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Show COPING WITH TERMINAL ILLNESSES What happens when reason to grieve? What happens is going to die? , Iv .. ' ,',,,,,.., : i ',,, , ' , , , fli 3',',:.3'':' .i. ' '''8"::',.11 1:,, ,, , ,z3,1 ''' 1 ' , ,i ,:i. , t i ' ' , ,,,,:: ,,i.,:,,,, '.,,,..'-'"- , ' - - -- ,,,,, "Probably because we really can't perceive of ourselves dying," said Miss Aaron. "We see death as a destructive force over which we hav2 no control, rather than as a natural conclusion to our lives.- - 171 i r?-, ;' .'', .'' , ..!i...,:,1,,,,,,,,,,,,,a ''' , ,' ,' - Atc-,r,-- IA., I t .1,) ' , :: c -11 Ata.,--- The child is terrified of the hospital and needs the security only his parents can give. I , t tioras.N4' , .. ' F:1'''... I 't...,,,',..' ::::.:;; , ....c , , ':. , ''.4!:::, ,,,,,,,,., ,,,::,, , , , q,,,,. ; " t, , , ., 0 .. , , ; , , What about those children whose parents elect to conceal the facts? -- ::f.....-;:ss,,...,:'- ,' , : :, g. .g, .t ,,, "When death is near, every minute is important." says Mrs. Hughes. "I encourage the parents to share this experience with their chileren and cherish every minute." .:'::: r, : ,.;:z,-- - It, f 44 , ....: , They seem to be more insecure and afraid. It really isn't possible to conceal an impending death from a child. The child. who knows he is dying. in a tends to feel alone situation he has no control over. Without the comforting help of his parents. he must face the end of his life alone. ,,, 0 :. -- - ,;, .,,3,,-1',- .. ,, According to experts, the time of greatest tragedy for parents is the diagnosis of their child's terminal illness. ,s,-- ,, - ,; tz 4,- . :.,, L; .':,:7,,!,,,,;,,,4,,.,,,5,,,,,,,,--4- , ., , . 1 , " ..,, , ,,e.t,,,,r:., : , , , :,,,,: , .,;,,-.- ; 4 The parents' first response is one of shock and disbelief. The child becomes the focal point. Feelings of misgiving, disb6ief. anger, guilt, anguish. frustration and fear the of whole gamut emotion comes crashing down on the parents. is ,- ,T,';,. , The parents are encouraged to assume part Of their child's daily careand the reassurance of their presence during medical procedures is priceless. -- -: ., at 4 ' ,,,,,,,;,.,?,:k.,, ' - ., -, - - , ',0 1 1 ; 4. Itsr,,, ,, 8 i- ' T z, ,.' ''.:- must be talked about to be understood. "Death is an intensely poigntitle which touches the deepest sources of human anguish, one which each of us yearns to he spared. Yet as nines and physicians. it is our constant companion." (George L. Engel) , 0'..,:- ''' '4fi-..- t,,,. - But death is something that ant event, ,....., :, ', f,1;;:, 4, ' I - ,,,,,.t , !kir i ...,-- ', ,, , r,-- i. ,,.,,! , ..,,,, ''''',. it , been ,' ,t.,:.,,::' , ; ..'i,;..,11t,'' ff, ,'',. ' 8 the hospital show them the rooms and explain the care their brother or sister will be receiving. Then. hopefully. they'll develop a little bit of empathy and understand why this child is receiving more of their parents attention." ', Parents miss the chance to develop one of the closest relationships they will ever have with any of their children. They'll miss the chance of sharing and growing in the awareness of life and death. Andthey'll nits the chance of saying all the things they wanted to say. When parents learn their child has a terminal illness, they must learn how to cope with grief. Death needs to be talked about to be understood. cal Center. Mrs. Hughes helps parents and patient adapt tG the dying- - process. Said Mts. Hughcs: "I try to be hone :t with the parents. and enccurage them to be honest with their child. I give them the facts. never forgetting lie element of hope. We never know when a cure may be found." "Death is h very personal experience." said Miss Aaron. "Everyone who dies. dies as a personinvolved in his own sociological context. but involved emotionally with the child and his family. She must be willing and able to give a part of herself." Both !,ospit als. although their first priority is helping the stricken child. realize they must help the r rents to live through the experience and still be able to function. One person, who gives untirof her time and self. is ingly (Laurel) Hughes. Working under the direction of Dr. M. Eugene Lahey, at the University Medi Through personalized empathetic treatment, and they are attempting to establish of relationship caring. ment can be enhanced by the ability of the staff and parents to offer support. Many assume this tragedy will bring the family closer a and sharing Miss Aaron encourages nurses to be sensitive to the needs of both child and parent. to react to cues... to be ready to talk when the occasion arises. Some parents find it hard to accept the diagnosis and lash out bitterly at hospital person-ne- t. usually works in reverse. "The family seems to fail apart," said Mrs. Hughes. "They take their problems out on each otherthey need to biame someone." A tragedy 'like this carries . sears that can last a lifetime if the family isn't given help. "This is all right," Mrs. Hughes. "It .helps' them to Work tipir Ofli pent-u- p Frequently the child's well-- , being and response to treat Eight of ten families will have serious problems. 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As a matter of fact, it's an opportunity to integrate a look into a faL wardrobe that has been in virtual seclusion for the last Of particular interest should be the return and enthusiastic reception for argyle and tartan plaid slacks. Both woven fabrics and doubleknits in these patterns are particularly good when teamed with blazers and turtlenecks. Other plaid ideas, some traditional and some not. reflect subdued colors and patterns in box and combination plaids. While the tartans and other traditional ideas make their clothway back into the ing cycle, styling innovations from the last two years including flared bottoms and will conwider belt loops tinue in popularity. and makers Menswear retailers also are reviving the nostalgia of the "Old West." A GA CORNE SAVE UP TO , Srvice return of the "tradi- Cooley News OM 1C 10 , emotions." By HUGH THOMPSON (waist-length- These, sharing times can give parents the strength to live through the hospitalization, through the periods of remission. (when there is no clinical evidence of the disease and the child may return to his home environment) and through the final trip to the hospital. however, it together non-verb- Cl Tartan Plaid Returns "Said Mrs. Hughes: "I like , .. 1119044 Thursday, October 5, 1972 to bring the whole family to , '' l. "' t ' ftt0,j vt NEWS for the remaining children which may haunt them the rest f their lives. ,, ,: ;.;-- .,..'..,.,,,' 4,', , 40,'-'- taboo? Mrs. Norman ,,,,, - ... in our society seems there is a taboo when it comes to talking about deathand in many cases. even acknowledging that it is imminent, partic'daily in the case of a child. can't help ,;,, ,...,,,k,,,,,....s, '',---. It "A nurse : ' :- - assstant the subject '' -- ."',, at Primary Children's Hospital, at a workshop held for nursing pesonnel. Why has - ,,,,,.-,,.-- ..F: These were questions asked by Bever lee Aaron, djrector of nursing. '1''!4;! DESERET (V ', , when a child r 144kititt ..VAY"1 A Part Of Living Cxl, there's rni; 4,: GriefVs By SUE THURMAN Deseret News Staff Writer I skttl: "40"441 SAO Fully Cooked BEEF PAWNS Beef Swiss STEAK Roof ROAST ti net "Nat 'A' Good Beet Liver E it lb. or FRANKS ric ""yu.oi' 7 lbs. qc Plcorbost TURKEY ROAST Ain). $it 29 le lbs. SAUSAGE 1 uvi .. urop, awn. ROIL Gold. NUL, Johothon 4 Gum lb. sl Utah Jumbo AI CABBAGE 14 Htiods Utah Butternut 1 ActrA se & SQUASH 1 OC lb. |