Show THE TOUGH YARN 1 from wy down eat or portraitures Portrait altures ures of yankee life a volume ct hu humorous orous onous i stories by seba smith reci C antly published shed J cderby CT C derby erby new york turk major grant of massa massachusetts chu was ivas returning in g home from moosehead Moose head lake where he had be been en to look after his newly new ly purchased township and to sell stumpage to the loggers for the ensuing winter when he stopped stopped for the night at X a snug tavern in one of the back towns in maine and having been to the stable and seen with his own eyes that his horse was well provi provided eed ded with hay and grain he returned to the barroom bar room laid aside his cloak and took a seat by the box stove which was waging c a hot war with the cold and raw atmosphere of november the he major was a large portly man well weli to d do 0 in the world and loved his comfort having ng called for a mug of hot flip flipp he loaded his fornabi long pipe p e and prepared for a long and comfortable for table tabie e smoke he ile was also a very social man and there being but one person in the room with him he invited him td to join him in a tumbler of flip this gentleman was doctor snow an active member of a temperance society and therefore he politely bygel begged to be excused but having a good share of 6 the volubility natural to his profession he readily entered into conversation with the major an sered many of his inquiries about the townships in that section of bf the state described minutely the processor proc process essof of lumbering explained how it might oe be made profitable and showed why il it was often attended with great loss A half hour passed imperceptibly away and the doctor rose drew his bis wrapper close about him and placed his capon cap on his head the major looked round the room with an aa air of uneasiness une asi what going so soon doctor no more company here tonight to night think dull business doctor to sit alone one of or these hese long iong ong tedious evenings even inan always want homebody to talk i with it h in man to be alone you know kow true said the doctor and I 1 should be happy to spend the evening evenings with you but I 1 have to go three miles to see a patient yet tonight and its high ig time I 1 was off but luckily I 1 major you on wont be left alone after all for t there ere comes jack robinson driving his horse and wagon into the yard now and I 1 presume hell not only ly 11 spend end the evening with you but stop all ni night c ht well good news said the major if hell only talk will he talk doctor talk yes till all is blue hes the greatest talker you vou ever met rhet ill tell you what major lii ill 1111 bt vet the price of your reckoning here tonight to night that you may ask him the most direct simple question you please and you scant get an answer from him under half an all hour and h shall keep talking a steady stream tb ib wh le time tlene too 52 dod idoni DOB sa d the major 11 tib itis a bet let us it fairly farly now you say I 1 may ask him himan an i r h phlin question I 1 please and he snail shall b 1 mi a if xi i i hour answering it and iak all the time tv ty and you voa will bet my nights reckoning anin 0 r t thatis flatts ele fie bet exactly said the doctor here the parties shook hands upon it just as the door opened and mr jack robinson came rame lim limpin ant ing r info into the room supported by a crutch w i h something of a bustling eare cre for nothing a r hobbled long iong v toward the fire the dot introduced lr jack robinson to major ci nt nf and after the usual salutations and sha shakir lir kir of hands 1 li robinson took his seat upon f t 3 ther other si su s r of the stove opposite the ma mr jhc J i k 0 o hison hlson bison v as a s sli sll all brisk man with a r t inkling twinkling FV ey aw add a knowing ex pressic ti i ent i evance ashe As he carefully settled h i ito to his hia chair resting his lame limb a i f th ee edge of the stove hearth he threw 1 t agelessly are lessly upon te vie floor laid hi hicri s e ru h ri ru ilg knee and looked 7 toun loun anund with a a that seemed to say aay now p i you Vou courant you want vant to know the time of lay lav d 1 v hemes heres theay the boy that can tell ye 11 i aliw allow me m mr robinson to help hilp you to a tumbler of hot flip said the major raising the mug from the stove 1 with all ny my heart and thank ye too I 1 I 1 robinson taking a sip from the tumbler 1 I L believe belleve theres there IS bothin better for a cold day than a hot flip dve known it to cure many a one who was thought tobe in a consumption ipp theres something soll so and I 1 have cnown known it said bail the tle doctor shrugging his shoulders to kill many a one that was waa thought to have an excellent constitution and sound health II 11 theres something so warming continued mr robinson following up his own thoughts so earnestly that he seemed not to have heard the remark of the doctor theres something so warming and so nourishing in hot flip it seems to give new life to the blood and puts the insides all in good trim and as for cold weather it will keep that out better than any doubled milled kersey or fearnot great coat that I 1 ever see 1 I could drive twenty miles in a cold day with a good mug of hot flip easier than I 1 could ten miles without it and this is a cold day gentlemen a real cold day the theres reli no mistake about it this cut like a razor but taint nothing near so cold as etwas a year ago the twenty second day of this month that tuat day it seemed as if your breath would freeze stiff before it got an inch from your mouth I 1 drove my little canada grey in a sleigh that day twelve miles in forty five minutes and froze two of my toes on my lame leg as stiff as maggots them toes chill a great deal quicker ean lan than they do on vother foot in my well days I 1 never froze the coldest day that ever blew but that cold snap the twenty second day of last november if my little grey gone like a bird would have done the job for my poor lame foot when ahen I 1 got home I 1 found two of my sheep dead and they were under a good shed too and one of my neighbors poor fellow went into the woods after a load of wood and we found him next day froze to death leaning up against a beech tree as stiff as a stake but his oxen was alive and well its very wonderful how much longer a brute critter will stan the cold than a man will them oxen even shiver perhaps said the doctor standing with his back towards mr robinson perhaps the oxen had taken a mug of hot flip before they went into the woods by this time major grant began to feel a little suspicious liat aliat he might lose his bet and was setting all his wits ivits to work to gix fix on a question estion so direct and limited in its nature ayat that it could not fail to draw from mr robinson a pretty direct answer ile he had thought at first of making some simple in inquiry 1 alry airy about the weather butte butle but he now felt con convinced vinced that with mr robinson the tha weather was a very copious subject he had also several times thought of asking some question in relation to the beverage they were drinking such as whether mr robinson preferred flip to hot sling and at first he could hardly perceive if the question were ivere put direct how it could tail fail to bring out a direct yes yea or no but the discursive nature of mr robinsons eloquence ton tin flip had already induced him to his lou thoughts IOU ts in another direction for a safe and suitable question at last be he thought he would make his llis inquiry in reference to mr air robi robinsons lameness he lie would have asked the cause of his lameness but the thought occurred to him that the cause might not be clearly known or his lameness might have been produced by a complication of causes that would alloy allow too much latitude for a reply he resolved therefore simply to ask him whether his lameness was ivas in the leg or in the foot that was a question guestion which it appeared to him required a choit answer for if it were ivere in the leg mr robinson would say itaas in his bis leg and if it were in both what could be more natural than that he should say in both and that would seem to be the end of th story having at len ien lenth length th fully made up his mind as to the point of of attack he prepared for the char charge and taking a careless look at his watch watch I 1 ah he e gave the doctor a sly wink doctor doci snow without turning turning or scarce appearing to move drew his watch A from beneath his hig wrapper so far as to see the hour and returned it again to his pocket mr robinson said the major if I 1 may presume to make the inquiry is your lameness in the leg or in the foot I 1 weil well that reminds me said mr robin 1 son taking a sip from the tumbler which he still held in his hand that reminds me of what my old father said to me once when I 1 was a boy says he jack you blockhead dont you never tell how it come there the reason of hi hia sa saying t ng it was ivas this father and I 1 was coming in t the steamboat from new york to providence and they was ivas all strangers on board we ive know one of efem yem lem from adam and on the way one of the passengers missed missed his pocket book and began to make a great outcry about it ile he called the captain and said paid there must be a search the boat must be searched and all the passengers 0 geis gels eis cis and all on board must be searched well the captain he agreed to it and at it they went and overhauled everything everything from one end of the boat to vother eother but they could not find hide nor hair of it and they searched all the passengers and all the hands but they get no track ont and the man that lost the pocket book took on and made a great fuss he said it so much on account of 0 the money for there a great deal in it but th tha papers in it were of great consequence to him and he offered to give ten dollars to anybody that would find it prett pretty soon after that I 1 was wag foun fixin up fathers beick beith belth a little where he ho wait wag goto to sleep and I 1 found the pocket book under the clothes at the bead of the berth where the thief had tucked it away while the search was going on so I 1 took it tickled enough and run to the man and told him I 1 had found his pocket book he batched it out of my hands and sa says bayn s he I 1 where ud did you fi hind find n d il 18 i P sli ys P I 1 iun IUD under the clothes jn the head kiwy fathers berth perth in your fathers berth did youl says he and he give me a look and spoke so harp marp 1 f jumped as if I 1 was goin going out of my skin says be he show me E the place placed 2 so I 1 run and showed him the place lace I 1 call your father here bays says le he so I 1 run and called father 1 I 1 now mister says he to father 11 1 I should I 1 like to know how my pocketbook pocket book come in your berth 11 1 I 1 dont know bothin about it says father 11 then he turned to me and says he young man how came this pocketbook pocket book in your fathers berth says 1 I 11 1 I cant tell I 1 found it there and all I 1 know about it then be he called the captain and asked him if he knew us the captain said he the man looked at us mighty sharp first to i father and then to me and eyed ug us from top to toe we neither of us dressed very sick slick bick and we could tell by his looks pretty well what be he was thinking at last he said lie he would leave it to the passengers whether under all the circumstances he should pay the boy the ten dollars or not I 1 looked at father and his face was as red as a blaze and I 1 see his dander begun to rise ile he wait for any of the passengers to give gi ve their opinion about it but says he to th the man dod rot your money if youve got any more money than you want you may throw it into the sea for what I 1 care but if you offer any of it to my liy boy ill send you where a streak of lightning nin reach you in six months y I 1 that seemed to settle the business the man say no more to father and most of the passengers begun to look as if they be lieve leve father was guilty but a number of times af after ter that on the passage I 1 see the man that hat lost the pocketbook pocket book whisper to some of the he passengers and then turn and look at father and then father would look gritty enough to bite a board nail off when we got ot ashore as soon as we got a little out of si sight ht of folks father batched hold of my arm and ad gave it a most adf awful ul jerk and says he I 1 jack J a cave I 1 you y ou blockhead dont you never tell where he anything is again unless you can first eli eil ell tell how it come there I 1 11 now it would be about as difficult con inked linued Robinson Mr af after ter a slight pause which he ie employed in taking a sip from his bis tumbler for me to tell to a certainty how I 1 come by this lameness as jt it was to tell teil how bow the pock et book come in fathers berth there was a hundred folks aboard and we knew some of jern iera em must mist a put it in but which one it would have puzzled a philadelphia lawyer to tell well its pretty much so with my lameness this poor leg of mine has gone through some most adf awful ua sieges and its a wonder heres theres an inch of it left but its itis a pretty good leg yet I 1 can almost bear m my weight upon it and with the help of a crutch crutch be surprised to see how fast I 1 can get over the ground it then your lameness is in the leg rather than in the foot said major grant taking advantage of a short pause in mr robinsons speech 11 well I 1 was going on io 0 tell ebli you all the particulars said mr air tte ItO robinson inson youve no idea what terrible narrow chances ive gone through with this ae leg 11 then the diff icay difficulty iv t in iii the leg is it not said major grant 11 well after I 1 tell you youbie the particulars sald said mr ilir robinson you can judge for yourself the way it first got hurt was going in a swimming when I 1 isas was about twelve years old I 1 could swim like a duck and used to be in uncle johns millpond mill pond along with his stephen half halt the time uncle john he always used to keep scolding at us and telling of us we should get sucked into the bloome bime by and break our necks under the water wheel B but ut cje ve k knew n ew better I 1 wed veld tried it so much we could tell jest how near we could go to the gate and get away again without being drawn through but one day steeve sleeve jest to plague me threw my ray straw hat into the pond between me and the gate I 1 was swimming about two rods from the gate and the hat was almost as near as we dared to go and the stream was sucking it down pretty fast so I 1 sprung with all my might to ketch the hat before it should go through through and get smashed under the water wheel vilen when I 1 got within about half my length of il i I 1 found I 1 was as near the gate as we ever dared to go but I 1 hated to lose the hat and I 1 thought I 1 might venture to get a little nearer so I 1 fetched a spring with all my might and grabbed the hat and ana put it on my headband hea dand turned back and pulled for tor my life at first I 1 thought I 1 gained a little and I 1 made my hands and feet fly as tight as I 1 could spring in about a minute I 1 found I 1 gain a bit one way nor vother eother and then I 1 sprung as if I 1 would a torn my arms off and it seemed as if I 1 could feel the sweat start all over me right there in the water I 1 begun to feel all at once as if death had me by the heels and I 1 screamed for help stephen was ivas on the shore watching me but he get near enough to help me when he see I 1 gain any and heard me scream he was about as as scared seared as I 1 was and turned and run towards the mill and screamed for uncle as loud as lie he could bawl in a minute uncle come running to the millpond mill pond and got there jest time enough to see me |