| Show 251 STUDENT LIFE Ami if the electric oven is cold lust turn it on half an ohm For I want to have the supper ready As soon as John comes home quoth the monkey Alaketh all mankind our kin There’s no chance at all about it Tails we lose and heads we win — Ex Evolution There was once a man from Xan-tuck- et Who kept all his cash in a bucket lhit his daughter named Xan Ran away with a man And as for the bucket — Xantucket —Ex There had been a sweeping re- vival in the village and among the converts were several business men Uncle George gazes in awe — remembers what the central figure in f mr hundred is then says : "ly jumps he looks it!” — Ex When vour pocket hook looks empty And vour hills pile high When your checks are cashed And no help is night ' When vou’ve "touched your friends And vou’ve “‘worked” your dad When your needs are many And vour credit bad — You're broke mv kov vou re broke —Ex To err is human not to air another's errors is divine — Ex "I expect I’ll be fired” remarked the locomotive "unless I tender my resignation” "Oh pshaw!” exclaimed the bagOne night the converted butcher got company 'steams you up and said : "Friends 1 I have been gage car “the for that too have given highly a very wicked man I “Well hope so” answered the short weights to my customers and Immedi-atel- v "but vou see I ve been I know I'll go to hell” engine the old groceryman rather running out of nights and have an occasional toot and I’m afraid deaf started up the good old hymn the "If vou get there before I do look- thv’ll get on my track and turn — Ex tables on me” out for me I’m coming too” — Ex "And now lohnny” said the An Irishman and a Frenchman I he Sunday-schoteacher "is there were parting at the steamer Irishman anything you don't understandr standing at the wharf waved his hand at his friend and about Eve and the seroent The " Yes'm” "Well what?” "Ilow'd shouted "Oh reservoir!” Eve keep from having a fit when oolitelv saluting reshe seen it coinin' — Ex plied “Tanks” — Ex "What ve call 'em depends on “See that youth with a high collar a little black mustache and a where ye git ’em If ye git ’em in bull-do- g France thev are called Parasites if Uncle George?” ve git ’em in Germany thev are “Yes” Germs : and if yez git eni in old Ire“Central figure in the four hunland they are Mikerobes" dred ol f r |
