Show Standard-Examin- Thursday August 12 1982 er 5E Ellen Goodman big bomb: How do people live with threat? The some apocalypse without the promise of redemption It’s hard to calculate just how completely the bomb has permeated our daily lives I don’t know whether the existence of this doomsday weapon paralyzed us or catalyzed us made us feel hopelessness or an urgency But even during the decades of denial it hovered at the edge of our consciousness One teenaged summer night I lay in the dark and played out a fantasy with a friend: What would you do if you knew you absolutely knew the bomb would be dropped in a year? How many of our actual adult decisions are still made in that mode? Last summer on the 36th anniversary I had a similar conversation with Dr Helen Caldicott who has been a leader in this antinuclear awakening How do we live with this bomb? Do we live as if the end were inevitable and opt for the private pleasures of life? Do we live as if change were possible? Do we live as if we can plan for our old age? These questions have all seemed more intense this year when our government began to talk in a mad patois about winnable wars and survivable wars As the President ordered the making of 17000 more bombs and reassured us with bizarre plans for civil defense the coun- - BOSTON — Once again we paid homage to these the grimmest of our anniversaries August 6 the bombing of Hiroshima August 9 the bombing of Nagasaki By now there has grown a kind of ritual to these anniversaries We round up the usual survivors the usual statistics the usual sentiments We remind ourselves annually that those two “primitive” nuclear bombs killed 200000 people immediately and 130000 people slowly We have on hand for these occa- sions a ready supply of powerful quotes about nuclear bombs Which one did you hear this year? Einstein Eisenhower or perhaps this one from Churchill: “The Stone Age may return on the y gleaming wings of Science and-ma- even bring about its total destruction Beware I say: Time may be short’” Still this is always a curious anniversary It’s less of a memorial to the pain of the past than a homage to the anxiety of the present This past week we commemorated 37 years of life with the bomb In this time we have built enough weapons between us the US and USSR to destroy a million Hiroshimas Two generations of us have grown up with the sense of their future hanging by a hair trigger The war babies the postwar babies were the first whose childhood nightmares took mushroom shapes Our monster was one that try began to talk again about the unthinkable In the midst of this a teenaged friend rephrased my own childhood she said questions Matter-of-factl- y that if she knew there was going to be a nuclear war she wouldn’t make plans toward medical school Medical school you see took so long was such hard work I reminded her about all the people who had made their lives since the bomb was invented We don’t stop don’t wrap ourselves in the bomb when we invest in an IRA sign a mortgage plan mourning sheets and wait for the end We proceed have to proceed as if there is sense to it 25-ye- ar a pregnancy But it sits there mocking us from our subconscious I know that humans have always lived with fear of the future Over Yet I have often wondered how much of the postwar unwillingness to delay gratification to postpone pleasure to sacrifice for the next generation came from the sense that we are living literally on a dead line centuries religious zealots have been sure that Armagedregularly don was around the corner Over centuries ordinary people have had fears of plague and childbirth t Jr Zf' a r V r-- 1' "3 r i- and wars? We are hardly the first generation to ask how would I live if I knew precisely when I would die? Yet this is different We are not talking about death but extinction Not talking about our future but about any future This was once again the ominous background hum the theme song for the anniversary of such an incompatible couple: the human being and the nuclear bomb We may not overtly think about - rr If - f P'r A irtXLfuv Ycua FCCDrr o MEATS & SSAFCPDT6 CnUGS o COSMETICS DEPARTMENT o FROZEN FCOD3 - N C 07 hair wash given Don’t pull your hair out if you have an oily scalp but the ends of your hair are dry! Instead Family Circle magazine suggests you try this treatment: Slowly pour 12 cup of witch hazel onto the scalp after we couldn’t escape Despite the e school drills all the follies of the fifties we knew that it would be impossible to duck the bomb The bomb has hung over us like civil-defens- shampooing and rinsing with water Best sap A maple tree gives the most sap when it is 30 to 40 years old Iove Lose 20 lbs in one month! 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