Show 8E Standard-Examin- Sunday er Nov 21 1982 Dear Abby gofonto Academy DIRECTRESS: 4 Germain Solorio qjaiet Former Company Member of Ballet West Retarded children need love By ABIGAIL VAN BUREN DEAR ABBY: For almost four years I have been a surrogate mother to five mentally retarded children ages 12 to 19 so I can relate to “Los Angeles Mother” who described the daily horrors and heartaches of retarded raising a They keep one hand in their laps wipe their mouths when necessary and use sign language to say please and thank you They could sit at the president’s dinner table and make me proud! When I walk down the street with them and strangers atson at home tempt to shield their “normal” also are kids children from mine I could cry severely “My” retarded so I know how drain- Mental retardation is not contagious ing it can be I’m not an administrator I’m True I can go home after week and just a woman who cares I earn putting in my I don’t have to deal with them less than someone who has on my time off but I often take worked in a supermarket for the one of my kids home on same length of time so I’m defiweekends as well as holidays nitely not init for the money I such as Christmas Thanksgivtruly love these kids As soon as I can afford it I am and Easter ing There are rewards however going to adopt a lovable little I have taught them how to eat girl I’m caring for (It won’t be a dress and bathe themselves problem She was abandoned And they all have good manand has no family) ners I am very strict but I My heart aches for “Los never abuse them Their table Angeles Mother” who confessmanners are better than mine ed that the thought of “mercy 30-year-- 40-ho- been a “normal” PROFESSIONAL TRAINING FOR THE SERIOUS STUDENT AT AFFORDABLE PRICES said it!” The fact is that life with “heaven’s very special child” killing” had crossed her mind But she could have had worse problems Her son could have murderer NOW REGISTERING FOR WINTER QUARTER CAN be hell or drug addict She rapist should thank God she has some- et 5 to 7 years of age New Beginning 8 years ond up Adult Beginning 16 years and up It is a tragedy and a national disgrace that decent affordable housing for the mentally retarded is so hard to find We are a nation that spends millions on video games yet thousands of bemarriages and families are being damaged beyond repair cause decent residential care is not available for our mentally one to care for and love Retarded children need love and they give more in return than most “normal” children are willing to give Sign me CHILD CARE WORKER WHO LABORS FOR LOVE JOY — AND PEANUTS Teresa St Pre-Ball- 479-128- 7 retarded ur DEAR WORKER: You qualify for sainthood in my book Read on for a letter from a reader with another view: Abby please print this letter and alert our legislators in Washington At the very least families who suffer from catastrophic situations like this one should get some kind of a tax DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the courage to print that poignant letter from “Los Angeles Mother” regarding life with her retarded son I am sure that thousands of mothers in similar break you may use my And yes name circumstances read that letter (MRS) ELLEN DONNELLY ROCKY RIVER OHIO and sighed “At last! Somebody Miss Manners Try sulking By JUDITH MARTIN No parent worthy of the name louder if you're ignored “being as quiet as possible av- oiding people’s eyes and looking will tolerate a tantrum or an off into space if they catch outburst Swift punishment or yours and keeping your mouth the technique of treating the of- closed It doesn’t work so well n for the with shy children but in naturfender as a duration of the fit are the stan- ally bubbly children the effect dard ways of dealing with this is obvious “When you have to talk so behavior which fortifies the steadfast parent in maintaining that nobody can get mad at you for being silent use as few whatever dictum brought it on words as possible I don’t think How then is a poor child to the mouth actually has to be register his or her strong disag- pursed as long as it is generally reement on an emotional level closed and in such a way as to drive the “The most anybody can say without bananas parent provok- is ‘What’s the matter?’ ing stricter injunctions? “The answer is ‘Nothing’ You can say it coldly but I By sulking of course to pretend to try to be Properly done a sulk is wildly prefer if you follow me No cheerful irritating to the parent but matter how many leaves him or her totally unable asked what is times you are wrong you alto pin a punishable offense on have to keep insisting the sulker It is therefore the ways ideal revenge of a theoretically ‘Nothing’ “Once you agree to discuss on a suppowerless person your complaint you are no lonposedly powerful one ger sulking” Struck with admiration at this Miss Manners is fortunate enough to number among her useful social tool Miss Manners were acquaintances an experienced inquired whether there she details further any ought to juvenile sulker who was willing know — don’t bother “Yes to explain the technique for the on brothers and this wasting benefit of any younger sulkers said the expert “You who may be coming along She sisters” can at them” yell has noticed that it bears a reMiss Manners pursued What semblance to an adult weapon if the recipient of the sulk reknown as “acting huffy” useful fuses to react either from not for registering disapproval having noticed the quiet perfecwithout open conflict but readi- tion or out of a conscious decily admits the superiority of the sion to ignore it? classic sulk “Sulk louder” said the exnon-perso- The apprentice sulker must be careful not to confuse sulking with the silent treatment said the expert There are similarities of course a full FOR THE ELDERLY Enjoy Confidence and Peace of Mind Knowing Mom or Dad is happier in our bright and modem home atmosphere designed for older folks who can move about ond care for their personal meals w (A w AMERICAN FACE TONE CENTER 3480 Washington Blvd Suite 109 Washington Square Ogdon 394-882- MURRAY OGDEN SEARS ROEBUCK AND CO 268-531- 6 399-215- Questions And Answers About PHARMACIST’S NEW WRINKLE CREAM are praising your eb5 Wrinkle Cream Why has it become the most cream for aging skin on the sought-afteQ Women across the country r Because it works! and because it is a safe natural cream that can be used regularly twice a day A and give wonderful results Q You say it gives wonderful results What kind of eb5 Wrinkle Cream actually helps smoothe facial smile-line- s frown-line- s throat-line- s lines eye-line- s minimizes wrinkles and gives the skin a dewy soft Remember the ZCMI Beauty Salons offer professional electrolysis Electrolysis the only permanent is hair removal method for face underarms arms legs and hairline End the bother now and enjoy a sleek new self-confiden- ce forever Call us for your private consultation soon its free! 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Ogden Kinship Manor a state' licensed retirement home offers: Complete Dietary Program PRECISION HAIRCUT QJMftMMMJ eoupoH pert guests? but sister-in-laTwice and my refusal to speak is a detectable her us a with for family stayed felony of less magnitude than weekend both she and times overt anger but just as sure to insisted that I let her do her lead eventually to an overt reaclaundry at my house I find this tion boldness to be unnerving not to “The reason sulking is so an- mention the added expense of noying is that it really is perfect behavior” said Miss Manners’ source “You do everything exactly as you are supposed to but you are still sulking all the while After all nobody can say to you ‘Stop being perfect’ ” The sulking part consists of running less than half a load of deceased person’s name would clothes in my washer and dryer be included — after all this She also took the liberty (that is person can certainly not do any without permission) of washing inviting her car during their last visit GENTLE READER — It deShe maintains that we are and therefore I pends on where the wedding is “family” should not deny her these being held Miss Manners not favors I feel that she is abusing only agrees with you but would my otherwise generous hospit- go further and say that it is ality Please prepare me for the cheeky to make free use of the name of someone who cannot next visit speak for himself — maybe he — Do not would have disapproved of the GENTLE READER have a next visit A woman who bridegroom for instance However she wishes to point calculates the expense of runout that the intention of Mrs So ning her washer and dryer as being more significant than the and So and her daughter was convenience of her sister-in-laobviously to summon up the does not deserve to have family spirit of the deceased on this let alone house guests significant family occasion and so they are to be forgiven for the DEAR MISS MANNERS — I foolishness of behaving as received a wedding invitation though they could summon up that seemed a little odd to me his presence Let us keep our snickers to ourselves Hope you can set me straight Judith Martin’s “Miss ManIt said “Mrs So and So and So and the ners’ Guide to Excruciatingly the late Mr So and groom’s parents name invite Correct Behavior” (Atheneum) you to join them upon this holy is now available for etiquette union” I was surprised that a emergency consultation O E 1 |