Show REMARKS by B r thomas 13 mar mars satt bowery Sunda sunday morning anin sep 0 6 1857 REPORTED BY J V LONG longi LO ngi 1 I 1 I 1 do not know chati can make all ail vast congregation hear dear and understand U Uder stand me ne my voice never was very strong but it has been veen very much weakened of late bear year by the afflicting afflic tin lin rod of jehovah he loved me too huchto let m me e go without whipping I 1 hav hai lwe ime e seen the hand band of the he lord in the chastisement which I 1 have received cei cel vedi I 1 have chave seen and known that it has bag proved he be loved me foria for if he had not cared anything about me he would nor no have taken me bythe by the irm arm and given me such aa a haking shaking I 1 if there are any among this people who should ever apostatize and do as I 1 have done dofie prepare your your backs for a good whipping if vou you you are such sueh as s the lord loves but if you will lake taka my mv advice you will stand by the authorities but bat if you go 20 away and the lord loves you as much as he did me he be will whip you back agda agae agala 1 many have said to me how is 19 it that a roan moan ridall like you your who understood so much of I 1 hp revelations of god as recorded in the book of doctrine and covenants should fall away I 1 told them I 1 not to feel too secure but to ake fake heed lest test they also should fall for I 1 had no scruples i in my mio mint as to the possibility of men fallin falling g away awall I 1 can say in reference to the quorum of the twelve to which I 1 belonged that I 1 did not hot consider myself a whit behind any of them andl and I 1 suppose that others had bad the sa same me opinion but hut let no one feel too secure for before you think of it your steps will slide you will not then ihen think lienk nor feel for a adm moment ent as you dib did before YOU fou lost the spirit spir it of ch christ tiit tilt for when men apos atias they are left to grovel in tha th dark I 1 have sought diligently to know the spirit of Christ since I 1 turned my face and idd I 1 I 1 have obtained it I 1 have frequently wanted to know how my apostasy ipos tacy stacy begun and I 1 have come to td the tiie conclusion that I 1 must have lost tiie ilie Spilt spirit r of the lu rd ut yut of in my heart 1 te next zt question is how and when dla did dib did vot von ose the spirit I 1 became jealous of the prophet Prop net nj then I 1 saw double and overlooked everything that bat was right and spent all my rily time in looking for the eyll evil slid then when the devil began t to 0 t lead ead m me at it was easy for the carns carps carnal mind to rise jp up which chichis chis djs anger auger jealousy and wrath I 1 could eel it within me I 1 felt angry and wrathful and the spirit of the lord baing gone as the scrip lures tures say I 1 was blinded and I 1 thought I 1 saw a oeana in br joseph Ps e eye y e but it was nothing but mote and my roy own eye was filled with the bearn beam I 1 ut I 1 thought sawa saw a beam in his and I 1 wanted 0 get it out and as br heber says I 1 got nad nai nd I 1 wanted everybody else to be mad I 1 tallied talked ith br brigham and br heber and I 1 wanted them hem to be mad like myself my elf eif and I 1 saw they were ot mad and I 1 got madar joadder still because they were lot not br brigham avith ith a cautious look matl maal said sald are ou the leader of the church br thomas I 1 in no well then said he why do ou not riot let that alt ali alvinel alone iney inel well this is about fhe the amount of my y i meddled with that which was not my busi but let me tell you mv brethren and ard rien dai daj si if you do not want to lo suffer in body and nidd nind no a I 1 have done if there are any of you that lave the seeds of apostasy apo stacy in you do not let the them their appearance ap but hut nip that spirit in tile the ud for it is misery and affliction in this world and ind destruction in in the to come I 1 know that I 1 was a very man and tind felt for the first four or five years especially that hat ifould never neier return to the church but to wards bards the iatter latter part of the time lime I 1 began to wake vak ip and to be se sensible isible that I 1 was being chastised ly the fhe he almighty and I 1 felt to realize the nage aage of jeremiah concertin con concerning cernin 9 ephraim Ephr aima aira in the ast days where lie he says Is ephraim my dear son Is lie he a pleasant child for since I 1 spoke against him I 1 do atly remember him still therefore my bowels re troubled for him I 1 will surely have mercy on saith the lord 21 5 thinks 1 I this language suits my condition I 1 ben then thought I 1 will go back and arid see if tile lord will leal beat nie me for I 1 am of the seed of ephraim and I 1 felt from that day and my soul was vexed with the filth filthy V conversation of I 1 boso thosa sodomites Sod after forni tormina ino ing this resolution I 1 tried to get an I 1 kept hept trying for fort two or abr three ea yeara for I 1 did noL vant to coee come come md dependent and arid on trying but instead I 1 m tead of gaining I 1 was wag like the man that undertook to cima the he tree I 1 down further than J got pot up I 1 then thought to myself I 1 am getting old and every year makes me 1116 older and weaker and if I 1 do I 1 ishall shall shail soon dley diey and then whose fault will it be I 1 concluded it would be my rny own fault jf if I 1 stayed J I 1 therefore said I 1 will go now that was last jast ast january Ja january nuary nunry I 1 looked round rounda a few days lo 10 see gee what I 1 could raise and 1 raised hive fire dollars dolla rs and ten cents and I 1 said sald lord dord it you will help heip me I 1 whid wald J felt Jelt that he would therefore I 1 started with but five dollars and arid ten cents county missouri dils Blis to come all the way 0 this vailey valley J knew anew that 1 could not riot that small sum and idid edid I 1 did not see how 1 I was to get any more but before I 1 got out stat tate file tile Lord thad changed my fortune and 1 I had bad tapa concluded within myself that th lh eLord was with me but still I 1 had llad some hardships for I 1 trav travelled Oleg dieg on foot in some severely cold weather and arld I 1 toned fo that my jay chastisement sas was not over notwithstanding wi t ti tiie tile e favor of the ifie londin lord m helping me rut to some means I 1 tel Tei remarked narke d that I 1 had h ad fifty five dollars when I 1 left the he states and bat tbt too without n tr fradin trading adin 0 or swapping g 0 or r stealing b buti but U ti I earned what I 1 gat got 0 and aud d left a good lood name behind me I 1 rf I I 1 have you sanio items of my apostasy apo stacy I 1 will now relate some soroa of my recent regent experience when when I 1 got to Florenc florence eor rr winter vinter quarters quakers where mere I 1 had to stay waiting for an opportunity to cross c ro ss ahe pie plains I 1 read many of lions and works ot of tho church and became strength strengthened and informed 1 in I regard to the q p priesthood ri estwood of nf til I 1 e son of god I 1 lwe ime knew w ola dla oia obo abo about ut the priesthood before so far faras s the tire theory vas concerned ye I 1 discovered khalil th alii atti alil had never properly perly understood it and bence hence I 1 feel that my f faith falth alj ali h is gre greatly atly strengthened I 1 wanted to cei gel posted up and see wb at t be mormons cormons Mor mons hay had had learned since I 1 left themi them and I 1 learned very much by reading the disc discourses that had bad been preached here bere i the doctrine doctrin 1 e of plurality was a great bugbear bear to me roc till I 1 g got ot to Fl florence grence prence and read tb the e W works of br orson pratt and now dow I 1 see that it is hear heavens 0 own oon W n doctrine and arid the churchon Church Chure hof bof of jesus christ bin ban can never never be perfect without it had I 1 known asni asui uch cf the church of jesus christ and and ana its doc doctrines times before I 1 apostatized asi as 1 I now know I 1 think I 1 could not have b backslidden back ac I 1 have ha ve I 1 come ba here to apt good rood lood society boget to get sour your fellowship I 1 want wane our fellowship 1 awant want your God to lobb lobe ae my god Go godana dand arld arid I 1 watto want wat to louive lire with you for tor ever m time e and to ta forsake the of god ally I 1 ingre augre 14 biant I 1 to have your confidence and an d I 1 want to 6 belone in of bf god bod I 1 have larded larned jo 9 u tinder understand stand what dag i vid said when h ife lie e exclaimer d fi 1 I would rather gathre be a doorkeeper r ill in the house bouse of god tharl th anio anlo I 1 tents offic wickedness h aness I 1 have ibave not come 4 her t to ID se seeli ek oi r any office except ibbe it be to eador b 0 r keeper or a deacon no ng I 1 am ani m nor fit but I 1 want a place am among 09 y yow you OV a 1 q a m ble seria serva servant i ni of the lorl lork lore I 1 did say sly guce once whan coming a along ong aln fin avert na veri ensly enily the ay thai that I 1 am api 1 boffice but it offar it I 1 W it and that yell show thra I 1 ido do riot ilot v ally buti took s tho said sald cay say 1 therill th the will of ot the lord belon be ane 1 I I 1 have now cot got a belter better u understanding hd elstan im 0 p nes yency res esi esl 4 ency of the ibe chirch church illa ilia thail I 1 r I 1 us used d to ask may ray self seit what trance e tween the president of our 4 true he be is not called a po pono pone but faut bir niesi plot qt ifer iea fea realities lies ties arld aud therefore e a pope r V god is at the head bead I 1 dorja doria ha sustained ustain edit edif it I 1 was alo aio r inep e start 0 0 i ap pp and hd ihen iben hen Joseph was as the little ae one oae but asche as ahe S scrip C rip tip wes les tures sar sav bayane Bayt the ne little de one shall anil becom become if tho harjd and 6 ofle senall one a atron strong nati josep 4 lived to become a thousand and nd this pe people 6 1 I are ara fast badomi becoming p a ina ira liol 1 ila ts I 1 am just lust confident as ican be in ah the truth uth of those fh at br He heber Heher herbas berbas lias spoken f tor I 1 s see ee hi my meditations how bow the priest priesthood bo od has been seen restored i when tb the tha lord had taken it ibra ibia the earth earli bythe death of df the tha apostle Apost lek lei ae and fand h ow pw the anahori ay iy to in the na name m of or jesua jesus christ was ggs ahr aiso also taken and zug that wh when en the authority went miracles e taken away and the power bf god ceased tabb to to men sen during the lomg long period odthe rute rule 4 jo f PD an ichrist and anarchy ai I 1 iee lee see wee the tha propriety of gods itan 1 9 ihl ill authority dhority in on one dan nan an and ia in having a hea bea beada 14 10 borome r p 0 m e thin thing see bie sic leiai lear and the mins arld arid vill of god when ase aie ibis I 1 said it christ is s he the great bead of the church christis Chris tila tiia the head lead of his church in the same relationship as every beades head is to the body tp to which aich it be belongs longi iongi for every evers head bead must hava have eyes to see a mouth to speak and ears to hear bear well jesus jeslis christ tha the is the iha head bead of the church and he be has got a man to represent him oa on tiie the parth earth viz president xoung young Yd unk uni jesu christ ig is still the head of the church and his will to 0 o mail man on the earth is known byj by means oftie mo mouth month mouthpiece uth piece of god the prophet and arid ser seer 11 mien wien icamen to these conclusions I 1 now I 1 will go there among them then for I 1 have ilage found out how low I 1 inay mav may learn searn wisdom from god I 1 want to earn wisdom and not to be ruled by my own imaginations god goil has ziven given oren dren me reasoning powers and I 1 will use them the mso so far as I 1 am capable in the acquire mert of knowledge but how low will igat wisdom rom god th tiie e answer is plain he speaks through his mouthpiece mouth piece therefore I 1 will go and tiace ilace my iny ears cars close to his mouth for I 1 am ain not aoa of hearing and I 1 will pray to god in eret and tosu cli cil helias hellas said he will answer them openly I 1 will pray for the tiling thing that I 1 want and the chief desire of my heart before god is that I 1 inay may know that be he accepts me well where shall I 1 go was ws the next question to get a re response res spouse pousa to this thin desire the answer was go to the fresi fresl president Ont of the church to the louth piece of god and then you can be taught and there will be no difficulty in learning the mind and will of god I 1 thank god that lie he has bas brought me back here where I 1 can receive such instructions ana with a prospect of seeing seeing 2 notwithstanding my advanced age the glory of god many nany of you that are Jyoung will live as bag been said to see the glory of god manifested on the earth Auie aule amenti Ament nic nyc 1 q id |