| Show ron vor for the lie deseret new news NOTES FROM THE SCRAPBOOK OF AH AN OLD REPORTER lecture on asro Aaro nomy romy by professor shoemaker astronomy Ast kat roomy of all the sciences deductive that is 13 v here bere tm mind ind can infer biler from the grean great vs of s aad the depth of discovery cover i or ot all others the he most roost i finite and when we a on the outset science Ici elice erice that millions mii mil ilona liona of ii i rrene between thia this earth and the bun dun ali alj he distance from one planet to another we are lost in the uie arithmetical dibtan ces cea and take fop for granted much mach that thai ia to true ai well a roach much that is absurd in our juvenile conceptions it is all taken for v very truth just as we believe belleve baron jack ajack tila the ilant kiler 1 or gull Guli travels and even in our more discretional and advanced years vre we are in some measure cc confirmed n in re fering to ithe uhe prognostications of astronomical observation 3 bich sich bich aa as eclipses the appearances of comets and the other phenomena of heavenly badler badiei again we hava connected with this thia science erice elice a lost coat of star gs who profesa profess to be as a s well weil ve acquainted with the whole zodiacal cat cata agory bory as a watchmaker is with the machinery of a timepiece the would be fortune tellers of a decayed egyptian traveling in the north of scotland in profession as a news gatherer I 1 was much rauch tak taken en up with the app arlie arglie e c a i p pa a ard ladima inga ing a lecture on thea the bove above science byhro by professor r murphy shoemaker a genius ot of extraordinary od inary calibre who u ho had bad discovered discover 1 ed thit tint the i and stargazing star gazing fraternity were no lio I 1 better than our quac quack doctors in their auda cious clous assumption to cure every disease imi inui dent to humanity by the application or of boiling in water wet sheets alv sweating eating powders injections and emetics ergo he came forth publicly to set their theares the ores at rest by cx ex posing their fallacy and ind to prove their allegations to be utterly at varia varla variance ilca tica cop compared pared with the facts and sublimity of bis his As this public announcement was rather an odi city of the kird kaid at the hour boar appointed I 1 was seated in the hall amidst a e crowd of novelty 1 j loving infidels to hear bear what no other man dared to dispute viz that whim t was so far beyond the reach of vulgar discrimination the lecturer fai tai faithful to his hia appointment was on the platform at the hour specified df dressed essed eased in habiliments rather derisive of the cloth of af the profession clothed in a red fl flannel arinel shirt short corduroy pants pante blue stockings hob bob shoes yellow night caland cap and ieather leather apron aprons Before Beto him ona on a table he placed his hia new y invented made with a few lath turning on a pivot called by him an eccentric chuck chack I 1 at the point of each lath was stuck a pota toe I 1 larger and smaller to represent the sun birth moon and other worlds baid said to be pian plan plants planets ts by ancient and modern humbug philosophers oso ers era j i he e made his hia introductory speech in accents accent 3 broad and quaint throwing aside every rue ff grammatical gramma ical construction as an art addes as des as the science to which his lecture had a direct reference refer reter enee enre namely leaned learned ile he eulogized the sons tons of cri pin as a class hoiass of men naturally enlightened antl anil gifted pitted by nature first and last leand leaving the emphasis on the i word last as a farfetched far fetched witticism on that class of tradesmen who only know where the I 1 shoe pinches and of which profession he was proud to be ranked it was on his hia shoemakers I 1 stool lie he had thought over and matured his present discovery and invented hs h s kunrt arrer ile he made an apology for the potatoes which he be said were the best heat sub I 1 i statutes utes for tor baus balls made ot et wood which he be meant to have as soon boon aa as bis hia pecuniary means could afford after this lengthy lubricous speech he said that he would now 1 to show the learned prote profess assion sion slon to be ite lle quite ile opposite to hla hia discovery that be he cou d p piove giove ve we had neither heat nor tiit lirt from chesun the sun which was the great error of uhe learned teamed world when making tuis thia remark he be very em elii hati cally and expressively put his finger on one of the largest potatoes suppose said be thia world which I 1 we inhabit was waa ninety millions of miles distant from this potatoe pot atoe represents the sun and tha the other the earth and suppose total darkness to intervene to within sixty mites miles of this thia lesser pot atoe atop bow could tight light ever reach it mark that gent gentlemen lemeni lement thia this is the grand quentio i i now kow bowra nowra m intel intelligent ligett friends friend continued he be I 1 will show you if not prepossessed or prejudiced liow we i e nave I 1 and leit without the sui suit you have all se n on a elear ilear cam caim warm addy day we call the zephyrs that cuiling emht in the air well these zephyra are nothing more nor less than the of ga gas gam 4 dran oran irom from the abe elath euth which ige ife form small scales or glitt alitt giitter ering eting in parti cr cles clea a like mirrors these when united by wy myriads myri myrl ia i ads ds fou form lou what is called the atmosphere i c et extends ads over entire bur sur surface tace of 0 this ear earth b now r 1 g eaid laid this thia much about the earth let me bay eay a word or two about the he i sun san now marki mark aa as I 1 sai bai bali balf I before this great centre of 0 our planetary system ia is BO so tar far removed irom irom from asp us that thal is the earth eam that we could not have light nor heat from it were it not for the nature of its com composition sadun now the sun san Is to us aa as a booking looking glass or ml mirror ia is to our face if the glass were not pa plated ite with mercury en on the opposite mide aide we could have no refraction so it is with the sun it la Is if I 1 am allowed thie expression a mercurial bodyl body at this period or of the lecture mr murphy being all over in one stream of perspiration searched the pockets of 0 his bis thell then deuced his yellow night hight cap in quest of bom som thing t wipe sipe his face but whether dropped rop ped or minus of such euch an article he applied his h leather apron over his smoking to the th io iio small desertion dever tion of the spectators spectator u who ho were so jammed lob log boether foether ether that they all looked as if they had just cone coine out of 1 a hot bath there stood the professor looking as serious as newton when be discovered the Geor georgus gurn sidus aidus gazing at his potatoe while the audience were con bleed in one continuous roar of laughter at the strange 9 metamorphose of the professors prore sors sor probo proboscis acis which was one N abua of blacking thet theet an appeared aa as a steller star on the red ground of a thunder cloud gentlemen resumed the lecturer as I 1 before remarked the bun eun la Is a mercurial body by which ir fluence influence or attraction tion the exhalations exha lations are illuminate illuminated d proda cing light and heat beat on thib thia pot potatoe pota atoe toe coe which i 1 represents the earth and jud just it in proportion 1 i to the position of th the e sun sua an and the r evolution revolution of the earth in fit its annual and diurnal motion will the light and heat beat ba to us ris for instance I 1 in midsummer when the influence is vert icle icie the heat beat of our atmosphere vi ull nil ill lii bo be thirty le de gecs fecs fees geater than in winter in which season the sun is nearer to this thia earth by some millions lotsof of milea miles than in summer showing clearly the truth of my discovery viz that it is the atmosphere and not the sun alonea alone to which we are indebted for light and heat the lecturer at thib this point of hii animadvert illustrated his ing by holding a lighted c andle candle to a mirror by its post tion the refraction retraction aad to be more I 1 orless aade move moved d his liand band from side to centre centred cen tret tred Hs he showed also how we had light likht by attraction and how bow darkness intervened from this thia globe to the sun by throwing the shade of the candle light into a room on the opposite side of 0 the hall halt where the light bruck struck the wall through the darkness there said he triumphantly it if I 1 had not this thid piece of plated glass to apply to the thie candle light there would be no such light lighten on the wait wall of that dark room aal if 1 bad no candle light this mirror would be aa as dark as pitch moreover to prove that heat beat and light are not derived from the rays of the sun as it is termed but from our atmosphere we have only to lok hok 1 ok at our highest mountains where the snows of winter never me melt and at the base of hibb summer wears a perennial bloom indeed on some mountains we have the temperate torrid and frigid zones all the yer through during the course of the lec lecture the potatoes were turned on their ax s by the eccentric div pivot tot lot to show the position of the planets and to 0 illustrate their distances in the varied seasons of 0 the year mr murphy whether learned or illiterate showed considerable point in his bia simple eelbode of proving bis theory and by the end of the lecture he had so tickled his incredulous audien audience cef cei that those who came to laugh at his rude attempt attempts ap and wilder specula speculations speculate ti ong retired wondering at his assumption and no less truthful truth ful fui hypothesis As there was waa no charge made for ad admittance mit tan tah ce a hat bat was handed banded round the hall when a handsome quantity of silver and copper coin coln waa was donated so much so that the frail coffer coul I 1 hardly retain the reward of his bis indomitable hardihood mr murphy in a very obsequious way thanked the audience and said that on the following lowing evening he would prove that the moon aloon was no planet and would prove also to them by ee te that the moon was a condensed body of par drawn from the earth and sailed or moved on the outer verge of the atmosphere in an altitude embracing the presence of 0 the tsin sun by day and night except when the earth intercepted the great nier mercural cural influence of ahe the centre bentte ot our out solar system ay stem he be intimated that an on tomorrow to morrow evening eveni nghia his hib bis would ba be fitted up to show that venus would ake take abe its course right through bie bhe the fie body of this thia supposed world called the moon and would conclude by describing tue the nature of meteoric bodies being compo composed sedot sedof oe the bame same comba tible matter illustrated by squibb squibs attached to the the centrifugal force of which would ignite the fi kworka and burst the potatoes three loud cheers responded to the farcical intimation of the lecturer who bowed himself very gracefully out of the hall waving his yellow nightcap night cap to the thundering response of his auditory I 1 retired to my lodging amazed at the ignorance and stupidity of human nature being pleased wish with wi h puch fuch tra hy garbage given in the shape of intellectual discovery discover |
