Show Student Lies HEY! HAY! I BUfiiLCAl1 By General Merchandise There Is much conjecture as to The Phi Kappa Iota Fraternity Jim Scott retired upon the out- - cently held its annual April First zlz Page 3 re- - 25 T Ronald Flamm Joe Cow toy end two the' contented look on Major the diet °nd "failed members of Beta Sorority has been them (iown the Eugene Percival Callahn Is 8patting line Two Major ‘ charming members Milton Johnson due solely to the comfort of com- and Toenails Lavton who looked Panionship he receives during his very lovely in their smart Levi morning round of golf with our Strousses presided at the tea table new Captain of Vigilantes hot dogs and root beer were tain Hugo Neptune Parker of the and Carry Upon questioning Cy Greaves for served to the guests The tea table was United States Cash possible motives that might lead to covered with a lovely brown cloth of Squadron his disappearance it was learned that bur‘P and was decorated with green Captain Parker seems to possess he had been very dejected since trailing vines of poison ivy placed in delicacv of skm and iivrv - an antique beer stein of 1 overneL he value sometime when great hursdjy of traisee say During the afternoon about two CaUahfn modest heard Belle Willis a th t if Jim Scott could edit a paper hundred guests called Buck Shields and Elmer Randall with their bar-- ? she could kvrn to like Miss Barber comers of his delicately painted monicas furnished the music mouth turn up with that baby- Donaa Divis is the only girl in smhe which has made him Miss Benson one of our clever-- 1 bool who can be classed with Flor-ain- e of the A W S and created quite a sen-th- e Benson on this “Icicle attitude” est to v ird men Donna has always been sation by making the statement Women’s Faculty League for the rote for licr cool distant and dignt- - that a girl can get any fellow Past decade fed m nner with fellows Willie says she wants if only she will not let1 These men may often be seen she is so cold that he is still wearing him pet strolling about the campus arm bis winter undies This is a nice sweet thing to! in arm taking bites of each — tell children in Sunday school other’s apple or candy bar laugh Professor Arnold noted traveller but this myth passes with theiing and joking oblivious to the Cosgave u'l illustrated lecture to the Santa Claus story When Floralne existence of any other human nu Hnit in dub at its monthly lunch- - failed to make the raise for a beings ton held at the Blue Goose Cafe on prom date we were led to ask received ms CaPtaln Parker '1 he Siouk Wonders of Logan Can- whv she have hroiioht ’ r V: v -- v Cap-whe- — GRADUATION - —n COMMITTEE PERSONNEL REVEALED n sSe co-e- d 1 We have at last found out who why and what the graduation committee consists of The above photo was sent to the Student Life staff by special request for the past six years we have been questioning the seriousness of Such students this committee as Noma Broadhead Dee Davis Gawdy Hogan and Phyllis Johnson have slipped by this group without having their work up to The members of this standards committee are: Asa Bullen D C Budge Emil Hansen and Alton Odell By UEEZrt SOPH Very rew of the students who have been able to sneak through the first years of confinement this rebirth of antiquity Armi t1 Hogan alias “Gravy” no- disappointed who was recently tor lulls shoplifter pprehended in the act of stealing at the Tablets some Mirmola Vcm vered Si hr mi n: Johnson Drug store is call- Rogrtaon el “PiesTiptlon” by her sorority Club hard to fill sisters at P!early trainin in Hyrum take seminary: from here he received a scholarship to the University of what Hard Knocks at Mantua After ankless leaving Mantua this distinguished ' looklng individual decided to broaden his education by exten- - lasFM beuusejhso With At a lecent meeting of the Short Utah This was a shock to Thetas Pfj and here at school realize the honors Story Club Dr Frederick read and and the Pi Kapps both of whom'f“S it u seed tile current number of the looked upon him as pretty good that are wrapped up m our Freshluzz Bang His comments and ex- - fodder Just what his destination yslt®J We would like to man class was is not known but those nations w ere very much enjoyed present a few names with pedi- grees attached for the Stewed-gent- s Gallary of Incompetence Do you know that Chub Budge was the champeen flipper shot at the last annual squirrel hunt conducted at the Logan high scnool Arlene Jones was awarded a brass can opener for winning the horse shoeing contest last fall at the Malad county lair Hex Dibble was a ten second man and Is known for his accuracy In bouncing huge rocks oi f playmate’s heads Odell “Wildcat” Thompson although having been born and raised among the native Indians of Garland and Tremonton managed to emerge victorious in Bologna eating contest recently conducted In the Tenth ward chapel barely nosing out Paul Grace and other foreign contestants Kuth Bennett brought honor to herself and family when she gamed the distinction of being the most efficient participant in the turkey herding contest conducted annually by the Mink Creek Poultry association In the alley which runs between the Hotel n Eccles and building Bernice Boyle proved to be of great assistance in keeping the frustrated gobblers from taking unfair advantage of Ruth and running between her legs which it seems have warped more or Stockton-Christianse- less i the Smart won Margaret cong Georgetown test conducted every year on the cactus flats between Soda Jumps and Montpelier Gene “Squiash” Hubbard was unanimously elected queen of the Willard high school Peach StealHe still has the ing Expedition huge “Mamma Doll" they awarded him Gene is anxious to take part m the Spring Dance festival here this Spring sheep-shearm- R DIBBLE GOES PHI tnf f co-e- ds ey Freshman Feeies re to vlewjie Started1 to wander Dim" h traveK he NEWS OF THE WORLD AS TOLD Mr and Mrs aiy among which might WAA listed as of special interest: Chevrolet France Offski Russia Spaghetti Italy Chopsuey China and Nephi Utah Mr Parker claims along with other things to know personally such men as Blak and Blak two Mexican Athletes from Berlin Ray Wood of the beet digging inReed Bullen dustry Imperial Custodian of the Intercollegiate Knights National Headquarters General Pershing and Joseph Havertz He claims to have been present when that tireless Scotchman C Donald Cruikshank dropped his nickel down a squirthem rel earnest oratory brought hole and dug the Grand Canmuch applause and undoubtedly yon of the Colorado looking for do to with Joe much had it ning the election It was a land- Undoubtedly Mr Parker is an slide for Mr orator of great repute a clever juggler very adept at toe dancing an accomplished singer and a damned liar We sincerely hope the students of this home for the feeble minded will accept Captain Parker as one of our numbers and make him Weldon Burnham prominent Aggie feel like he wants to Stay Infa-- j definitely sign painter has made his name mous on the campus as the instigator' sponsored Dallas Richins left foe Coalville to recover from a severe breakdown which threatened his health and wasted him away to a mere shadow We hope that Dal will soon be back among us jesterdy is ub Phi Utisilon Omricon national fraternity sold Teddy Bears and Hot Chicken patties at the recent freo lunch They realized a conslder-bl- e profit gly a Prom A Maidens Dream of ' Date E Webb an- late last night The best man to be Hunter Gaddie “I love Norman” Clarice gently informed the reporter “He is my life and hope I call him Nero Faithful Nero He alts and fiddles while I burn” The groom to be is reported as “Clarice means everysaying thing to me I will love her forever She has the prettiest hands I hope to protect them forever I have given her a pair of rubber gloves so that she can wash her hands without getting them wet” Hunter Gaddie was in a frenzy at the time of the announcement He continually pushed his hands - through his hair He was about as responsible as a loose button He had hopes of marrying her himself “And what have you to tell us?” the reporter asked him’ “Look before you lip” is all the information he would give Our Jokes Affect even Dr Emerson Abbot prominent Thespian has been awarded the part of the lion in “Androlocles and the Lifarm-reliebill The measf on” the next Big Theatrical produc- of a local are so drastic and tion This role has been much sought ures he proposes that It has been rumored after by actors of the school and Mr that McNary and Abbot feels that it will offer him a from Washington of Haguen have been biting their nails big opportunity for delineation and contemplating suicide at the character thought of their own futile and inadeThere was a minor panic in one of quate proposals Mr Burnham suggests abolishing the t’I C busses last Monday when from farm life He a college student (who prefers to cows and gardenBcause the farmer too have his name remain unknown to states that they a substitute he prothe public) arose and politely offered much work As poses that everyone use canned milk hiB seat a co-e-d be a Vickers exclusively and that vegetables product of the manufacturing plant Our local politician says that the remedy is so amazingly simple that he wonders if all the agitation over farm relief is justified He modestly the feminine admits that it took him only toa few Leona Cummings the a solution William Jennings Bryan has appar- - minutes to evolve and is mildly indignant that ently discovered that Rulon Walker- problem more learned men does have sex appeal for she has re- many supposedly so many fruitlesahours in vain cently announced her engagement to spent endevour to find an answer to the same question Floyd Keller is the proud recipient of a pair of dainty Hart Schaffner and Marx rayon bloomers donated to him by the Leader for his part in the Mrs F D Daines entered in run Aggie The Friars gave a luncheon on Nicotine point yesterday “Slim” Hansen gave a talk on "Several Brands of Tobacco I Have Known’ KAP i cross-countr- ias renounced all Sigma Chi pledges and cast his lot with the Phi Kaps The tyrst rumors of anything amiss between Mr Dibble and his frat brothers came last with the news that they were traitorous to him in one of his big enterprises Mr Dibble class Freshman was enthusiastically president preparing for a canyon trip and urged Emerson Abbot Soph prexy to be his guest Though reluctant to accept the nospitality of his friend Mr Abbott acquiesced and it was not untU their destination had been reached that he remembered an important business apHe would pointment In town gladly have attempted to cancel it but Mr Dibble’s frat brothers On insisted on his being there the condition that he be allowed to return Immediately after the meeting Mr Abbott went Into town with some Bigs Mr Dibble waited in the canyon until late expecting his friend to come back to the party and as the hours foassed concluded that foul play had prevented his return The suspicions were Justified The traitorous fraternity brothers had refused to let Abbot return Though Dibble firmly stated that he no longer wished to be his erstwhile affiliated with fraternity the Phi Kaps had a hard fight over him as evidenced and adhesive by the bandages plasters seen on many Phi Kaps Dibble himself suf- and Sigs Mr fered severs Injury C the engagement of their BY PICTUES nounced daughter Clarice to Norman Jen sen closely associated with him in the an act In last recent campaign are of this opin- Welnesdaj s Pantages bill for the pur- ion that he is going back to the ose of raising money to build a new sheepherd — — for tho exclusive use of the gni For political and social purpos- women students es the Betas gave their spring the formal early this year Lets hope The Delta Nus entertained Sigma chis at a consolation party the girls are represented at the tier the elections Friday Refresh- - fraternity parties nients were served after which Lois Lunt and Dallas Johnson Coaih Jensen gave a talk on “Broth- called on the Pi Kapps the night erijove” before the elections and gave The Dance Club is happy to an- - campaign speeches supporting whom the Betas of MyJ Chester nounce the pledging joe Havertz ers and his sister Fred Mammerly are running for Janitor Their The Famous Trilogy Ends Luncheon Parties the county court a divorce suit against her husband F D Daines she names as a correspondent Of course Miss Charlotte Kyle this is not such a shock to the students because we know Miss Kyle’s and Mr Daines’ rooms have been together for years and we have all Wondered why the hole was cut Proessor Daines door 360 and 361 are entirely too close togemer One of our detectives very re-- L cently I?"? Bluebird being for placed so near to the L D S stitute W W Henderson Is ng unfaithful again and this time he is spreading his affec- tions on Mrs Parry manager of the college Bluebird The Sigma Chi Hard Times party which was held recently was declared to be one of the most dignified and beautiful formals of the year The rooms of the palatial chapter house on Main Street where the party was held were decorated with a profusion of spring flowers and light was furnished by tall Roman Mthederal oT'puiU of the ThurSer School oi Dancing entertained the guests with a feature ballet dance Dean Frank West was the chairman of the com- mittee The patrons were unable to at- tend Dancing was enjoyed An slaborate buffet supper was served at1030 after which the party adjourned Catherine Williams lovely titian haired Sorosis and prominent Aggie elected May Queen at a recent election As was announced previously the drowning of the May Qneen will take place tonight at the Palador MissWilliams will wear a green and orby ange circular bathing suit donated Bingham's Cafe The election of the Queen was bitterly contorted by the Zeta Chis who accused the Omega Taus of stuffing the ballot box with Miss Williams The Beta’s entertained at an early breakfast the Bunday morning following their Spring formal Satnrday night Tbs table was mads festivo with morning glories and bachelor buttons Miss Nora Blood and Ovlla Bown were n Charge of arrangements j The Epsilons as good neighbors and friends to tha Phi Kaps wort hosts of the latter at a chatty little quilting boo recently Alisa Cannon won tho prlso for the best design for j a quilt block !' L West Member of And So Far Into lit Night CoUege children came into the ubrary to rest They sit at tables dle their thumbs If the Ught shines in they Jerk up the and tie the string to a chair back set a dictionary on it or rap ground a radiator they don’t even use common laws of physics and learn how to raise and lower curtains Also next year Prof Reynolds Is going to give a special course in paper cutting ana the artistic manner of clipping up Eng 10 themes and eupid eplsuea Next year aclaors and colored paper may be obtained from Miss Smith ior Mian Sorenson at the desk and the college men and women may then entertain themselves as kindergartens like to New dictionaries will be lamed as needed so that over energetic boys and girls may have them to tear op they most be pacified catalogues an 'jtnee jUboo t Pres Peterson’s statue of bronse Iwta continue to esse off toward Uhe B T O bock room Its task trmci on Tv j M 1 A drur cf t' tr tj ir L a- t c3ks 9 This is Nobul l wo Ida MitchsIL cf tha FzzSj VcUsrs Scholar- ship and Attendance Com Elmer Jeppson New Candidate For Bishop -fsl ft rrrar cttA ‘3 UJP t V 1 -- n v‘tl I! i |