest but imposed on I 1 felt it a duty to drop a written statement to the address given in the directory for this name and f aily fully urging on him the ne cassity ces sity nay even duty of en enquiring quirin 41 how tilis this money moncy was to be expended expend and that it would be well to demand A LIST OP OF THESE UTAH TEACHERS with their territorial names and also the names they went by before going to utah also it any of these teachers had fathers or friends to state where they could he be aund jound I 1 also instructed him to write to the DESERET NEWS wa and state his objections to mormon ism and also to ask whether the mormons cormons were in need ot 0 any missionaries slon sion aries arles and that all his queries and his objections would be respectfully attended to and that all the mormons cormons courted was investigation in doing this I 1 only felt doil doli doing ag my duty as citizen and a member of of society the same as I 1 should do if I 1 saw an honest col coi countryman in tryman in the hands of gambling steer ers and bunko cappers warn him and caution him against the company he was in then dhe if he diere disregarded added the admonition it was his own fault euit it he fell a prey to the awful tiger lest the adelphi mission report may bb bhe considered mythical vide chicago tribune july blaine and logan organ junius |