Show SHORT S hat AND SHARPS I 1 your dog what does he want here inquired a dry goods dealer of a customer whose big newfoundland was waa upsetting things generally Y was the answer 1 I suppose you miss your huband hubaud very much he remarked to the ob arming charming relict misa himl of course ido rdo he was very useful in attending to the fire winding up the clock and turning out the gas brother jasper is not a jewel of consistency when a colored jay lay man asked him if the bible contains any record of the starting of the sun after it had been halted for Jos Joa huas huns convenience he hastily gave out the closing hymn A A barber was called in to shave the face fabeo of f a dead man rege rete recently antly and nd the lul lui jul ruling liag passion prompted him to give the corpse the whole history of the silver bill the rise and fall of gold and attitude of the firpi foreign n bondholders bond holders in the premises an illinois man with a foresight ht worthy northy of a better bater cause popped the question n on a railroad train ada add an d now the maiden is at a los lob iob los to decide as to which country she had better commence proceedings in for a breach of promise A needle lert left in a night shirt may bring a man to a recognition othis of his goodness in mending the garment but he be will as a rule insist that he would have noticed the repairs if she directed his hia attention atte atle tion to them in auch uch a pointed manner when you yon find a man who claws over all the papers papera on the desk looks through all the drawers Be abare abard searches archea hes through all the pockets in his clothes and explores the regions eglons r above his ears in search of his lead pencil penell nell neil and finally find finds it between nis ris his teeth dont lend him any in y money he ii absentminded absent absen minded last week two residents of B bull buil ull uil run eun basin disagreed W ejected J X from hib cabin next morning taking his double shotgun J proceeded to the whereabouts of W and told him he must make an apology or fight wre wie W replied that he did not know how to apologize and he had no gun however you just step onn ten steps and take a shot at me then ill take a turn at you with the other barrel J walked away in a MS found in and now in the ahe escurial curial Es madrid it Is distinctly stated that peter beter elCa Ivo was chosen chief of the apost apostle legs legg and gifted with the keys of heaven for the following reason that he alone af pf of all the apostles had endured in this world the punishment of purgatory in s so 0 far as he be was married ann and suffered tho the pai pains 0 Geh encia earia injia inala In ving hla hia mother in aw a living liking in his hia house peter was waa the only one of the apostles aho vho was bald hence his nickname gel el calvo 11 an englishman hunting in al renia geria had bad a native for a guide gulde and found himself late in the afternoon ins in ina a desolate spot and entirely out of provisions the native suggested that he be should shoot a monkey and broil it over the camp fire what does doea monkey taste like Is it good to eai eat oala bald eald the hi hunter inter luter well said the native in the most natural tone it tastes very much like man but is not so ulcy juicy 4 the englishman at once struck out for home with his guide well in front of him and never took his eyes on off him until they reached a civilized place where food was plentiful |