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Show May 14, 1965 Page THE PARSON 1 V " V F fSA One evening, having nothing to do but homework, I decided I was in the mood for exploring labels in a supermarket. I became perplexed. I found so many scientific sounding formulas, that I be- i Y W'l-- f, Y W-- vXSi f 1 trademark for its special disinfecting agent. New Alberto VO 5 is entirely different from any other hair spray youve ever used. It contains VY-TRA- gan to wish that Id majored in chemistry. What does a chemist do with such ingredients aschlorinol, $ y-- -- Fantastic Formulas Flabbergast Chemists r) n borateem, durabrite, ultramarine, nulite, deocin, polyglyceride, hexachlorphene, hexagardol, fluoride, fluoristan and Achemlst would be perplexed and the dictionary (even unabridged), for the most part, does not list such elements. Yet everyday thousands of Americans are told what wonders these chemicals and gredient? The label lists only formulas perform. Fascinating phrases crept up Our Town cast In third act shows Ginger Rhode, Barry Dahl, Rand Murray, Janice Brown, Lynda Shields, Rusty Lees, Skip Hill, Sherryl Cogswell, Kitty Davis and Rusty Cortwright in graveyard scene the play was good yet poor Rusty Lees is getting tired. English is For Madmen by William E. Taylor the fellow said. "I same as one looks foreign. So all Look, listen. mean, Its true more and right. Then theres aisle and isle - Relax Does it hurt? it doesn't hurt. Is it noisy? No, isnt noisy. it give me an appetite? No, It wont give you an apNo, it .Will petite. "Will it make me stiff? No. It will just make you beau- tifully thin. I saw your ad for the slenderizing clinic on a mirror in Hogle Hall. It read, Lose inches while studying or relaxing. Ten cents a treatment. Results guaranteed. Judl Donaldson, owner; Lani Snyder, business manager. Its realIt ly cheaper by the month. is, huh? Well, if you use it for half an hour everyday, its only $2.50. If you really want results, though, put down $4 for the monthly one hour rates. But youve got to use it everyday for real figure improvement. Okay, now how does it work? The (You guessed by now?) consists of interesting, small pads and belt. You can use either. Just dampen the pads a little, place them in direct contact with the skin, and lie back and relax (Lovely after a hairy test), or study (Lovely before a hairy test). About 40 electric impluses a minute are immediately sent to the disaster areas, causing the flabby muscles to exrelax-A-ciz- or contract Fantastic! pand and and INGVARS BARBER SHOP BAK3ERING by Appointment only NO WAITING 103 Stfuth 17th East Phone HUnter Before 3;30 to avoid ihe rush 4-22- 21 Its listed as Dracketts L. Proctor and Gamble is very about the whole thing and finally one gets an answer to the It question of What is GL-7is advertised in Gleem as a miracle cleaner and bacteria fighter. In small print Proctor and Gamble teUs us that its their trademark for the patented active ingredient, a blend of anionic sulfonates. Comet contains chlorlnol, the greatest bleaching and cleaning One would put in a cleanser. imagine that it is some form of Fab is new with durabrite, Ajax with ultramarine, Gliss with and Poise with deocin.. Arent the Madison Avenue men imaginative? At last one finds Stripe with hexachlorophene. Deception has not completely taken over. Hexachlorphene is hexaclorophene and Stripe lists as its active Ingredient hexaclorophene. We dont live in a world of reality at all. Its a world based cm the faith in the patent office. Im disillusioned, but my curiosity is killing me. Tomorrow Im going to the patent office and find out how e. to make good 0? poly-glceri- de bio-dyn- "OOCAOU" MCM VY-TRA- IMMTlFV COKI AMD 0Lt TMg A AC AAOOUCT A(OIrCACO 09 THl COMAANV. -h- - , MEN COLLEGE Summer Job Full Fime Work This Summer Earn Up To $3500 Between May & September - - $1,000 CASH SCHOLARSHIPS EARN UP TO $114.00 A WEEK 15 firm up. Judi bought the clinic when she was a freshman. After seventeen long payments it was hers. But shes willing to share. Its getting shorts time. Now reaHy, can you think of an easier, more relaxing way to get in shape? again and again new formula, formula, special formula, heavy formula, wonder formula. In most cases, the formula was never listed. When formulas were used, they were often misleading. Nochemist would be able to produce : a product through the listed formula.The only possible road to knowledge is through the patent office. For example, AT-- 7 may be found in U.S. patent No. 2,535,077. This stuff, of course, is what produces round clock protection." Now the Vanish with QK 100-1- 5 kills 100 per cent of the most commonly encountered germs on 15 second contact. This fragrant toilet bowl cleaner disinfects as it cleans, deodorizes and removes stubborn stains. What is this wonder ingredient? Thats easily an- more people are speaking English, and Ill be seeing you. And an I say the world is going mad entomolgist can look natty despite because English is a language for his gnatty calling. A pretty girl madmen. petrographer can be idee hinting He paused, a caloric gneiss. Why? choler coloring his countenance. No, I'm not wrought up, but Ill tell you in a few minute min- Im glad you used the a utes. Its a language of specious past participle of work. word, a Burke, spellings, pitful pitfalls, neurotic deadly word, is pronounced like niceties and innate inanities. Its work but the participle isnt swered. lacking in logic, lacunose and lachAnd cork is spelled like 'brought. rymal icious. Dont say theres' no work, but the participle isnt such word; if there isnt there 'crought. is it? I think not. And should be. think,' there another." past tense to a coin English is, phrase, and past participle, 'thought. But a phony koine, which is, as you with sink, its sink, sank, sunk. know, a language of one region What of wink? Wink, wank, wunk? adopted by a larger area and by Or wink, wougbt? other peoples. It has words spelled Time is running out. Just let differently but pronounced alike; me try this sentence on you: 1 it has words spelled alike but dared not cough though my throat which, when spoken, go off in all was rough, as I waited in the slough directions; its past participles are near the lough, hiding behind past belief, and it has letters dooma bough, watchin a snake slough ed to silent service, their feat as his skin. Here is as useless as a shoe horn at a Black-fe- et off, of, uff, oo, ock, ow, and uft. fete. And that first slough can be spelled Take the little mousetrap correctly, as sloo,slue, and slew. words; ail and ale, bail and bale, Slew is past tense for slay, but hall and hale, mail and male, sail the past for say is not 'sew, and sale, and so on. Then come pronounced 'siu but said, spoken trickier ones: gale and jail, cite, as 'sed. But enough is enow! sight and site, ceil and seal, fane He drew a deep breath and then: and feign and rain and reign. But Ba! he cried, taking it on the if one looks for rain its not the lam. Baa, Bah! and L. This remarkable new discovery produces a fine, crystal-cle- ar spray that lets the natural color and beauty of your hair show through. What is its remarkable in- bio-dyn- e? Read Reduce 3 Travel To Resort Area (Optional). Lake Tahoe, Reno, Las Vegas, Yellowstone, Sun Valley, Glacier National Park, Zions National Park, Bryce Canyon, Grand Canyon. 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