Show by Dick Emmons For reasons that are now completely obscure to me I recently took our three prides and joys to an amusement park— a misnomer if ever I heard one Rather than do it again I would face a firing squad Without a blindfold or final cigarette Showing a heretofore unsuspected streak of cowardice my wife Helen begged off when the excursion trip came due I've forgotten her exact excuse but I think she mumbled something about having 11 of the girls in for bridge that afternoon When I proposed that she cancel the party in favor of a wholesome family outing she confided that sherf also had a touch of bubonic plague and hesitated to spread it throughout North America by visiting a public playground "I'll take the kids by myself then" I gritted "but when we get back if it's still light I'm going to get in nine holes of golf while you baby-si- t" "It's a deal!" she replied almost too eagerly it seemed to me As soon as the twins our girl and I arrived at the Land of Enchantment — that was the park's name— I began to sense anew how despicably shrewd my wife is six-year-- ten-year-- old old wanna ride the jerking me thither "I wanna ride the ponies!" Dickie hollered jerking me thather "It's the roller coaster for me!" Ann sang out cheerily "Tell you what" I started "why don't we look the place over before we decide which ride to start on and then—" The jerking on my arms stopped as the twins "L merry-go-round- !" Davie yelped off in opposite directions "You trail Dickie!" I shouted to Ann breaking into a run after Davie "See you at the Ferris wheel!" After three rides— on a black charger a zebra and a cougar — I got Dave off the merry-go-rouand started out in search of Dickie "Have you seen a small boy wearing te khaki pants and a scampered nd T brown-and-whi- T-shi- rt?" Tasked the man operating the Ferris wheel The man looked at me narrowly "Sure Mister he's standing right beside you large as life" I glanced down at Davie "I mean an other one Just like this one" "He's up there" The man pointed skyward and my heart jumped when I saw Dickie and Ann at the very top of the Ferris wheel waving deliriously at us "Come down this instant!" I roared Then I thought better of that and called "No stay there wait until the man brings you down!" — As soon as we were reunited the three of them broke for a refreshment stand and I ordered a round of cotton candy "Now then let's take a vote" I suggested "Everyone who's ready to call it a day and go home raise his hand!" Only one arm shot up so I lowered it reluctantly as Ann drew three votes for a ride on the Caterpillar In no time we were wedged into a car seat on the Caterpillar the canvas top came down over us and we were being hurtled at terrific speed over an uneven circular course Such was the centrifugal force that by the time we emerged I was cotton candy from the waist up Things got a bit disjointed after that but I recall some terrifying moments in the Fun House the Hall of Mirrors and a gruesome ride on something called the Whip When it was over I was not a broken man but I confess that I was badly bent here and there balloons as Using three bribes I finally lured my charges into the car and drove home "And how was the Land of Enchantment?" my wife trilled "Great!" chorused the kids "Grim" I muttered "It's still light" my wife chuckled "I'll stay with the children while you GflY OiiDDDS 20 1958 EDM©? help? There are over 100000 independent agents in the United States who display the seal below So even 1000 miles from home you know there's an experienced independent agent as near as the nearest phone You know that he can be at your side without delay day or night to protect your interests This seal identifies over 100000 independent insurance agents across the country Any one of them will be glad to assist you in any way from getting prompt repairs to filing a claim Only an ( WwlJJLptndtnt Insurance Y' ' July fr©Gufl ©1011 You will know if you've bought your car insurance through an independent agent in your community -- a man you know and trust Just as you would get in touch with him if you had an accident in your own block you can get in touch with one of his fellow agents anywhere in the country play nine holes dear" I glared at her "As you well know I haven't the strength to sink a tee in the ground I'm going to bed Call me when Family Weekly ypii My© Will you know where to turn lor gas-fill- ed Summer is over" om flV 11 AGENT mil I Independent Insurance Agent I Can Display This Seal f NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF INSURANCE AGENTS INC |